I honestly wouldn't mind
Getting into trouble with you
I wouldn't mind hugging you forever
I wouldn't mind sharing my house with you
I wouldn't mind sharing my bed with you
Just so I could get your sleepy cuddles every night
Just so I could feel you with me
I honestly wouldn't mind
Doing the stupidest things with you
I wouldn't mind walking 2 hours for food
in the middle of the night with you
I wouldn't mind getting your grumpy side
I honestly wouldn't mind at all
Because all this means having you here
with me
and that's all I want

Getting a phone call from a friend
She's choking on her words
All she's feeling is
pain, hurt, confusion
she doesn't know what to do
The happy bubbly girl you know
Calls you reaching out to you
for help
It's hard to hold back the tears yourself
But you have to stay strong for her sake
Talk to her don't stop
Don't leave the call
Until she feels okay again
I'm always here for you
Anytime
At all
Just ask

Re reading my old poems
written about you
and choking on my words
because I need to stop
and smile to myself
Feels my heart beating a bit faster
and feeling all the emotions towards you
From all our moments
and memories
in one hit
I can't even speak
outloud
Its hard to even speak
The feelings are real
Do you love me too
Because God did I love you

Why does this have to happen?
The word itself scares me
I can't even say it aloud
without feeling weird
without feeling awkward about it
Here I go
Depression
I am Depressed
yet again
Somehow it never seems to leave you
Its never left me anyway
I cant simply sit in a room
Feeling sad
Depressed
Fighting back that old feeling
Fighting back that old urge
To hurt myself
It's hard
I could just do it
No one would know
No one would ever notice
It takes away the pain
Just for a little while
What's the simplest way to end it
What hurts the least
I can't even enjoy being with my best friend anymore
I cant fully laugh without feeling pain
I can't smile without feeling hurt
I've sat in class almost in tears so many times
Because I just cant hold it back
I can't keep myself together for long
Without breaking down
It's hard
I want it to end
I want him
But he seems so far
True genuine happiness seems so out of reach

Bom Bom
Bom Bom
Bom Bom
Do you hear that?

That's the sound of my heart beating.

Bom Bom
Bom Bom
Bom Bom
Do you hear that?
That's the sound of your heart beating.

It was first day of October. I was wearing my blue sweater,
You know the one I bought at Dillard's? The one with a
double-knitted hem and holes in the ends of the sleeves
that I could poke my thumbs through
when it was cold but I didn't feel like wearing gloves?
It was the same sweater you said made my eyes look
like reflections of the stars on the ocean.
You promised to love me forever that night. . .
and boy
did you
ever.

It was the first day of December this time. I was wearing
my blue sweater, you know the one I bought at Dillard's?
The one with a double-knitted hem and holes in the ends of the sleeves that I could poke my thumbs through when it was cold I
didn't feel like wearing gloves?
It was the same sweater you said made my eyes look like
reflections of the stars on the ocean.
I told you I was three weeks late.
You told me it was fate.
You promised to love me forever that night. . .
and boy
did you
ever!

It was the first day of May. I was wearing my blue sweater,
although this time the double-stitched hem was worn
and the strength of each thread tested as they were pulled
tight against my growing belly. You know one.
The same one I bought at Dillard's?
The one with holes in the ends of the sleeves that I
could poke my thumbs through when it was cold but
I didn't feel like wearing gloves?
It was the same sweater you said made my eyes look like
reflections of the stars on the ocean.

The SAME sweater you RIPPED off my body
as you shoved me to the floor,
calling me a *****,
telling me
you didn't love me
anymore.

Bom Bom
Bom Bom
Bom Bom
Do you hear that? That's the sound of my heart beating.

Bom Bom
Bom Bom
Bom Bom
Do you hear that? That's the sound of your heart beating.



Do you hear that? Of course you don't.
That's the silence of my womb because you
RIPPED OFF MY SWEATER.

I'm sorry
For feeling like this
I'm sorry for having a loving heart
I'm sorry
I'm sorry you're so easy to love
I'm sorry you're so easy to fall for
I'm sorry
I'm so sorry for falling for you
I'm so sorry for wanting you how you don't want me
I'm sorry

Why are you so protective of me
Why do you have to make sure I'm okay all the time
Why do you hug me like you do
Why did you hold my hand that time
I was fine just holding onto your arm
Why did you send me a heart that time
Why do you always try prank me
Why do you always look at me
Why did you let me sleep on your chest that time
Why did you play with my hair and hold onto me tight while we were sleeping
Why do you care so much for me
Why do you do all of this
Then say you don't feel the same to people
But then your best friends want us to be together
Same with your sister
I'm so confused
Do you love me or not
Because all your doing
Is leaving me here
Alone
Feeling confused
Hurt
When you said you could never hurt me
You are right now