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blushing prince Feb 2018
I got braces when I was 16
that year I never kissed anyone
but I made boys steal things from pricy bookstores
I measure time by my teeth
every year they get more crooked
the older I get they seem to shift back to old territory
old habits
old

now even smoking cigarettes feels boring
when I walk into bookstores
I leave sticky notes with advice I wish someone would have told me then

they did
but maybe if I had found it somewhere I was looking
I might have paid more attention
my retainer sits in a shelf collecting grime
I have a chip in my front tooth now
it's all good though
Charming Blather Feb 2018
Love and power.
Bodies materialized.
Bodies that matter.
Pariah.

Pariah, on the subway train.
Pariah, speaks in her ugly name.
She is power: Pariah.

She is love.
Pariah.
She is power.
Pariah.
She is this:
Matter.
c Jan 2018
Suspended between an inching glance and the constant fluttering of hands,
I shake coolness from my neck and cross my arms against my chest
The room grows small, as does the room in my chair, so that
The only room for solace is in the waking thought of sitting back and
Falling through
The floor
I have long since realized your goal, as you
Fold my comfort into a matchbox and
Slide it into your pocket
To light for later
From early years I’ve been taught to
Tuck my resistant words in the folds of rose petals and
Present them to all in unswerving gratitude, but perhaps
That is not enough to satisfy that
Ache in your crotch
Or your head or
Wherever you bridle
That pesky ego

--
c
Jillian McLean Jan 2018
I changed the colour of my hair from brunette to blonde
not for me but for you
maybe then you might respond

I got rid of my natural nails and replaced them with longer more colourful gel ones with lots of details.
not for me but for you

I stopped wearing sweats or comfortable pants and shirts, I now wore dresses and short skirts
not for me but for you

I  tossed my sneakers and flats, started wearing high heels which are all lined at my doormats
not for me but for you

I spoke softer, more high pitched just like every woman "should"
you make it a part of womanhood.
not for me but for you.

Is there anything you would like me to change?
Is there anything more you want me to rearrange?
Of course it's not gonna be for me, it would be for you.
Afterall, it's a game you play, it's the thing you do.
Not for me but for you.
our second of two lasses conceived
sometimes within a blink
the exact moment auguring conception
difficult to identify or pinpoint

whence seminal liquid
******* from a ******* *****
birth of second daughter thyself and spouse created
while immersed in the ****** drink

generally occurred during
our naked lunch sans primal cop
yule la shun, via carousing with amorousness
when a seminal dollop
of passion circa May 1998 that pregnant verity
became definitive when the ultrasound
evinced a miniscule glop

pronounced by obstetrician and gynecologist
with an impending due date
yet unpredictable until the wife did evince
a swelling abdominal area, an ordinary fate

once pregnancy without doubt
ascertained both of felt great
lee excited at prospect thee eldest
would become “big” sister,

which less than total devoted attention
she would naturally hate
upon begetting youngest punim
indubitably saw her (Eden) irate

yet any jealousy temporarily deferred, offset
and thwarted upon the birth
of Shana, whose anniversary
she exited birth canal when a dearth

of being cocooned in the womb
suddenly necessitated adjusting to life on Earth
when formerly inducing
a bulge within the uterine hearth

and this papa nearly nineteen years
wept tears of joyful delight
with a complete set of anatomical features,
and gender as the girl found wife excite
head, cuz decision asper circumcision,

a moot point re difficult conscience fight
club and prediction as per average adult height
of female progeny, number two found the sight
a biologically whipped miracle I held tight.
Joy Dec 2017
Catherine sat across a smooth pavement
Holding a cigarette to her face
Her skin shone gracefully as the sun
Bathed her to a perfect taste
Glossy lips and pointy *******
Yellow unbuttoned blouse and dimples
Vintage clothing embroidered with red flowers
Cigarettes lit raging smokes into corners
Shamelessly winking at gentlemenm of all ages
Youthful exuberance blown to heightened stages
Energetic elegance with effervescent emotions
A woman seductively cueing for commotions
Kate Dec 2017
"I made a product for men"

My Father's words resonated in my head
What did he mean by "product"?
My seven year old mind
tried to put it together
like a puzzle
I couldn't quite put the pieces together
I left my father's words
scattered on the floor that day

Ten years later
you crawled out of the darkness into my soul
you took my dignity that night and
my mind couldn't help but drift
to the grocery store
ten years back
where my father told the cashier
that he had made a "product" for men

The seven year old me
picked up the words
my father spit out,
not knowing what they would
one day do to his little girl
I put them together
each piece fit perfectly
I knew exactly what my father meant by "product" now

"Product"
that's precisely what I was to you
something to be used
for your satisfaction
I was to be submissive
to the male
"dont disappoint him"

I was held captive
in my own body
a body that was now in your possession

you used me carelessly
left me dry
without life
nothing could be planted in me and flourish anymore

Somehow what you did to me
was acceptable
what you made me do
over and over again
until it was ideal for you
was acceptable
I am a product
that is what I was made to do
I was meant to be used by you
over and over again
this poem is about the night that a man took my dignity and forever used my sexuality against me.
Carlisle Nov 2017
sometimes i forget
how i have grown to own my skin
and i am bigger than what i was trained to be

sometimes that training kicks in
and i am just curleys wife,
flashing ankles
trying to soak up leers
the same way young men
graciously accept accolades.

i wish i could say it at least
leaves an oily film
or the burning of bile
in the back of my throat but
it doesnt.
growing up as a sexually appealing teenager has separated my view of myself to my actual self. or maybe thats just how life is- you never really know what you look like.
Zero Nine Oct 2017
Oh,
Another 5 second ad
So harmless,
harmless!

Oh,
Another 5 second ad
I can't ****
- ing skip!

It's
Not that I've not the time
-- I do!

It's
because we've
figured how
to fit
the least
necessary ****
into
just
one
blink!

What is typical is shown
What is me is mostly unknown
I don't want to be the ghost in your eyes
before I've lived, before I'm dead
sometimes it's easier than others to feel like a product.
girl diffused Oct 2017
i only learned value
after i picked
through my wreckage
he left me as a broken house
derelict splintered wood
peeling paint
broken shutters
i fed myself softer things
rebuilt myself on a river
and married the earth
It takes a while but eventually the pain recedes. It becomes acrid first, then bitter, then bittersweet, and finally it will taste like nothing at all.
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