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"nosebleeds" poems
you hurt like ache and adderall and arnica you hurt like bruises and battle scars and broken bones you hurt like cuts and ******* and countryside you hurt like death and destruction and die-hard you hurt like electricity and emergency rooms and edit-undo you hurt like **** you's and fire and fallen trees you hurt like garbage cans and gonorrhea and gang **** you hurt like hell and holes in the road and heartache you hurt like israel and illness and ignition fumes you hurt like jaundice and jugular veins and jack in the box you hurt like karma and kissing and kerosine lamps you hurt like lightning and love and literary terms you hurt like mother and mary and moses you hurt like nakedness and nosebleeds and nervous breakdowns you hurt like oil spills and old yeller and oral quizzes you hurt like parkinson's and parties and panic you hurt like queens and questions and quantum physics you hurt like rogaine and roses and rope burn you hurt like solar power and stomach aches and *** you hurt like teeth cleanings and tar and tobacco you hurt like ulcers and underwear and unrequited love you hurt like viruses and venus fly traps and vapor rub you hurt like warning signs and weight gain and war you hurt like x-rays and x marks the spot and xoxo you hurt like your mom and your dad and you you hurt like zig zags and zero and zip ties (a.m.c.)
0
May 10, 2014
May 10, 2014 at 2:05 PM UTC
{you hurt like the alphabet}
Let 'em hear ya in the cheap seats In the nosebleeds Trashed and thrashed The stove heats up the whole house The beauty pageant is being judged by those who have been bribed and the biased There's no room at the inn To the barn, I guess Ring in the morning As today's hectic schedule chimes in The chimney sweep preforms rhinoplasty on a bobcat And sends windup toys to Goodwill I christen thee, Backwards! Here, take this seven leaf clover for good luck
0
Jun 14, 2014
Jun 14, 2014 at 2:35 PM UTC
Unnamed Bologna
Trapped inside this box of your brain Just one way out ;  crystal's key Crush  purest, whitest rock. won't feel so foul though careful now! you'll waste your go theres only bout a gram you know translucent Blue cases and razor blades, an assortment of bank cards and notes far and wide, torn up notebook scrap dyed red -  a meaningful sign   from the brutal nosebleeds marking the straws The purest indication of our devout dedication; my love, complete devotion to such  godless acts Hear cheers of charlie speaking salacious acts Sniff some magic snow for silence the hankering soon be back One in the kitchen starting his war, One in the spre room - dead on the floor, Two in the bed lost to their head, And myself on the hunt for half ins for more
0
Aug 5, 2018
Aug 5, 2018 at 10:32 PM UTC
Snow (First draft)
She had a frazzled sort of look about her. Wispy hair fell into her eyes which were watering from the allergies she often complained about, the ones that caused her nosebleeds so heavy, she'd nearly faint from blood loss. But beneath her red eyes and curly hair was this pale, pink cheeked girl who listened to punk and wrinkled her nose. She was like an antique. Something worn down, beautiful and full of secrets and memories, that you'd find under a pile of books in a dark corner. She was sarcastic, flighty and judgmental, constantly angry with the world and culture that she'd been ****** into. She spent all her time forcing beauty and laughter into people's lives so they wouldn't see the shattered pieces of the world and subsequently herself that she tried to hide behind her back. Others might see this as sly or deceitful but it wasn't. Her lies were the selfless kind, if such exist. She wanted to protect people from the world that wore her down so cruelly and quickly, she became an antique person by the age of fifteen. This frazzled, determined, lovely girl may not change the world, but she changed my life.
0
Jul 10, 2013
Jul 10, 2013 at 12:01 AM UTC
Part of a Book I'll Never Write
i press the buttons, i carve out the map. i water the flowers, i mix the soil. the buttons don’t work, the map doesn’t show me the direction. the flowers haven’t bloomed this season, the plant is still not humid. we have becomes a voiceless society. the most manpower and  the most technology, the loss of energy, creativity and spirit. the voice has faded like a semi permanent tattoo etched in the previous edicts of time. the stones of civilisation had been laid, but the water tests our depth. the reef of originality used to tease us, oxygen; a valuable life currency. even more valuable than time. because without it, you cannot experience time. now it’s one foot in, and you’ve reached the depth. shallow shadows, clear paths. this machine patented clarity is a loss for all. clarity that has brushed away the wild ways of tracing fingers across life’s board. we have all the power in the world. and yet, we do not have a voice anymore. we have all the resources in the world. and yet we do not have any purpose to use these resources. life has becomes a dead garden, where everything does bloom with fifteen fertilisers, but what role do we assume, when all we do is just manufacture them? when will the sunrise and the sunsets ever be human again? what does it even mean to be human anymore? does this poem even have its own voice, in the galaxy of big data, machines and algorithmic nosebleeds? that is for you, the reader to decide. the poet’s job is over.
0
Sep 8, 2025
Sep 8, 2025 at 10:14 PM UTC
Untitled
i press the buttons, i carve out the map. i water the flowers, i mix the soil. the buttons don’t work, the map doesn’t show me the direction. the flowers haven’t bloomed this season, the plant is still not humid. we have becomes a voiceless society. the most manpower and  the most technology, the loss of energy, creativity and spirit. the voice has faded like a semi permanent tattoo etched in the previous edicts of time. the stones of civilisation had been laid, but the water tests our depth. the reef of originality used to tease us, oxygen; a valuable life currency. even more valuable than time. because without it, you cannot experience time. now it’s one foot in, and you’ve reached the depth. shallow shadows, clear paths. this machine patented clarity is a loss for all. clarity that has brushed away the wild ways of tracing fingers across life’s board. we have all the power in the world. and yet, we do not have a voice anymore. we have all the resources in the world. and yet we do not have any purpose to use these resources. life has becomes a dead garden, where everything does bloom with fifteen fertilisers, but what role do we assume, when all we do is just manufacture them? when will the sunrise and the sunsets ever be human again? what does it even mean to be human anymore? does this poem even have its own voice, in the galaxy of big data, machines and algorithmic nosebleeds? that is for you, the reader to decide. the poet’s job is over.
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32
Be my constant like Desmond and the Island When you and me met between nosebleeds and seizures of consciousness We looked to the sky and watched electromagnetic explosions That held our hearts pumping out supernovas In their hands we were Gods respectively blowing Buddha minds out of proportion re-enacting some center stage production of how we shift our own reality Subtly unspoken devoid of emotions lost like a lighter in a smoke circle Offsetting the light and darkness But You were always my constant again and again in flash-backs flash-forwards flash-sideways We could never escape the timeline
0
Sep 28, 2013
Sep 28, 2013 at 7:56 PM UTC
If Anything Goes Wrong...
I can't be your first love The one who's name waits on your tongue To lash out and remind me I am small within her shadow I can't be your first love With mocha skin Red wine dripped lips And the touch that may still creep into your dreams I can't be the first love You waited months to kiss In a firework glow (I wanted you more, God only knows) I can't be the first love Who captured you With artemis' grace And her goddess confidence (Rather, I'm the stumbling deer in your headlights) I can't be the one Who coiled around you Demanded princess treatments No, I never fit right on a pedestal I can't be her Though I've wished I could When the way you say her name Holds more than just nostalgia Now I know she's got the front row seats Serial effect on her side But don't put me in the nosebleeds Cause the previews always come Before the main event Yes, I can't be your first love But I'd love to be second
0
Nov 8, 2016
Nov 8, 2016 at 1:05 AM UTC
I can't be your first love
A marinate was played Full of granite and fine rings A bathtub of nosebleeds Danny and a bathtub of kings All the cards that were dealt all the hands that we played pulled the curtain bell Of my sleeve up to delay what I'd say and All the cards we swept under the rug Danny all the music we screamed From my sore throat and broken hands came the sound of suffering on a silent note in an empty room a bell jar and a piano and a single key being pressed in time to the sound of my weeping Danny My friends ignored my cries But here we are now with a new drum set and two sets of sticks for hands and we break everything we try to touch Danny thinking it can be played like the single key in that lonely room Listen there are vultures in my throat in all my baby teeth and landlocked blues I know that's the name of the song but I wanted to play it for you Just in case you forgot I could sing out my suffering And it doesn't sound so horrible now does it Danny Because you don't know the story it tells The blood diamond behind the curtain Well it glimmers just as well And I'm sure we can find a way to forgive ourselves for everything that was done But I'm in a two step programme Where everything gets reversed And no I haven't slept in weeks Danny you're right I know I look like **** I just haven't had time to think about what I'm putting in me When I try to scream and I come up on a single static piano key Listen there are ways we broke each-other and I'm sorry I tried But the sound of my suffering Doesn't mean waving goodbye
0
Jul 14, 2016
Jul 14, 2016 at 4:20 PM UTC
Danny
A marinate was played Full of granite and fine rings A bathtub of nosebleeds Danny and a bathtub of kings All the cards that were dealt all the hands that we played pulled the curtain bell Of my sleeve up to delay what I'd say and All the cards we swept under the rug Danny all the music we screamed From my sore throat and broken hands came the sound of suffering on a silent note in an empty room a bell jar and a piano and a single key being pressed in time to the sound of my weeping Danny My friends ignored my cries But here we are now with a new drum set and two sets of sticks for hands and we break everything we try to touch Danny thinking it can be played like the single key in that lonely room Listen there are vultures in my throat in all my baby teeth and landlocked blues I know that's the name of the song but I wanted to play it for you Just in case you forgot I could sing out my suffering And it doesn't sound so horrible now does it Danny Because you don't know the story it tells The blood diamond behind the curtain Well it glimmers just as well And I'm sure we can find a way to forgive ourselves for everything that was done But I'm in a two step programme Where everything gets reversed And no I haven't slept in weeks Danny you're right I know I look like **** I just haven't had time to think about what I'm putting in me When I try to scream and I come up on a single static piano key Listen there are ways we broke each-other and I'm sorry I tried But the sound of my suffering Doesn't mean waving goodbye
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25
we find ourselves crumpled like paper my nosebleed acts like glue you smell and taste like pixie dust my eyes roll around the room ascending towards heaven i grip your ribs like handrails you stop me short - 'i'm going to...' and like a napkin under the dinner table i’m falling off your lap you'll remember me when you need to clean up when you need to wipe your hands
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May 5, 2016
May 5, 2016 at 11:55 AM UTC
nosebleeds
a young couple in love turned into a disaster neither of you wanted, a weakened man cut down by life reaches out for just a taste of the dragon, and life spirals down from there, utter depression, daily beatings, tons of lies and painful cries, and somehow she managed to keep her hope alive. she held her hands out like a life ring, just begging you to grab on, her only desire was to save you. her heart stopped beating after years of loving you and praying you'd get over your self destructive habit. she begged you to love her the way you used to, although she accepted it when you couldn't. and when your heart turned cold and icy, hers was still warm enough to heat up a room. it's too bad you'd rather be stuck in your lonely ice box that you call a soul. battered and bruised, you're twisted and she's confused, she can't escape this place. she's too invested and in love, she prays from help from above. all she wants is her old life back, where you loved her more than misery and smack. blood shot eyes, one too many lies, and ******* broke her spirits and for some reason that came to your surprise, but you only cared went you weren't high. the stale smell of blood, constantly finds it way into her nose and drives her crazy, and when she craves a line or two of sugar her nails dig holes and lines into her skin. she's lost all hope, all love of life, she's given up on God, and you know it ain't right. she wakes up screaming from her dreams, to sooth your soul to go back to sleep, you go into the bathroom in the dark, take out the band, and jab another needle through your so called heart, then collapse in comatose beside her cold body. ©
0
Feb 7, 2013
Feb 7, 2013 at 10:14 AM UTC
rubberbands and nosebleeds
a young couple in love turned into a disaster neither of you wanted, a weakened man cut down by life reaches out for just a taste of the dragon, and life spirals down from there, utter depression, daily beatings, tons of lies and painful cries, and somehow she managed to keep her hope alive. she held her hands out like a life ring, just begging you to grab on, her only desire was to save you. her heart stopped beating after years of loving you and praying you'd get over your self destructive habit. she begged you to love her the way you used to, although she accepted it when you couldn't. and when your heart turned cold and icy, hers was still warm enough to heat up a room. it's too bad you'd rather be stuck in your lonely ice box that you call a soul. battered and bruised, you're twisted and she's confused, she can't escape this place. she's too invested and in love, she prays from help from above. all she wants is her old life back, where you loved her more than misery and smack. blood shot eyes, one too many lies, and ******* broke her spirits and for some reason that came to your surprise, but you only cared went you weren't high. the stale smell of blood, constantly finds it way into her nose and drives her crazy, and when she craves a line or two of sugar her nails dig holes and lines into her skin. she's lost all hope, all love of life, she's given up on God, and you know it ain't right. she wakes up screaming from her dreams, to sooth your soul to go back to sleep, you go into the bathroom in the dark, take out the band, and jab another needle through your so called heart, then collapse in comatose beside her cold body. ©
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14
I write your name                               in red    sunlight seeps through bottles           on a windowsill    margarine kaleidoscopes          on legs naked for a change (early summer risky business) Floorboards yawn      under the weight of our stories    I take showers         as well as baths now    Can't be twenty-one here older   shush you couldn't tell    Roll my finger    make your piano tingle like when our wrists     bump together     when spines crackle on books bought yesterday     this city   bubbles         all fiction You think monochrome      makes you look better      camera   snap   done jazz sashays around the room     head out a window hear people as nosebleeds                     scrabble about You flirt         (what a discovery) like flowers in a vase    orange juice   bagels ten-plus-ten toes      (A moment where your eyes ache      into mine) I hop stepped jumped into this mess      you know as well as I do      what a delectable mess we are in
0
Jun 15, 2014
Jun 15, 2014 at 5:29 PM UTC
Fresh
*Hey, Mr. Rager! Mr. Rager! Tell me where you're going! Tell us where you're headed!* This is an ode to all the lungs you've burnt, all the times you knew how hurt I was and am and how my heart bruises the inside of my chest, beating the **** out of me, trying to burst from my body, frantic, afraid. Oh- credit card fingers, syringe tongue, bloodiest of Sunday's, show me how to roll it, show me how to make origami of my bones. I'm off on a adventure. To the fickle space between the folds of your brain, to the indecision, to the gentle curve of your shoulders that I trace with my palm, to the gaps in your happiness. *Mr. Rager! Tell me some of your stories Tell us of your travels Hey, Mr. Rager! Mr. Rager! Tell me where you're going! Tell us where you're headed!* To the untouched spots on your cheeks, to all the noises that frighten you, to all the things that go bump in the night, to starving, to all the stucco paint, to acid flashbacks, to paranoia, to my knuckles, ****** from beating myself up. I'm on my way to Heaven. To the rolling back of your eyes, to ******* nosebleeds, to drunk driving, to the ***** all across your chest, to your mother's mother, to the way your eyes soften when you look at me. *Mr. Rager! Can we tag along? Can we take a journey?* You're asleep in my arms, my hand in your hair. The world is turning a little slower.   When will the fantasy end? When will the heaven begin?
0
Oct 23, 2016
Oct 23, 2016 at 11:57 PM UTC
Hey, Mr. Rager
I can see you smiling through the pain You've been through storms of hurt and rain Your heart is big, but your eyes weak But you still act strong, oh so sweet Although you say you're quite alright Saying that phrase takes all your might Such a weak soul, you think to yourself And begin doing things not good for your health You'll walk out of bathrooms with nosebleeds Hiding your face so no one sees No one knows anything Just the way you want it to be Years after rehab, you begin again But to stop, all you needed was a friend Someone who cared about you so And take care of you in times of woe A friend who loved you endlessly And to make sure you fell sound asleep A friend at heart is all you need To cope with this world full of greed
0
Sep 30, 2012
Sep 30, 2012 at 2:44 AM UTC
Hidden Truth
They say young girls are the best at keeping secrets 1. I have to pretend I have nosebleeds to excuse myself from having to sit further into the cinema because at some point there is the possibility that I will need to escape these social situations I can’t deal with. Anxiety is taking over my entire life. 2. I want to try ecstasy just to see if the colours really are as vibrant as they say they are. Can the browns really be more beautiful than his eyes? 3. I often think about killing myself because breathing is getting too hard. It’s been too hard for years but I stopped telling my therapist because I don’t want her to feel bad. I don’t want her to feel like she’s not good at her job. 4. I wake up every day terrified that really I should be in Art school because when I talk here, it still feels like no-one is listening. If I drew my words would they see them any clearer? 5. I call God on the landline phone because my mobile has bad signal. It keeps on telling me it’s trying to connect, connect... I think I forgot to pay my bills. 6. I lose potential future best friends because I refuse to be a sob story and therefore I don’t tell them much. The very idea of being one leaves an uneasy feeling in my body. Like pills too large for my throat or pins and needles. 7. I can’t pin this down. I’m not sure I ever did. 8. I’m still in love with a boy who spells my surname incorrectly. He doesn’t care. 9. I’m not sure I will ever be happy. And that scares the **** out of me. Because if I can’t be happy, then what is the point of smiling? 10. Sometimes I feel like I don’t deserve my voice box. Most nights I wonder if it’s still there. I’m not good at keeping secrets.
0
Nov 2, 2013
Nov 2, 2013 at 5:24 PM UTC
Secrets I try not to tell You
They say young girls are the best at keeping secrets 1. I have to pretend I have nosebleeds to excuse myself from having to sit further into the cinema because at some point there is the possibility that I will need to escape these social situations I can’t deal with. Anxiety is taking over my entire life. 2. I want to try ecstasy just to see if the colours really are as vibrant as they say they are. Can the browns really be more beautiful than his eyes? 3. I often think about killing myself because breathing is getting too hard. It’s been too hard for years but I stopped telling my therapist because I don’t want her to feel bad. I don’t want her to feel like she’s not good at her job. 4. I wake up every day terrified that really I should be in Art school because when I talk here, it still feels like no-one is listening. If I drew my words would they see them any clearer? 5. I call God on the landline phone because my mobile has bad signal. It keeps on telling me it’s trying to connect, connect... I think I forgot to pay my bills. 6. I lose potential future best friends because I refuse to be a sob story and therefore I don’t tell them much. The very idea of being one leaves an uneasy feeling in my body. Like pills too large for my throat or pins and needles. 7. I can’t pin this down. I’m not sure I ever did. 8. I’m still in love with a boy who spells my surname incorrectly. He doesn’t care. 9. I’m not sure I will ever be happy. And that scares the **** out of me. Because if I can’t be happy, then what is the point of smiling? 10. Sometimes I feel like I don’t deserve my voice box. Most nights I wonder if it’s still there. I’m not good at keeping secrets.
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12
Lemme set fire to your home. Call the fuzz, I'll pick it out my navel and run. You'll never catch my intent cuz it's way over the foul line and into the nosebleeds.
0
Jul 9, 2013
Jul 9, 2013 at 12:04 PM UTC
Strikes
father was visited one night by his terrible stomach long enough for it to mumble no one has to know I’m here. his brothers were all red sheep. his daughter from his first two marriages has since gone on to assess accident vehicles. when I was a boy I’d tell her one breast didn’t like the other. she’d cry. twirl a baton. her baby brother would call to her from the front lawn and I’d have to go under her bed for the window ladder because she was wearing a skirt. her mother was said to be able to floss with cobwebs. her mother entered my thoughts with video game controllers that had taken the brunt of nosebleeds. everyone was soft or painting books in an after hours library. afflicted with hush, my father ventures wholeheartedly into the phrase *it’s all ***** in a sandbox* while aware of the baton as anomaly. poems provide the mediocre privacy of poems.
0
Sep 15, 2013
Sep 15, 2013 at 12:27 PM UTC
triplicate
the modern miracles of the modern messiah - feeding the destitute  with one chicken - quenching their first with a litre  of Coke - modern mercies at the homeless shelter - the young kids with gout and nosebleeds all the odd numbers at the bingo hall solar power fuelled anger buy one get two free as the flies buzz around the discarded fruit out back of the supermarket angels with ***** faces angels in Nikes
0
May 16, 2017
May 16, 2017 at 3:26 PM UTC
messiah with chicken
That was the day your face seared onto the inside of my eyelids. That was the day a gentle hunger stroked my belly, and that was the day where we trekked the entire length of Manhattan with Gershwin bubbling from our mouths. And that was the day I discovered the city at night in broad strokes, that was the time where my steps grew a little bit larger, where we painted the soles of our feet and colored the sidewalks our footprints dripped where the colors blend you held my hand and held your breath as you walked against the red light. That was the summer you began the nonchalance around me and that’s when I knew our friendship was over, sailed on when the vessels in my nose broke and blood started gushing out. I was bending over the sink to catch the droplets in the water fingers poised over the bridge of my nose to stem the flow and when I called out for you, called out your name, you replied with clinical directness completely impassive and proceeded to google how to stop nosebleeds all the while chanting “nose nose nose” in a singsongy breath and that’s when I knew that the ship has sailed onto muddy waters. Which is the dream and which is reality? For there are some images that are so beautiful I find it hard to believe I was awake and yearning That was the day where you reached to fix a leaf on a branch and I caught a pale sliver of flesh, that streak of white stomach, the glance down at me, the blush, the light tarnishing that yellow hair, setting my heart ablaze
0
Mar 17, 2013
Mar 17, 2013 at 5:17 AM UTC
Fever Dream
That was the day your face seared onto the inside of my eyelids. That was the day a gentle hunger stroked my belly, and that was the day where we trekked the entire length of Manhattan with Gershwin bubbling from our mouths. And that was the day I discovered the city at night in broad strokes, that was the time where my steps grew a little bit larger, where we painted the soles of our feet and colored the sidewalks our footprints dripped where the colors blend you held my hand and held your breath as you walked against the red light. That was the summer you began the nonchalance around me and that’s when I knew our friendship was over, sailed on when the vessels in my nose broke and blood started gushing out. I was bending over the sink to catch the droplets in the water fingers poised over the bridge of my nose to stem the flow and when I called out for you, called out your name, you replied with clinical directness completely impassive and proceeded to google how to stop nosebleeds all the while chanting “nose nose nose” in a singsongy breath and that’s when I knew that the ship has sailed onto muddy waters. Which is the dream and which is reality? For there are some images that are so beautiful I find it hard to believe I was awake and yearning That was the day where you reached to fix a leaf on a branch and I caught a pale sliver of flesh, that streak of white stomach, the glance down at me, the blush, the light tarnishing that yellow hair, setting my heart ablaze
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4
No immediacy to what has escaped It's run back down hill Sisyphus so old he can't chase They'll be no more pushing up Except for daisies So plant it here Next to me, Big Rock We've rolled enough And never got up that great big hill In any case, I get nosebleeds When I'm that high We might just as well be happy With the ruts we've created Perhaps we've made it easier For the next guy
0
Nov 25, 2015
Nov 25, 2015 at 8:19 AM UTC
Dawn Of Sisyphus
through open windows hear screams at night lay motionless lone mattress dark empty room four walls closing in a cold sweat in a dry heat growls and grunts raise from outside soft drum beats the devil is owed his due hands run through matted hair breath long and staggered tobacco stained teeth ******* induced nosebleeds screams grow louder grizzled voices rip free broken hands pound dead chest heaves raises raises raises one high pitched ring it was always me screaming
0
Dec 17, 2013
Dec 17, 2013 at 10:55 PM UTC
Nightly
Not much like this high. Your brain about fifteen seconds in advance of your body. Staring around at your friends. Blood dripping from your nose. They don't tell you about the nosebleeds. They don't tell you about the burn that guts you out right behind the eyes. The ache in your chest as your lips curl and your eyes roll back. Not much like this high, boys and girls, not much. Chopped and cut; a one way ticket to El Dorado. Your spine breaks as you attempt to stand. Your legs buckle. Time passes. You're on the porch, knee deep in the pool, ******* it feels good. Time passes. You can't eat. You can't drink. You can't blink Not much like this high. It don't last long though. Here comes the tide rolling in. Here comes the Downs. Down down down. Killing yourself is too much to pass up on these days. Too much going on not to take a trip. Get up. Get away. Haven't eaten in days, just crank. Chop up. ***** up. Line up. Inhale. Don't forget to breathe. Saved a hundred dollar bill for the occasion. Break it in. Go go go. Quick, before the Downs come. Go go go. Screaming from the inside out. What have we gotten ourselves into? Vicious cycles and bad habits that won't break. Vicious war within ourselves; broken bones, nosebleeds, and all of everything burnt out. Our souls turn to ash as we lean in closer, and laugh because we know we shouldn't.
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May 28, 2014
May 28, 2014 at 4:59 PM UTC
Crank
I miss her. I miss how we used to be. We sat on my bed and wrote on my wall, "We're 13. People treat us like kids, kids have fun. When did we start making life so ******* complicated? We need to have fun again." We need to have fun again. We needed to have fun so she took a bottle to her lips and started crushing pills. We needed to have fun, but we took keys and razors to our wrists under desks, in bathrooms, and under covers to deal with the fights, the lies, the whole world being against us. (A tradition i recently continued after 4 years by taking a razor to my upper arm in our school's art gallery.) Those Nights that we spent together, those nights kept me alive... until they didn't. Until I lost her. Until she became nothing but the smoke of a burnt out candle remnants of the blazing fire that she once was, whispering, "you're a liar... you said you'd get better." I sit back and see her wasting away and i hate myself for not trying harder to save her. We needed to have fun but as I watched her transform from a girl to a ghost, all gangly limbs and rotting teeth and scars and nosebleeds and missing conversations and empty words, I wonder what kind of fun she could possibly be having. I used to know her better than I knew myself but as i watch her go from a sister to a stranger, I realise i barely know her name now. i miss her. I hope she knows this isn't what i meant when i said, "We need to have fun."
0
Nov 10, 2015
Nov 10, 2015 at 2:37 PM UTC
For Her, part 1
You are getting nosebleeds at all the wrong times the tears welling up behind your eyes to track down  your pale, pockmarked cheek and that bulging in your throat constricting the airflow let’s you know that fast can be too fast you thrive with the sunlight but like flowers standing tall against the oncoming winter you wilt with day’s last breath what time did you get home this morning? hair all matted and stood up smelling like a sorority party massacre glitter, wine, tequila, coke, and anonymous **** take another adderall ******* for the bored children feel the electrical signals pulse from your brain to snap your pupils to attention wash the ***** out of your hair sweet heart the boys back home never talked to you the way these city boys do “girl, ***** chick, **** ***** -” “oh her? yeah she’s a sure **** her legs are like seven eleven they’re not always doing business, but they’re always open…” So forget the night ever happened each day brings new opportunities but they all want you they all want one thing from you and you don’t want to say no don’t want to make them mad, be a tease, a ***** frigid and you like the way they make you feel special and beautiful until the next morning with the nosebleeds and the dry heaving in strange toilets and you are waiting for Prince Charming, huh? as if he will jump out of cheesy romcoms and magazines to hold you steady well Prince charming is dead weight slowly spinning beneath a frayed, twisted rope in a dark closet next to the nameless stranger and the noble outlaw so go ahead and smash those mirrors sweetheart what’s seven years more bad luck?
0
Mar 17, 2014
Mar 17, 2014 at 12:57 PM UTC
Miss Placed
You are getting nosebleeds at all the wrong times the tears welling up behind your eyes to track down  your pale, pockmarked cheek and that bulging in your throat constricting the airflow let’s you know that fast can be too fast you thrive with the sunlight but like flowers standing tall against the oncoming winter you wilt with day’s last breath what time did you get home this morning? hair all matted and stood up smelling like a sorority party massacre glitter, wine, tequila, coke, and anonymous **** take another adderall ******* for the bored children feel the electrical signals pulse from your brain to snap your pupils to attention wash the ***** out of your hair sweet heart the boys back home never talked to you the way these city boys do “girl, ***** chick, **** ***** -” “oh her? yeah she’s a sure **** her legs are like seven eleven they’re not always doing business, but they’re always open…” So forget the night ever happened each day brings new opportunities but they all want you they all want one thing from you and you don’t want to say no don’t want to make them mad, be a tease, a ***** frigid and you like the way they make you feel special and beautiful until the next morning with the nosebleeds and the dry heaving in strange toilets and you are waiting for Prince Charming, huh? as if he will jump out of cheesy romcoms and magazines to hold you steady well Prince charming is dead weight slowly spinning beneath a frayed, twisted rope in a dark closet next to the nameless stranger and the noble outlaw so go ahead and smash those mirrors sweetheart what’s seven years more bad luck?
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38
losing love and feeling numb she is strung through the trees and i am at the bottom of a bottle he will hold your hands and i will brush your hair when there is nothing good to say we will weep with you every night you need to until numb is the new norm august and everything after will never be the same because she died and the leaves are racing to catch up book bindings unwind down all four of our spines and dormitory air is only good for nosebleeds if i could sleep around a fire with my best friends every night i would because even if we cant see the stars we each have faith that they are still there
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Sep 6, 2015
Sep 6, 2015 at 9:21 PM UTC
how long will we be numb
It feels like wind whipping through the darkness Looking up at trees without leaves, through branches Right into the cold black of oblivion where the sea Parts and cradles and sits waiting patiently For all life there ever was to end, for just a break It gets so busy when everything happens all at once Dizzying, drawing attention back to street corners And cars bustling past the stragglers at 3am Who can't decide if they would rather be living or dead And instead settle for the nothingness between the two Lounging on couches, covered in nosebleeds and picking at scabs Longing for a youth that has been replaced by bitterness You had a teacher once who told you that life spoils you There has to be great care taken you don't die before you rot He waxed on about power lines and the role of money in politics And promised he was the supreme specimen, rational But he forgot to look up at the stars at night, to remember To inhale the smoke that's never visible, to exhale white winter frost He never left behind his body in the pursuit of understanding I miss him and the legacy, the promise of materialism Everything seems so pointless from this vantage
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Nov 2, 2015
Nov 2, 2015 at 11:31 PM UTC
Suicidal (alternate title: Deity)