Questions carry in the wind asking for a simple explanation for what's holding me down. I don't have one.
How do I tell them that I've lost all motivation, that I don't feel anything anymore, that I'm just numb, that scars line my arms, that I'm desperate to feel anything even if it's pain?
How do I explain that in a room full of people I still feel alone, that a friendly face no longer feels friendly, that I'm alone on a boat drifting through an endless sea?
How do I say to them that everything has lost meaning, that there isn't a shred of joy in me, that everything I do feels mundane, that I'm on autopilot, that I'm just going through the motions?
How do I face my little sister and say to her that I want to leave her behind, that she'll be on her own, that she won't be able to come to me, that she'll no longer have me to comfort her, that I won't be there?
How do I look my mother in the eye and tell her that the child she brought into this world is desperate for a way out of it?
Questions carry on the wind asking for a simple explanation for what's holding me down.