waking up alone
going to bed by myself
**just being alone

I could breed something, baby.
I could breed something hateful and disparaging.
But I rather not, tonight.
Tonight, I want to talk about the beauty.
Even if it keeps my keys wet,
I'll speak of it and get it out of my system.

I loved waking up next to you, holding you tight
and reminding you that you always had a big spoon,
even though deep down, I wished I was the little one.

I loved getting you presents I know you'd adore,
because it just reassured me I can still make you curve your lips
and be gifted by you.

I loved cooking you food you enjoy,
your stomach is an extension of your heart,
and boy, did I keep it warm.

I love how much I loved you.
I'll admire this and embrace the loss.
Feel the sweetness soothe my sores.

*One day it won't hurt so beautifully anymore,
and this will be the child I forgot how to adore.

There are those days you can truly hold onto the fact that
your minor acts of kindness are nothing extraordinary.
Actually, you could just sit in the mirror and realize
that you are over-applauded for little effort.
But like hell you won't accept the praise.
Like hell you will try to improve.
Why even raise the standard?
They adore it just as it is.
Half-baked *******
Set your bars
low enough
you could
only go
up.