Depression isn't a pretty girl with a flawless face crying
Depression isn't a bad day
Depression isn't grief from a loss of a loved one
Depression isn't a thing
Depression is the loss of something
Depression is the loss of happiness
Depression is where you lose yourself
and try to find yourself within your skin.

When you called me
I waited a second to answer
Anxiety shook my body to its core
In that second time shifted
That second turned into 5 seconds
Then into 30 seconds
By then the phone stopped ringing

I never knew what heartbreak was
I was naive when it came to love
But somehow my perspective shifted
I felt my heartbreak in those 30 seconds

The phone rang again

And I watched it’s blinking red lights-
Mock the tears streaming down my face

I backed away
The phone screamed with desperation
Its screams ridiculing my heart
Laughing at the cracks forming

Missed calls
Most people don’t know the true meaning behind the name
I do
They call them that because they are missed conversations
Missed hopes, missed second chances
They are able to make someone miss you

I do not answer his calls anymore
It hurts too much to give myself false hope
When he just wants friendship

I've got a lot of everything
and lots of things to do
then
I realise I am nothing
or even less
if I don't have you.