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Holding on the hope you will return
For a moment think that you have
Brief impulse is all that I've earned
Resist coming completely back

I'm lying beneath skies full of stars
Frozen ground padding my head
Weakly wondering where you are
Pushing up buried expressions unsaid

The deep roots are tough to rip loose
They've been planted profoundly for so long
Forlorn because I failed to use
Fearing they'd come out wrong

Anguish has now awakened
Manifestation of my flaws
Regretting the path taken
Past a parasite that gnaws

The thought of freedom makes me laugh
Existing but actually dead
Like the way I cope with being half
Acting like I'm whole instead

Isolation is an alien feeling
Heard stories but had no clue
Hardly remember what it means to start healing
Never had a cut as deep as you
You weren't the first, but you were the worst..
You steal away my smile
Replacing with hurt
My mind consumed with ease
Making me think I'm dirt

I'm tired of the pain
Future dark
Bleak
Display doesn't seem like home
Gets me not wanting to speak

I try yes I attempt to move on
Right the flaws inside
Always reminded of the past
I can't run or hide

You are doing just great
Dandy
Look up with determined grit
Here below the surface
Admit defeat and quit
Written 2-22-21
I just won a medal
I wasn’t in a war
I think it’s made of gold
I don’t know what it’s for.

I’m shocked at what it weighs.
They threw me a parade
I got an honorary degree
Jimmy Fallon had me on TV
now everyone recognizes me

My old friends told me I was fickle
by the paparazzi I became heckled
I was notified that it’s ‘taxable’
It seemed the medal was quite valuable
I became afraid that it might be stolen
so I donated it to the Smithsonian.

Now that I’m not wearing it
people have started to forget
now no one buys me drinks
or cares about what I think.
I’m no longer on the Wheaties box
fame was a drug and I’m in detox

The whole thing was bizarre,
should I do ‘Dancing with the Stars’?
or simply let it go - fadeout gracefully?
I think anonymity suits me.
Sitting in room we used to waste hours in
Visions of past make my skull spin
No matter what I chase to distract from your face
Nothing strong enough to take it's place
When dark is when I suffer the most
Shadows ideal home for your ghost
Take me to place
Take into your arms
Imagining
Whole body warms
Return to your side
Return to your bed
Release from the torment inside my head
Written 2-22-21
The gentle bite of silence
In night seems like a kiss
My gaze held as a weapon
Ignoring risk

So I remain free from fear
Doesn't work too well
Between eyes and mine is space
Day after day I miss your smell

Turn not ahead but towards me
Me and you formerly had it all
Stars used to shine for only us
They have since begun to fall

But if you remember
I'll love you til I die
Depths of devotion
Give me one more try
Written 2-22-21
Awesome
I am happy to hear you are happy

I love happily ever afters

You deserve fairytales

Like we had once upon a time before midnight struck and switched everything back to ****
Not every person gets a happy ending
The desire to pick up
Run
Escape the earth I walk upon
Everything else has disappeared
Fate
Faith
Life
Love
Still carry on
Some things in this world are eternal
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