She's too passionate
and oversensitive
for this messy world -
She doesn't fit-in,
so she tries to stay out.

It's a constant
tug-of-war battle
between her fragile heart
and her delicate mind.
She can't help but feel too much -
peace of mind
is all that she ponders about.

She is gentle,
empathetic and intelligent,
but vulnerable -
she was born this way,

She has relived
this same hopeless feeling
every single blessed day.

She is an overthinker -
always reflecting,
always pensive...

Full of genuine love,
whilst drained by such pain;
she is beautifully oversensitive.

She's always lonely
amongst a crowd,

whilst completely lost
deep inside the belly
of the same-old dark cloud.

She's a beautiful, beautiful mess...

She gives her entirety--nothing less!

By Lady R.F. (C) 2017

I give up on asking for your forgiveness
If you'll just make me feel less and less
You don't deserve such kindness
You should not drag me into your mess

I'm sorry I lost my patience
That I awoken and came to my senses
That between you and I
I'm the one who is to die

From all of your stupid lies
Lies I believed and relied
I'm such an idiot I got blind
from my love and ignored my mind

I should have been wiser
I should have been smarter
I should have known you're a player
I should have known you're a gamer

You kept on blaming all of it to me
You kept on saying it was me
You kept on making me believe I am the problem
You kept on lying to me now it's proven

It wasn't me who's at fault
It's you! You are the ****
Now you can't deceive me like the old times
I'm now awake and back to my ******* senses

Have you ever?
Ever imagined yourself six feet under,
With no light coming from the outside,
With nothing but soil around your last ride,

You saw it coming,
You knew it will be the same ending,
For you, for I, them, him and her,
There's no escape even if you tried harder,

You wasted a day, a month, a year,
Not doing the thing you wanted forever,
Now you regret not doing what might have made you happier,
What might have made you live greater, healthier, longer,

You once have your time in your hands,
But you toyed it uselessly in your palms,
And realizing all of these makes you want to go back,
In that particular time when you still have all the lux,

Luxury to live, laugh and love,
To be happy, lonely and wise,
You made a fool out of yourself,
Spending all you have into a hell disguised as heaven,

Maybe it's true, maybe, maybe what they say is true,
Everything comes flashing back before everything ended for you,
The only happy memories you made, people you loved and hurt,
The people you did not forgave, the people you should have mended.

This.
This is the life before death,
The life I don't want you to meet,
The life, the life you shouldn't kiss.

Drunk state
Sober mind
Twisted tongue
Honest words

Stumbling and rambling
Unfiltered sentences
Stuttering mess
Confessions of true emotions

How I love the drunk state
It's just me and my honesty
My lips taking in liquids
My lips spitting out true feelings

There's no don'ts
There's no what ifs
There's no hesitations
There's no taking back

There's no limit
On what should I say
On what can I say
On what I must say

I just wanna be drunk
Drunk to say things
Drunk to tell you this
Drunk till I fell asleep

While they are all travelling
I am here stuck in my own daydream
In places they have never been
In a paradise only my eyes have seen

I've been in a lot of places
I even travelled the universe
I've travelled to the future and past
I've slowed down the time from being fast

I met the people I always admire
We all hugged as we smile
They gave me advice on how to live life
They told me how should I fight

My sweet little paradise
The reason why I still try
To continue my journey in this mad world
To accept whatever tomorrow is up for.

She never really get to tell what she wanted to
No one wants to hear the rants of the girl who stares at the moon
People are scared to break her walls to see the other side
Little did they know she's more scared if they did see what's inside

Before she even speak they already covered their ears
Before she even walked they already pried her off their ways
Before she even see they already blinded her eyes
Before she even, before she even

Tug, tug, tug, there's the court's order
She is sentenced to be imprisoned in her own border
With nothing but herself which is already bare
With nothing but glares, with no one to care

The crowd is yelling, chanting, screaming in joy
Pumping fists in the air, happy like they had their favorite toy
They judged her already, decided not to hear her out
Decided not to give her chance, decided not to shed her some light

The court's order from those who thinks they are in power
The court's order for those who believes it can save them from danger
The court's order to those innocent people who's the true victim of ******
The court's order which no one can oppose, everyone fears

I don't know what I've done,
but it's come back.

I thought I've escaped,
but I'm still here.

Why?

I wish I could run,
run away from all these feelings,
but I can't.

I thought that I've hardened,
that I could take it on again,
but I can't.

I feel so
empty.

I feel so empty
that I want to cry,
but I can't.

I feel so hollow in side,
that if someone knocked on me,
you'd hear a drumming sound inside.

I'm not sure if I can go through this again,
the first time nearly broke my will to live,
I don't know what to do this time.

I just have to hope for the best.