Look
Im scared too
We didn’t plan for this
Us
We assumed to wander
But now I cant help but wonder
What ******* chances these are
For you to pop out from the crowd
For you to pick up your phone
For you to pick me.
I could of stayed home that night.
And none of this would be the same.
We could of met at any point.
In the past, too early to be ourselves.
In the future, too late for our eyes to catch sight.

What I’m trying to say is that the universe put pieces in place for us to meet when we did
Because if we didn’t, would we/you/I still be here today?
We offer each other safety and happiness in abundance like hugs.
And passion like popping champagne.
And right now
Right ******* now
The universe is testing us.
It gave us these pieces and started the puzzle and now we have to finish it.
Because everything that is worth while is worth fighting for.
While we wait for weather to clear and sun to shine through,
Enjoy the rain clouds, because next time they come along, we’ll be in sunlight of our own.
Next time the rain comes life will have only just begun
Because like water to a plant those clouds bring me life and hope that one day
One day.
That house will exist.
And sure, we didn’t plan to have this at this time.
But **** it.
When did things ever go to plan?


So.
It’s us against the world.
I’m holding your hand until the day you let me go but I’m praying that day will never come.
So maybe I am scared, but I’m not worried.
Scared because I can’t see the future;
But not worried because I can imagine it.

Let’s write our own fairy tale.

I'm sorry to say.
I cut again today.

I had a mocha today.
My lips devoid of yours needed comfort from what is to be our taste without you.
I need those monday mocha kisses
So i improvised
It wasnt enough.

i see in pictures
no really, real pictures.
i still remember what the piazza looks like in my family's home town
its been 7 years.
i remember the old church next to it where they got married
i remember the stained glass windows along the walls
i remember the coffee shop across from the street that served espressos in tiny ornamental cups
i see it all.

7 years on and now i see you
i see you in that first red dress.
that first night with locks of hair that made me melt into the floor.
i see you in a dark cinema where i took the best risk of my life
where everything changed and now months later i see you
in a dress walking down the staircase
like an angel walking down from heaven.
i see you in my bed surrounded by the darkness of the night
your breath on me heavy with mine.
lost without a care.
i see you. by my side.
and i cant help but think how lucky i am.

as i write i view each moment like a photograph in my mind, some are fuzzy and unfocused but some are as clear as sunshine.
bright like the sunshine you are to me.

but i know, things are hard.
someone is going around stealing photos.
stealing images.
but we're going to take them back.

because i havent only seen and see now.
i can see what the future holds.
i can see the dew on the winter window and our faces pierced with sunlight.
i can see the nervousness of our first days into a new uni or work
and see the moment we reconvene at the end of the day to tell each other all about it
on the grassed steps of a sunken garden staircase holding hands
to birds chirping. sun shining or clouds pouring.
i can see us holding cups of tea watching ****** netflix shows
talking about anything everything
ill tell you the secrets of the universe as ill discover them
and later in the night,
we'll discover the secrets of our own hearts and souls.
between sheets. where we fall asleep to the sound of our own heartbeats
steady
steady.

i can see all of it.
clear as day even on a rainy night that this time may be to us.
to you.
you.
you did this to me.
you changed everything.
i can see all of it.
the future we could have with some time and hard work
with some love.
without letting anyone stand in our way.
because baby I'm ready to fall in love with you again and again
every single day because
i can see the future sometimes.
because i see in pictures.
no really, real pictures.
real pictures with real people like me
and you.
and us.

I see you in moments
I see you kissing in the rain
I see you holding my hand on the train
I see you listening to my rants
I see you talking back to me
Talking and talking
Please don't stop talking
Your voice, like all of you, is beautiful.

I see you waking up next to me
I see you;us in bed, giving pleasure in it's most pure form
I see you;us in cute cafes sharing mocha kisses to some lousy music
I see you crying
I see you laughing
I see you feeling

I see you in every single way there is
I see you in every way I imagined the perfect girl to be, and here you are.
Realized. Alive.

I see you;us out on a country road, singing poorly to overplayed radio songs
I see you;us taking in views everywhere
I see you everywhere
In every flower pedal
In every grey cloud or
In every blue sky
I see you looking back up at me through the reflection made in my coffee mug
Because the warmth and comfort it provides reminds me of you.
Every little cup of tea.
Every little thing
Little you.

And so I see you in every moment there is.
Because you are everything I could of hoped for and more.

I see you with me
And for that, I smile.

i walked into the room tea in hand
to see you in my sheets
wearing my shirt because it "smells like comfort"
i cannot express how i felt in that moment
in similes i can try
its as if the horizon of ideas in my mind had a sun setting across it
as if beauty in its most pure and natural form laid out in-front of me
mother nature sending beams of orange yellow purple light across
my minds sky
and there you lie.
as peaceful as soft water falls out in the wild
your wild hair fell onto my pillows like golden silk

comfortable.

this i haven't felt before.
to be in complete awe at the sight of someone who deserves nothing but the best in all the little things in this big world
little like bedsheets and cold cups of tea
little like hands gliding up and down your soft skin
little like little naps before having to rush off back to "home"
i wish you didnt have to rush off.
because falling asleep with you in my arms is a sight i can get used to.

we had a night filled with ecstasy to bliss to peacefulness.
here's to many more

All i have to say is

You're my sunshine, even when you're brain is filled with rain clouds.
You're my warmth
My heart
My life even when you feel like yours is worthless.
My everything.
I want to show you
Show you so much
Show you that past these grey skies and night cries there's so much more.
I don't stop the thoughts of the future anymore
I let them come.
Because they prove to me that we can be so much.
And sure its terrifying, but i wouldnt have it any other way
I wouldnt have anyone else
I wouldn't be going from one mindless hook up to the next
I'd be with you.
I'd go to sleep happy knowing i found the one for me.
Thats why I'm telling you
You're going to be here tomorrow.
Not only for yourself, but for us too.
Because God knows i need my winter girl.
And i know deep down in you, you want that day too.
That day of soft thunder with love in sheets
Lame banana pancakes dancing to forgotten love songs.
Be here tomorrow for those, because I'm not giving up on that vision
I'm not giving up on you.
On us.
So in return, all I ask is you don't give up on yourself.

let me lay down some facts

fact is; the minute before i meet you i still get butterflies.
every photo of you that you send makes the whole world quiet
you made me pick up my guitar again
you made want to pick up the microphone again
the violin
to sit down at the piano and learn.
you made me want to be better not only for myself, but for you.

fact is; the smell of your hair can send me to sleep
the sight of your eyes can make the floor seem steep
i'm falling.
the touch from your hands set me on fire
the taste from your lips like sweet oxygen brings me back to life
as if for the moments before, i wasnt really alive.
the sound of your voice makes everyone else's fade away...

fact is; your laugh
oh my dear girl your laugh....
makes me smile like angels are singing.
and your cry
makes my arms automatically fall open
aching for you to be within them
because darling within them
no one can hurt you
no one can touch you
and everything is okay.

fact is; you taught me that i can trust again
you taught me what making love means
truly means.
because in the winter we learnt what it means together
and i wouldn't of had it any other way.

fact is; i cant stand the thought of you being hurt.
so i ask when i seem too persistent or annoying when asking you
it's only because i care.

fact is; when it feels like no ones out there
when it feels like the world is too big to handle
i promise you i'm still here
i promise you i'll hold your hand
i promise you that everything will be alright
because i care.
because i will do anything to make sure you're safe.

fact is;

...you're the first and last thing i think about in the day.
if my pillows could read minds
my bedsheets would be covered in your name.

fact is;

I love you.


and i just thought maybe you needed reminding of that.

we say we don't like talking about the future
and that's fine
but baby you told me a dream of yours in a winter wonderland
of our own
and maybe just maybe
the future doesn't seem so bleak