Blind sided

Literally
In the blink of an eye
In the whisper of one word

You can lose everything
Without seeing it coming

With or without a warning sign
Somebody can leave you  behind

But thats the risk we take

Is it worth the break?

She's desired by millions
But acquired by losers
She's survived those losers
But she still has bruisers
Reckless in who she chooses
Stubborn and pain oozes
From the greatness that she callously
Disregards
For she is broken in the heart

Closure
I deleted our chat
Cause I was mad
Then when I sobered up
I wanted it back
I wanted you back
I started a new
In the middle of the night
Only a few
Words by my side
Said I was sorry
You said you'll see
If you could forgive me
Then you told me about
You beating your meat
And sadly it was depressing
Now we're done again
And I can't delete
Cause I hold it dear
To reality
And I wanna weep
But I'm not a creep
Thanks so much
for everything you've done
This 2 am chat
Is where my clarity begun
Closure
Now I know ya
And it's over
Game over
Closure x

I sit in the middle
Because its symbolic
It symbolizes my place in the world
I sit in the middle
Not just to extract myself
But to make me believe im different
I sit in the middle
Because im sick of the window seat
Sick of feeling locked in
I sit in the middle
Because you feel the sun
But you dont have to shut your eye
I sit in the middle
Because i can hear the crowds
But not enough to care
I sit in the middle
Because it makes me feel centred Like theres some sort of control
I sit in the middle
Because if i rock someone will be by my side
Hopefully curb my fall
I sit in the middle
And pretend like i dont need anyone
When the harsh reality is
I sit in the middle
Because i dont know where im going But i have to move cause the light is green
I sit in the middle
Because it shelters me
From the "world"
I sit in the middle
Because I'm afraid, I'm lost
But they say youre never so far gone that you cant find your way back
I sit in the middle
Because no one can hurt you
When you hide who you really are
I sit in the middle
Cause im selfish
Yet somehow its an improvement
Of who i used to be

I sit in the middle
Because its where i feel in control

It feels good to feel this way again
It feels good to regret the things I say
It feels good to get ignored
It feels good to be assured
You're not relevant enough
So if i don't reply don't fuss
It feels good to find someone
Who even for a second
Seemed just right
Now the seconds over and its goodbye
It feels good to want to cry
It feels good to not know why

It feels good to feel this way again
And no I'll never be the same again
It feels good to laugh
Even if its at one self
It feels good to try
But worse when shot down

It felt good to feel this way again
And no I'll never be the same again
I'll never trust like i used to again
I'll never love like i used to again

I blame the boys who are allowed to play with our hearts
Dropping it on the floor breaking it into parts
I blame our hearts for being porcelain
And our fathers for not stayin'

But it felt good to feel that low again
Now i know i'll never feel again

Sent you a letter
Saying just how I feel
Never knew anything more real

I've been telling you more
I've been telling you less
I've been getting depressed
Tears are useless

Nobody knows
Nobody understands
Nobody cares
Not even you
Nobody knows
Nobody understands
Nobody cares
Except Johnny Jack James

Find the highest mountain
And climb it on my own
Find the perfect story to let the crickets know

It's been good and loved
Partially alone partially alone
It's been true to one love
Partially alone dancing on my own

Found the lowest point now
Dancing all alone
No one really hears you
Shouting out your side
Until the day goodbye
And everyone's on your side

Plummeting towards the ground
Few moments of peace is found
Looking at the clouds

Feel myself letting go
Of everything around
Moments of peace is found
Until the last aching sound

Moments of peach is found
Eternity of peace is found

Why it's easier to cling to what you know
Well what you think you know
To let it go always wondering what could've been
I've been a-sin
I'm not proud
But I've grown thick of it
Lies were thin
And love won't win
I love you still
So you win

Its so strange
How he wasn't what i wanted
But he became all that i ever wanted

He saw a side of me the whole world was yet to see
He had a part of me that i barely knew was there

He made me feel alive
And as if he cared
He left me hanging
Holding on
But there was never any more

Just when I'm finally over him
He reappears again
and makes me want him again
He's out there taunting me again
Making me feel childish til the end
He's out there haunting me again
Making me glad that it all end

But then I'm lonely all again
Wanting him to hold me all again
I mean i pretend the others make me happy
But it just makes me feel ******

I never thought i'd hear from him again
And when I did
Got tingles again
The way he talks to me
With that control
And how he tries to show me the world
But he was only twenty six years old

He will never do anything the way you like
Do you argue or do you just not fight
He will never say the thing that's right
Do you move on or just not fight
He will never really know what it feels like
Do run away or do you stay and fight
He will never do everything right
Do run along or wait and find out

He will never do anything the way you like
Do you tell him that or just leave tonight

You are complex
You are not all you seem to be
I thought I knew you
But you're a mystery to me

You are complex
You have layers and layers of truths
That I cannot seem to get through
You are a mystery to me

You are complex
I've spent hundreds of days
Trying to figure you out
But you hide so well
You are a mystery to me
You are complex
But I digress
Maybe that is your simplicity
That's my final guess
You are complex
And that is how I rest