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Vanessa Sep 2014
I emptied an entire tank of gas driving on roads I've already taken.
Each time around looked different, Each time around even felt different. Like the seasons, one make you feel something unique from the other.
You'd think I learn my lesson by now,
Each new year my clock resets and I can start again.
Back in the place where I began with you.
I mean rally what else can I do?
I never understood how to live without you.
Vanessa Sep 2014
*
I was lying when I mentioned that I didn’t care,
That pathetic giggle I smugly used to cover it up did not fool anyone.

The truth is that it breaks my heart,
It saddens me to dream about you so often.

I do my best to remember who you are today,
I find myself falling in love with who you used to be.

The past is holding onto my heart for dear life,
Clawing at my stomach and blocking my airways,
Grinning while I beg to breathe.
Vanessa Aug 2014
I can’t seem to figure it out.
I will sit here for the rest of my life.
I’m okay with hitting my head of a wall
resilient until I figure it out.

Patience, a virtue from what I hear.
maybe the key ingredient.
But, how long can I wait?
How long until there is some salvation?

I want to see your smile one more time,
Not in a photo.
I want to see your smile right in front me,
So close that I can touch it
So I can run my fingers across every groove inside your lips.

I look at you with desperate eyes
but you see past them.
You spit in distaste and hate,
As if I am nothing,
As if I had never held any relevance to your life.
Vanessa Aug 2014
You remind me of an endless Summers.
Summers that last a lifetime.
The sky could be filled with clouds continuously spilling rain,
Our eyes meet and you are the sunshine,
maybe brighter.
Together, a rainbow seen after the storm.
Blending colors into each other,
Like us in the dead of the night under sheets and covers.
Everything is complimented so beautifully.
Friends standing and admiring the beauty of rainbows,
Similar to the ways they admired us.
How could one forget hearing how perfect something is?

Although today, that feels like forever ago,
It’s still etched in my brain so vivid like it was yesterday.
I watched the storm roll in,
I watched the clouds cover the sun in your eyes,
And I saw the rainbow fade
Not even Mother Nature could stop that hurricane.
Vanessa Aug 2014
I had that dream again.
The one that leaves me wishing I could sleep forever.
For in my dream you are mine,
In my dream you are kind.
When you say goodbye,
I don't worry when the next time your hand will be in mine.
For I know the constant of your heart will keep me sound.

In this dream.
The that keeps my eyes from drying
You look at me the way I always remembered,
Your precious face melted my heart
While your eyes softened and you whispered you missed me.
I was undoubtedly assured this young love would be forever.
The kind of love that grows old and keeps the heart young.
The kind that makes your stomach sick with hope.

What a heart wrenching feeling it is to wake up from such bliss.
Dragging this heavy heart from its bed, I smiled and let the sun dry my tears.
Vanessa Jul 2014
I wonder what its like to be you
You make forgetting look so easy,
Is it that easy?
Its hard for me.
Its not easy to forget.
Not for me at least.

The past two years really never happened,
It was all a series of dreams I dreamt.
I slept a whole two years,
Finally waking up to find myself in love.
I had fallen in love with someone who only existed in my dreams.

Its been sometime since I woke up from my sleep.
I’m finding you still haunt me.
I only wish to fall asleep again,
I only wish to dream those dreams again.
Vanessa Jul 2014
You said, "it's all about the wordplay."
I'm sorry that you couldn't be my remedy.
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