"damnest" poems
You peered into the camera once,
And you cried
And I held you
I should have realized then
That all the love in the world
Would not make the damnest difference
Nov 6, 2011
Nov 6, 2011 at 4:03 PM UTC
my mind is constantly going
going and going and going
worried about the day head
and still trapped in yesterday
i'm always dreaming about the future
but hardly do I sleep
even though i walk this earth in a visibly awoken state
subconsciously unknowingly
my sanity is weak
trust a higher power is what they say
but even that we cannot see or touch
who's to say god is real anyway?
walk with me
let me show what it is i speak
because to explain in spoken word is something not of my expertise
so i will paint you a picture in poetry
place yourself in cloth sneakers
standing in the middle of the rain
arms open wide head tilted back
and when the lightening strikes
you'll feel a wave of pain
you see the storm will let up, and you'll see a slight break in the clouds
but you'll never fully see the sun
that's what my life is like now
and in all this going and going and going
i must rest my weary head
while nightmares make the best of bad weather
planting the damnest of seed as slight as a feather
fear
worry
fright
anger
sadness
happiness
delight
sickness
wellness
day
night
grief
loathing
pity
spite
jealousy
hatefulness
weakness
fight
acceptance
willingness
wrong
right
if there's anything you haven't felt
at some moment you will feel
for the mind is a tricky being that may fascinate you into your very own doom
because in your waking life
you won't know what is and isn't real
walk with me
i think about life
i think about death
i think about time i've wasted
i think about time i have left
i think about my future
i think about my past
i think about my happiness
i think how long it may last
i think about god
i think about faith
i think about my love
i think how long will he stay
i think about who i am
i think of who i am to be
i think of my imprisonment
i think of being free
i think of my thoughts
i think of my fears
i think of leaving this place
i think as if i'm still here
who's to say i've succumb to my mind
i am well aware that what i search for
may be something i'll never find
peace
does it truly exist?
or is it a place in our imagination?
a place of harmonic endeavors
a place where our souls may finally
seek self proclamation
a place we may finally rest our hearts
in full adoration and acclamation
what's that you say?
peace?
walk with me
Jan 4, 2015
Jan 4, 2015 at 6:33 AM UTC
I've been in some pretty big fights with the people I love the most in my life, yet time after time we find ourselves unscathed, undamaged, and unflustered. Patching the pain I fortuitously cause others isn't some errand I bitterly await, it seems like more of a human duty.
I never have a hard time fixing things that are broken in my life. A glass shattered on the floor this morning, & now it sits stitched flawlessly on the shelf.
It just feels right to leave something the way I found it, or at least try my damnest to get it near perfect. It really is the try that matters.
And I just don't understand how it can be... so easy for me to say I'm sorry, while it's somehow so easy for you to unapologetically lacerate every inch of my sympathetic soul.
Feb 23, 2016
Feb 23, 2016 at 4:53 AM UTC
How can you fail
At something that calls to you;
Calls to your core?
How can you fail
When you try your damnest?
When you give everything you have?
How can you fail
If you want something so much?
If you believe it to be your future?
How can you fail
When all you've given for a year and a half
Hasn't been enough?
How can I fail
If all I want is to succeed
And to have a future?
Dec 18, 2014
Dec 18, 2014 at 9:35 PM UTC
early morning at the
coffee house
toasted sesame bagel with jam and cream
cheese
coffee and cigarettes
crazy sparrows jumping in the hedges
of the patio
you and the old men
steaming cups, unraveled
weekend edition of the newspaper
on tabletops
you and the sweet, quiet old men
only they understand
going for a long walk
you hear two boys shuffling behind on their
way
to soccer practice
singing about the sunny side
of the street
your blood sings with them
blood is not of a violent
theme
not today
it's what keeps you alive
keeps you moving along
loving more
wild smile on your face as if you know
the damnest joke
a real good knee-slapper
a killer
of all solemn thoughts and
a promiser to
to be better, behavior and heart
a re-fertilized mind
from now on and ever
entering the city
the day smells of beach nights
lingering scent of sunscreen, sand, dark ***
vanilla cigarellos
the light turns green and you
step off the sidewalk
catching yourself in the
reflection of a skyscraper
emerging
from a busting, exploding crowd
looking like you always wished you would
a ballerina on-the- go
you are not a ballerina
but you whisper thanks and
keep the magic of today in your back pocket
like a paycheck
you've been owed
Jun 7, 2015
Jun 7, 2015 at 10:41 AM UTC
*try your damnest to not show fear.
If you do, they're going to eat you alive.
So you put on a brave face,
Trying to make others believe they don't affect you.
Trying show that you can rise above the torment.
But they see right through it.
They just let you make a fool of yourself.
Silently laughing at your pain.
Your agony.
Your brave face begins to crumble over time.
Leaving a tear stained face.
Leaving you exposed and
Vulnerable.
Why?
Because you didn't have the strength to go on.
Because you're tired of trying.*
Apr 5, 2013
Apr 5, 2013 at 12:37 AM UTC
People come and people go
The problem is when they leave
They're not very happy
Why is it I'm not much of a social person
I try my damnest to please everyone
But that in itself has never panned out
Should I give up on the social scene altogether
Making friends is hard to accomplish
I give of myself but they want more
It seems like they're not satisfied
I believe that if I stay true to myself
That in itself attracts others
But I find it difficult to open up completely
And share what's going on
Should I have to
I feel I have to keep some things to myself
Like they keep some things to themselves
It's all confusing
What the hell do I talk about in the fist place
Feb 13, 2016
Feb 13, 2016 at 5:09 AM UTC
.
Oh won't YE come (?)
by the
Old theater tonight
On the
**** headed street
Just you and me and the child there
•
Come
Won't you
Give yourself to tomorrow
And
Be it's seed (?)
Come
Come
I
Need you right now
I need you right here
Where
The years rush like a storm
And people disappear
Into sheer madness
And the god damnest of lies
And if you don't come
That child shall die
)//(
Soft the rain
The mist
Cleanses the mind
The street seems peaceful
The scene seems mild
( Just for awhile )
the loneliness
The
Moon dead in the sky
""
Come
I need you
To be with me tonight
.
Jan 24, 2016
Jan 24, 2016 at 9:09 PM UTC
I'm fighting tears
My older brother
Laying in a hospital bed
Infection on a heart valve
Doctors saying I dont care
He's states away
*** am I supposed to
Make a 25 year old man
Take his medicine
When he's too busy getting high
Trying to survive this world
***** of a mother
More friend and foe
Bundled into a sunk in face
And fat rolls buckling knees
You're ******* kidding me
If you think I'll let him die
I'll pay his way out here
Have him move in with me
Straighten out his life
Because I'd rather get buried first
It could happen
I could lose my brother
The guy that tried to **** me
When I was only two
The guy I dropped on his head
Because he decided to steal from me
Sure he's not the perfect person
Or the ideal roommate
But he's still my family
And I'll be ******
If I let him die
When the rest dont care about him
Sure he's a drug addict
Like that ***** that gave birth to us
So what that he has a tendency
To be a complete *******
But I'll try my damnest
To see that he lives longer than me
It could happen
And I'm too far to do a **** thing
If it happens
Two bodies will be buried
That woman who says she's a mother
And my brother
Feb 24, 2016
Feb 24, 2016 at 7:43 PM UTC
If this world is a game,
a challenge to the death.
I'm just another tribute and you're the same,
each of us competing to take the other's last breath.
Only one will win they say,
only one comes out alive.
I go knowingly into a bloodbath this day,
and I'll try my damnest to thrive.
But you're doing it too,
just trying to live.
From this evil we withdrew,
an alliance is all I can offer; all I can give.
Friendship sparks,
fates collide.
Upon this unknown path we must embark,
and defeat the others in stride.
The journey's at it's end,
but the rules the same.
Only one will be Victor; only one to glory asend,
so one more death to close the game.
Defiance wins,
no more a pawn in this charade.
We know what the consequences will be; what will happen,
even with one nightmare done; another has just been made.
We'll get to live and see another day,
but there are now far worse games to play.
Nov 16, 2014
Nov 16, 2014 at 12:46 AM UTC