Listen
I know I'm not
What most would see to be sane
But you see
I don't see
How faking a love of romance and passion
And beautiful things
Can truly be so bad
If it's the only way he'll stay
Best Friend of my universe
The only person
I couldn't imagine a world without
When he laughed
And then nearly cried
"I don't love you anymore"
I saw the pools of hurt arise
I knew right then his words, all lies
And knew that this was my last
Chance
To keep him in my life
And as I'm selfishly afraid
Of being alone again
I took it
"I was afraid"
I swallow my self loathing away
"Because I love you"
The hope swells, he smiles wide
Laughing, he grabs my hands
"I knew you loved me"
Pang, I shut off my emotions
As he grasps my *******
And slobbers his lips on my own
Boom, my head beats in disgust
Goosebumps rising in panic
My every nerve ending wanting to run
I smile at him when he says
"Tell me you love me"
I feel bile rise, why do I do this?
Is flinging my clothes to the floor
As he leads me to my bed
The necessity to keep my last Friend?
****, why do I do this
Again and again?
Self destruction behavior, big surprise
Right?
But I swear I've never stooped so low
But I've never felt so alone
But I can't recall loving a man
But I've never rejected lust
But with him the touch is rough
But now I'm 3 months pregnant
But it's with a person I choose
But he thinks all this touching is normal
But I can't seem to ever say no
"I love you too"
I refuse to loose you my friend
Not ever again
No matter the cost
I miss friendship, innocent friendship in which you were you and I was me.