she waited
discreetly checked the time
continued to wait
patiently and impatiently
flashing a smile
at what felt like
appropriate moments
a stunted laugh
or an "oh"
"really" or "yeah"
if she felt
she'd been wordlessly
quiet for too long
hours had been lost
to the smallest of talk
the bane of
real conversation
of truly meeting a person
all that effort
of getting ready
the makeup
meticulously applied
the hair
styled and restyled
the outfit
chosen then doubted
then changed
to be put on again
all of that
for this

The most useful lesson
conveys itself in the shadow of your words,
hidden,
waiting for me to catch on

You said I reminded you of the rain,
and I said you reminded me of the sunset.
You said that you'd stick by me
even if there was some thunder.
I said I'd stick by you
long enough to see every sunrise.

But then, there was some thunder,
and some lightning,
and the rain you thought you knew so well
turned out to be a hurricane.

You didn't stay, but to this day
I still watch every single sunset
and wake up early
to see the sun rise.

Do you remember that time where you were late and I was nervous?

The time where you couldn’t leave it 2 days and I made a playlist “drive with summer girl”

When all we did was let our chests let us know what’s best and the world seemed to fall to the wayside like so many complications we refused at the door.

When the only thing that stopped us was the turning of the sun and the expectations of a world not set on allowing the future that is ours.

My plants have never been so well watered than the cups you left around my house, the knowing you were here, the reminder that not everything is measured.

Everything is so yes but now in a pile of maybes that make my heart quiver in the mourning of the future that never has always been.

Like so many poems at 4 AM to help you sleep, to satisfy the I love you in my soul, to hear the comfort in your voice, the “I’m crazy about you baby” in your eyes that leaves me heart and sleeve in a store just waiting for me to leave.

Sarah said “In my dreams, you spin around me so fast I wake up dizzy” It’s a shame we’re both so busy… Busy in the rooms with no seats and an I love you in every goodnight.

Sarah said, “tell me 10 things that are true”.
But I only need 1.

That one thing is you.

Star that shines so bright
I just want you to know that I’m going to rewrite
And wait, even if it’s not right
"Hi" and "Bye," You only said that a few times
But this heart still craves those rhymes

Star that shines so bright
Thank you for the lightness
And rounds of happiness
This fondness that I knew
I am pleased to have met you
And I hope you do too  

My apologies for intruding
But I will still be waiting
Even if I come to an end of still nothing
My apologies for everything
But I have no control over these feelings of mine

Star that shines so bright
I hope you’ll be happy all along
I will not say "Bye for so long"
Because I will still be waiting
Even if this ends in nothing

you never visited me
while
            waiting
                             for you
i became part of the earth
as a fossils
whom you walked on

i do not have the patience of a god,
yet i find myself waiting yet again.

i do not have the patience of a god,
but when you return with tears in your eyes,
my arms are open wide—
heart willing, though it aches again—
ready to hold you close once more.

i do not have the patience of a god, no,
but i do think i have the patience of a flower.

i do not think you notice,
too busy in your own mind.
for once, i was a blooming daisy,
so welcoming, so bright—
day after day. week after week.

i do not think you saw me,
for the lily petals that once were brilliant
had curled and wrinkled into an ugly shade of brown,
and the daffodil petals scatter on the ground,
leaving nothing but a twisted, wilted stem.

i do not think i have the patience of a god,
though i think i was given a heart like a god.  
for i still love you, painfully,
like thorns on a rose.

and though i may have a love like a god,
the rest of me is still
so stupidly human.

please don’t come back this time.

though if you do,
i will open my arms again.

Out of fashion, out-dated
there's no help for it, so let me be
unattractive, rejected
because I show myself so conspicuously
and attract attention needlessly

That's how I'm seen. I am seen
and the whispering amuses me
although nobody talks to me

And you let me wait again
until the reception calls
that you are there

So I just sit here
looking out the window
I am used to it, there is nothing to see
at the back of the hotel
and it is getting dark

You always were impatient
My make-up took too long for you
and you sat angry in the car

but if I behaved exactly
the way you had conceived
you could really be sweet