She was wild like skinny dipping at midnight, stars watching overhead and falling in love with moonlight. The way it lay upon her skin made the ocean envious of her depths within and sometimes between us. She was my sister, not in blood but in orbit. A Venus to my Earth, forged from the same collapsing star and if the universe was in fact to be infinite then this moment would happen again, and again, and again an immeasurable number of times. I found comfort in this thought, knowing though our existence was meaningless, it was still full of feeling, and this feeling, right now, it insisted on existing forever.

I'm finally free from your torture
Released from your emotional roller coaster
Your emotional chains that restrained me
Yet you had no idea you had done it
You don't know what it was like...

Every second was an ache
Every breath I had was for you
Every piece of me needed you
I survived off of the idea of you
Yet you were nowhere within miles
Every song on the radio teased me
I always thought you may be thinking of me
You don't know what it was like...

Literally every fiber in my being called your name
Every street sign, every dream..
It was unbearable. It was unfathomable.

All I wanted was to escape but I didn't know how
All I wanted was you, but I didn't really want you
I just wanted you to love me
The way you promised you would
The way I imagined it could be
The way I had always read about as a little girl
The way they showed me it should be in the movies
The way you swore it could be...

And even though I forgave you, I still craved you
In this way...
For the longest time
What felt like years in your restraints
I wasted so much time wrapped up in you.
You were impossible to get over

But I can't explain just how good it feels to have my mind back
To feel my soul again
With the freedom to love
How great it feels to own my life back!

Till you can’t walk
Till you are sore,
Yet still smiling
from the thrilling experience,
Till you are sweating pleasure
from every pore.
Till your breath murmurs
my first name with every inhale
Till my voice is the only sound
your ears need to hear.

i would
rest my head on your breast
and listen
Enjoy the sweet tunes composed by
every noted word you harmonize

Tales of your life stories before they became entwined with mine
Narratives about your dreams
About who breaks your glassy heart
And what tickles your eye-ducts
into opening a flood of tears.

an inner world of wishes
she deserves beautiful things,
The Nubian Queen,
Sunflower Child.

~ New-Black-SoUl #NBS

Your silence had me running
Fearing I may find an abandoned apartment when I reached your address.
Flashing images of our nights in your kitchen,
Our passionate moments on your counters and against your furnishings,
Our bare feet caressing each other,
Our ideas floating through the air,
Your hands holding me so tight,
The way you love to make me laugh and play your little games with my mind like children,
Your playful touch across my skin,
Your eyes as you watch me gaze off into that place that I often visit in my mind. But I still see you....
I was afraid to find you gone

I reached your doorstep
My hair drenched from the rain
My breath heavy
My nose wet and cold,
Hands shaking, finding the most difficulty knocking on your door
Which sounded more like pounding...
Hardly moments went by and you opened.
I leaped into your arms and wept
You stood there, warm as I had ever felt,
Stronger than I ever realized I admired so much
You asked about my troubles and I could not speak...
I had so much courage to run here and beg you to stay,
Convince you that I need you with me,
I thought of scenarios to try and make you believe that leaving would be the worst mistake...
But now that I face you, I am weak. I am voiceless.
I crave to never let you go and tell you how much I want you here, but I can't.
I know that you leaving means a better life for yourself
And that holding you back would be the most selfish act,
And that you would never forgive me for it.
But most of all, I fear that if I confessed all of my troubled mind to you- you would still decide to leave. And in facing that, I may just come apart and never recover.