Lined up at drug store
Guy in front buying chainsaw
Fear, "Instead of meds?"

One of my favourite things about poetry is how it can make pain and suffering sound so beautiful. The downside is that this also makes people forget about what is really going on and oblivious to how much hurt there is in the world. They become blinded by the light and forget about the dark. For instance when people comment on how beautiful poetry is, I don't think they realize how broken the writer is, I don't think they realize how broken I am.
I mean, I know we were never really in love - but man, we could have been.

I don't want there to be a day where I have to read a speech at my best friend's funeral because she commited suicide.

I don't want to have to say how cruel and horrid the world is to destroy such an amazing and innocent person.

I don't want to watch her happiness wipe away from her face as sadness and darkness plagues her heart.

I don't wanna get that call in the middle of the night telling me my friend is gone.

I don't want to dream of her smiling, to wake up to a dying soul.
But a dream is only a dream..

I don't want to be watched by a ghost of a friend who didn't want to live.

But, it's happening. People will keep being cruel to the most loving people, until they no longer want to be in this hell.

I don't want to watch a friend die.

Please don't make me.

you said, "you're not afraid to love
you love kittens, you love rainy weather,
you love shakespeare and sweaters
movies and being kissed
on the tip of your nose
new york city, you love beaches
and the few times it snows
you love crime tv, you love poetry
so why is it that when it comes to me
you feel hesitant?"

i said, "i will tell you, the reason
that i am guarded
yes, i love all of the things
that you listed.
but shakespeare never wrote me a sonnet
and then disappeared, leaving me stranded
new york city may drive me crazy
but it will always be here, you see
poetry may tear me apart
but it won't look me in the eyes as it does
do you have an answer, now, to your satisfaction?
please listen, believe me,
i do not fear rejection.
i fear giving up all of my secrets
only to find you've painted yours
on someone else's skin."

i.
lovely cigarette
cradled in soft fingers,
inhaled by
smoky lips,
tempting me.

ii.
fingertips grazing
over velvet skin,
traveling with the grooves \
of my body,
electrocuting me.

iii.
darkness engulfs
heaving bodies. '
breath heavy,
hushed moans cut off
by hot kisses,
soothing me.

iv.
one last cigarette,
ending satisfaction.
crooked grins.
smoke swirling above,
embracing me.

“Stay strong. Keep your head up."
Yet people always seem to weaken me
And my eyes always seem to seek and find the ground
“This is the storm that'll pass very soon. Don't worry. I'll comfort you."
I've had this storm for years, and you've left a long time ago
“You'll see. You'll be happy and wonder why you were depressed at all."
I won't see. Happiness is in a pill that I don't want to take
And depression will always be a lingering fate
“If you won't accept my advice. Go ahead then. I don't care what happens to you."*

You don't get it. *I don't care about me too