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 Sep 2018 Cam
sydney
bittersweet
 Sep 2018 Cam
sydney
i laugh at the irony
that love broke my heart.
 Sep 2018 Cam
sydney
breathe
 Sep 2018 Cam
sydney
we are all
a little broken
and there will be
moments in life
that make all the
heartache
worth having,
because pain
and suffering
make the outcome
that much more
of an accomplishment
 Sep 2018 Cam
Ismail Nasution
Under the tree of lights
We spoke to our hearts
About the truth
And all the unspoken

Under the tree of lights
We sat upon our hopes
May them be the stars
That will shine
On your darkest night
 Sep 2018 Cam
Ismail Nasution
You've been there, sitting
quietly, wondering why
that time went away
 Sep 2018 Cam
Ismail Nasution
I can't remember
Whether it's love or leave
That hurts the most
 Aug 2018 Cam
Beaux
Questions
 Aug 2018 Cam
Beaux
Questions carry in the wind
asking for a simple explanation
for what's holding me down.
I don't have one.

How do I tell them
that I've lost all motivation,
that I don't feel anything anymore,
that I'm just numb,
that scars line my arms,
that I'm desperate to feel anything
even if it's pain?

How do I explain
that in a room full of people
I still feel alone,
that a friendly face
no longer feels friendly,
that I'm alone on a boat
drifting through an endless sea?

How do I say to them
that everything has lost meaning,
that there isn't a shred of joy in me,
that everything I do feels mundane,
that I'm on autopilot,
that I'm just going through the motions?

How do I face my little sister
and say to her
that I want to leave her behind,
that she'll be on her own,
that she won't be able to come to me,
that she'll no longer have me
to comfort her,
that I won't be there?

How do I look my mother in the eye
and tell her that the child she brought
into this world is desperate for a
way out of it?

Questions carry on the wind
asking for a simple explanation
for what's holding me down.
7/17/18
 Aug 2018 Cam
Beaux
If I die in a school shooting
I'll never go home again.
My room will sit unused,
A capsule frozen in time,
A snapshot of how I was.

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never see my dog again.
She will sit at the front door
Waiting for me and wondering,
Why I never came home.

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never graduate from high school.
My yearbooks will sit stacked
Stopped short of their goal,
Missing years that should have been.

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never see my mom again.
She will sit distraught,
Planning a funeral
For a child taken from her.

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never see my friends again.
They'll sit together, missing me.
One empty seat among them,
A constant reminder of their loss.

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never see my little sister again.
She will sit through high school
Knowing I can't guide her through,
That she has to figure it out alone.

If I die in a school shooting
My school will be stained.
Pools of students lives will sit,
Blood tattoos on the brick structures,
Marks of death ground into it.

If I die in a school shooting
Everyone will wear black.
They'll send their thoughts and prayers
To a town marred by death,
Forever to be the home of a shooting.

If I die in a school shooting
Will the world change?
Or will I become one of hundreds  
Of kids who have to die?
What will it take?

If things continue this way
Children will have to live in fear.
They'll look over their shoulders
Always worried and wondering,
If they'll die in a school shooting.
The state of Florida is now home to the two most deadly mass shootings in American history. Pulse Nightclub was attacked in my city, I have friends who attend Marjory Stoneman Douglas in Parkland. My little sister often fears going to school. I'm afraid to graduate and leave her. I want to be able to protect her if something happens. I hate that we have a reason to be afraid... That it's reasonable to have these fears. I hate it so f*cking much.
 Aug 2018 Cam
Hunter Mars
My dad gets mad when I'm sad.

He frowns at my tears, he doesn't understand my fears.

"It's alright," he'll say, "tomorrow is another day."

My worries have me reeling, can't share how I'm feeling.

There's a flood rising from inside, though it hurts I tame the tide.

"Don't be afraid, my light, I promise things will soon get right."

I don't believe what I'm told, I choose to face the unknown alone and cold.

Still, I smile and with him agree, because of all things he need not worry about me.

So,

At last I welcome his warm embrace, I find the demons here don't give chase.
x.x H. Mars
(I wrote this for me, Dad)
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