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  Feb 2018 Blossom
Jessy
I’m an imposter
I’m a phony
I’m faker than Barbie

I claim to be a perfectly fine teenager; I’m an imposter.
I say there is nothing wrong; I’m a phony.
I smile all the time; I’m faker than Barbie.

I'm just one big
l i e
Blossom Feb 2018
Listen

I know I'm not
What most would see to be sane

But you see
I don't see
How faking a love of romance and passion
And beautiful things

Can truly be so bad
If it's the only way he'll stay

Best Friend of my universe
The only person
I couldn't imagine a world without

When he laughed
And then nearly cried

"I don't love you anymore"

I saw the pools of hurt arise
I knew right then his words, all lies
And knew that this was my last

Chance

To keep him in my life
And as I'm selfishly afraid
Of being alone again
I took it

"I was afraid"
I swallow my self loathing away
"Because I love you"

The hope swells, he smiles wide
Laughing, he grabs my hands

"I knew you loved me"

Pang, I shut off my emotions
As he grasps my *******
And slobbers his lips on my own

Boom, my head beats in disgust
Goosebumps rising in panic
My every nerve ending wanting to run
I smile at him when he says

"Tell me you love me"

I feel bile rise, why do I do this?
Is flinging my clothes to the floor
As he leads me to my bed
The necessity to keep my last Friend?

****, why do I do this
Again and again?
Self destruction behavior, big surprise

Right?

But I swear I've never stooped so low
But I've never felt so alone
But I can't recall loving a man
But I've never rejected lust
But with him the touch is rough
But now I'm 3 months pregnant
But it's with a person I choose
But he thinks all this touching is normal
But I can't seem to ever say no

"I love you too"

I refuse to loose you my friend
Not ever again
No matter the cost
I miss friendship, innocent friendship in which you were you and I was me.
Blossom Feb 2018
Warmth against my flesh
Hold me in bed

Squeezing against my body
Kiss on my head

Embrace my cold figure
Things as they should be

I couldn't live without you
I love you, my hoodie
Blossom Feb 2018
One terrified question
Two visits with 'folks
Three trips to the movies
Four corny-*** jokes
Five rides to the mountains
Six parties all night
Seven tears over nothing
Eight reasons to fight

Nine years old when they met
Friends from the start
Ten lustrums they've remained
Telepathically heart to heart
Blossom Feb 2018
Caffeine in the form
Of delicious Starbucks
Grande Carmel Frapp

Farewell my love!

Sushi and tuna so moist
Wrapped in seaweed
Filleted with crab

I leave you for now!

Hot tubs and Saunas
My bubbling friend
Of flavorful, steamy warmth

Oh how I shall miss you!  

Don't, the doctor states
Can't, the internet reads
Want, my brain pleads

But I refrain, all for baby
The things I can't do are what I want to do now more than ever!
Blossom Feb 2018
Perfection
Remind me how
To Dance on cue
Shaking my hips
Eyes on you

Perfection
Show me the pen
How it glides on skin
The ink blot poetry
A tattoo of wind

Perfection
Sing me the notes
That birds join along to
A symphony of sound
Music- pure and true

Perfection
Shine your light
Upon my soul
Return your love
Make me whole
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