Have you ever felt like
all you wanted to do was listen to music
yet your head hurt

and the world would spin and spin
but all you wanted was to stand still

and the sun didn't shine on a day where you wanted to be blinded

And the branch didn't break
when you tried to die from the aches of life
so you had
had to let go.

Have you ever felt like the chocolate is never just right.
Either too milky or too strong, never balanced out.
Have you ever forgot to feed your pet,
remembered, and still layed in bed?

Because I, I,
understand it all
but life just isnt easy like that
for life
doesn't just give you the lemons,
it makes you find them
and work to
make
the lemonade.

I sometimes wish I was dead.  
Want to be dead.  
But then I think of you.
6 feet underground
Not feeling happiness anymore.  
Was it worth it?  
Did it make you feel better?  
Do you miss me as much as I miss you?

Brain, brain go away
Don't want to listen one more day
Already lonely and afraid
Feel insecure and full of shame

Brain, brain don't act this way
You're always angry; Filled with hate
You know we're joined; Can't separate
Yourself your punching in the face

Brain, brain what can I say
To make it so you see things straight
Don't know how much more I can take
Of constant warring and debate

Brain, brain it's getting late
This journey's not some endless race
Life's flying by and at this pace
Forget a win; Not gonna place

Brain, brain let's medicate
I'll feed you drugs and we'll sedate
The only way to mitigate
Discrepancies we generate

Brain, brain we sadly waste
This outcome feels like it was fate
But never was there a sealed date
Fulfilling what we self-create

Brain, brain so much we faced
Success so close could almost taste
Instead our tail we always chased
We'll die alone sad and disgraced

A stiff in the corner
A stiff in a pew
Watch the parade
Formality on cue

A choreographed dance
From station to station
First to the church
Then dirt's destination

Like hospital corners
Clean little lines
Sanitized process
Dressed to the nines

Death can rub off
As every ghost knows
A sickness to catch
It seeps in your clothes

Orderly duty
Sterilizing the end
Except for our thoughts
Would never offend

The cliquing and pooling
People masking their eyes
The family alone
Will look to the cries

A lifetime of sharing
With nothing to say
Thoughts sprint to the bar
To silently pray

Bagpipes have started
It’s time to decide
Pay some respects
Or silently hide

Weak at the wall
Will flies to the door
Avoids every handshake
Just looks at the floor          

Dotting the “i”
Think neat tidy passing
A check box is ticked
Life’s not very lasting

A stiff well-dressed drink
A stiff well-dressed friend
Worth more than a nod
On cowards choice wend


© 2019 MJL