Voices echoed the room.
Are they mine or yours?
There's no way to know for sure.
I’m no longer in my own body
And completely shaken to my core
My worth brutally contaminated

My bleeding voice chokes on your ability to ignore
my tears which you've acquired a hungry taste for.
You forgot to hide your ugliness under that crooked mask of yours
As you take my innocence as one of your artifacts.
My strength is tangled within your degrading fingers.
It hurts to be strong and try to fight back.
Within an instant, you turned my meaning into nothing.

It hurts to swallow your poison.
I should have seen this coming.
You couldn’t keep your filthy hands to yourself.
My defenses were down, but now I see what you truly are.
I know what you are.

****** tears still fall, feverish and dry.
The river flows on even though,
I'm already dead inside.
I'm no longer welcome at my own funeral.
I lay still and I wait.
For someone to take the burden away,
Along with my limpness body.
I lay in anguish as the smoking gun fades away.
All there is left to do, is to move on and deteriorate.

Our ghost will not rest in peace.
Our dreams won't be killed easily.
The Red River will overflow.
The truth will be known.
The earth will shake,
From the unbearable silence left behind.
In the graveyard of lost dreams,
The truth dies with you.

Pulling me in and out of consciousness.
A battle I can never win.
Fighting for peace relentlessly.
Making me out a fool.
A drowning fish that's forgotten how to swim.
If I breathe you in I'll suffocate slowly.
Bound to the depths of the ocean.
A pain that thrives.
Patiently waiting for the moment, when I'll be eaten alive.
Can I captivate the rising sun before I set off this deadly explosion?
How long can I survive?
Been biting the bullet for as long as I can remember.
I refuse to be made a fool this time.

I'm not a morning person anymore.
The sun shines its light on all of my problems.
They won't go away.
My world is not just rain, it's a torrential downpour.
The one thing that I crave just walked out the door.
I'm surrounded by all my demons.
No matter where I go.
I've moved seven times.
They always find new ways to make themselves known.
They are always there.
Haunting me.

There was a time when I had it all.
I felt big even when I was small.
In a home on sunset boulevard,
When I had it all.
Mornings on the terrace.
Lunches out on the bay.
Father standing tall.
Mother full of grace.
Never planned for me to live out of this suitcase.
I know in me they had faith.
But lacked it with each other.

   We moved further to the east side
They fell out of love.
Couldn't keep the fights to themselves,
Not even for my sake.
They couldn't rise above it all.
Didn't think of me at all.
Not even the holidays remained the same.
I miss our family Christmas cards.
Portrayed us in our best.
We loved each other genuinely.
Back in the day when I had it all.

Sometimes I lay here quietly.
In and out of consciousness.
I listen to the sounds I hear purely.
Nothing to taint the senses.
When I discovered the howls of the wind
and the birds that sing in the sunrise,
it evoked me of my childhood.  
Filled with nonsense and beauty.
Reminding me of everything I've sacrificed.
Kindling me temporally.
Just enough to keep me alive.
Reminding me of what I've sacrificed.

What have I done?
To be treated like dirt in your eyes.
Always under the gun.
Constantly being vandalized.
Forever on the run.

Run Race Horse Run
The shows only just begun.
What goods a race horse that's not any fun?
Show me your teeth like a good one.

You want to tame me,
But I was born to be wild and free.
Not in a dudgeon.