Regret

I still feel the regret lingering in my chest
I should have gone
Why didn’t I go?
I remember the early morning contemplation.. to go or not to go?
It was dark
It was cold
I justified getting back under the covers, but I didn’t sleep
Shame
I should have gone
But then
As I write I realize
The decision was with unforeseen purpose
For without it
I wouldn’t have been put into this position
To learn to forgive myself

Forgiveness

Dignity is my blinding shield,
Biting cold my breast plate,
Melancholy my urge,
Yet loyalty my oath.
- I guard this world.

Mortality shrouds my vulnerable skin,
Warm is my greeting heart
And shining hope my star,
Yet humbleness my bread.
- I welcome you in my world.

This mask, so engrained in my mind,
that I forget it resides on the surface of my skin, rather than sunken in.
It slowly, and is, slipping.
Every touch,
Every time,
Loves loving eyes locked on mine.

My curse loosens it’s bind,
As it’s dissolved between us,
surrendering to your affections,
It can’t take loves weight.

Unveiling my colours,
It’s you that pulled the tapestry.
I forgot, of what, I was capable.
Of what, so long, had been hid.

This mask,
Dismantled at my feet.
Lowering my gaze to a shattered past,
Until my chin is met by kind fingertips...

Upwards, my scarred skin, tips,
to face you,
Thankyou

Come break through my walls,
take my armor away
and bind me so I can't run.

Strip me of all my defenses,
don't stop unil I stand there
fragile, scared
and longing for connection.

Take me in.

I was born innocent, lacking brand
from a mortal only womb,
but my glory walks hand in hand
with my own impending doom.
Though I have a body of immense vulnerability
I have a mind of never seen before power,
and I could call a truce of no hostility
but only keep it up for an hour.

There was no cold there was no heat, there was nothing at all.
There was no winter or spring, no summer or fall.
There was no sky and no clouds, no darkness or light,
there was no choice, no consequence, there was no wrong or right.

I once had wings but clipped them to fit in
and I wore a halo but it went dim with sin.
I wet my appetite tasting bliss
but before I knew it was all done,
I guess I’m cursed to be Icarus
‘cause I flew too close to the sun.

I inhaled sweet nothings into a golden lung but quickly lost my breath
before my head never truly hung,
I was oblivious to life, love and death.
Though I have a skeleton that can easily break
I have a spirit that is stronger than gold,
and the only thoughts that now keep me awake,
are if I’ll keep my young heart when I grow old.

I once had wings but clipped them to fit in
and I wore a halo but it turned to rusted tin.
I glided over the darkest abyss
because I could never run,
I guess I’m cursed to be Icarus
‘cause I flew too close to the sun.

My only mortality lies within my head and my heart,
I attempt to numb the first, the other has been torn apart.
Lounging on light clouds that weigh a ton,
it was always my home plain,
‘cause even though I’ve been destined for the sun,
you know deep down I’ve always been the rain.

I once had wings but clipped them to fit in
and I wore a halo but it faded with my grin.
When I return to the sky there’s something I’ll miss,
it’s my soulmate, my one,
I guess I’m cursed to be Icarus
‘cause I flew too close to the sun.