Anorexia is not collar bones.
It is the smell rotting of flesh as you dismantle your body bit by bit.
Anorexia is not a thigh gap, it is your knees so weak they shake as you fall to the ground.

Anorexia is not self control. It is the feeling of utter hopelessness as your life tornados into a blizzard of nothingness.

Anorexia is not fashionable. It is your mother’s sobbing eyes as she sees her child dying
Anorexia is not 80 pounds. It is the weight of a thousand pulsing suns on your shoulders.
A thick black cloud in your mind, and rules spelled out like chains pulling you towards the ground.
No matter what measure of gravity that you have in this earth, it still hurts, it’s still real.
So to you 'pro anas' who so blindly say 'hunger hurts, but starving works' think before you act.
Suffering is an addiction, please do not harm yourself with this affliction.
- *Emily Ward

she stands here
with her back against the wall
she helps me lock my door
when i'm crouched on all four

it's just a diet
keep it quiet
my problems lay in numbers
medical language wont help me here

leave it alone
i'll do this on my own
dont tell me it's dangerous
cuase i'm allready painless

**(c.m.h)

I envy those who can eat without conscience
I long for the infamous day when "things will get better"
I strive for an impossibility that I can feel within my reach
I expend the necessary energy to achieve a negative net
My mind rattles with number and limits
Counting the minutes 'til my next meal
Portion control and restrictions
Fighting the urges of binges
They say I'm just skin and bones
But what I see is all I'll know

The day I met Ana
Is the day I died.
They day I met Ana
I thought I would survive.
20 pounds to go.
To look like a pro
Ten pounds to go
Are my bones starting to show.
500 the first
400 the next
The calories went down like the fat on my chest.
I started to feel dizzy.
Empty inside.
I started to feel happy
Thinner with more pride.
One bone here.
Another bone there.
My heart was stopping.
It couldn't be more clear.
But Ana loves me.
She'll never stray.
No matter how many go,
I know she's here to stay.
It might cost me health.
It might cost me my life.
But id rather die than be fat.
Skinny is my dream tonight.

the less you eat,
the less you weigh
it'll show more every day

the more you eat,
the more you grow
and getting fat is a big no

so stop eating
it'll all be fine
just stop eating,
but dont you whine

if you stop eating,
you'll look like me
and dont you see
how happy you'll be?

I met a girl named Ana
she is beautiful in every possible way
her body is perfect, and she was
determined to stay

I made a friend named Ana
she promised to tell me her secrets of perfection
what I didn't know wouldn't **** me
until it led to addiction

my best friends name is Ana
she's always talking to me
recommending to skip two meals
maybe even three

I hate a girl named Ana
she promised me pleasure
instead I feel dead inside
it's nothing but torture

I'm prisoner to a girl named Ana
please, somebody listen to my silent crys
I can't speak my own mind
help me before I die!

my murders name is Ana
she made me starve, she made me weak
death wasn't the solution
I tried to seek

she's behind every smile
saying "this is what it takes"
she's behind every smile
both real and fakes

she holds my hand
when my mind becomes weak
she holds my hand
telling me not to eat

i'm tied to Ana
by the lies i've listened to
i'm tied to Ana
there's nothing i can do

i fade away piece by piece
as Ana watches on
i fade away piece by piece
soon it won't be long

maybe i'm addicted
to the lies Ana shares
maybe i'm addicted
maybe only Ana cares

can't let her go
i only wish i could
can't let her go
heaven knows i should.