Do you know how to love shadows
sit in a sick stew of solitary confinement
for a crime you did not commit?

Do you know the feel of someone else’s violence
the stinging lashes, reddening
rage distorting
fury unleashed
by someone who seems
to hate you
as much as they
hate themselves?

Do you know the flinches,
the constant guarding,
the tears cried
only when no one else
is in sight
cause why
give those ******* the satisfaction?

Do you know the self-deprecation
self-debasing
pretending that your pain
is so freaking hilarious?

Do you know the loneliness
of the vacuum
cause you distrust
any stranger
who might touch
you?

Do you know the shame
and pain
when people push
and claim
that you should let
the perpetrator
back in to your life again?
Do you know
how it feels
to press down
on the skin that swells
while tears and snot
stifle your breathing
after a beating,
how the physical pain  
of the abuse
seems to weaken
but the other stuff
leaves you wishing
you were never born?

We are who we are  

But we are still all human

No matter how vast the world we live in

No matter how near or how far

We are where we are

We are all human

No matter the hue of our skin

We are all human

We are not all men

But we are all human

No matter the nationality or origin

We are all human

No matter how thick or how thin

We are all human

No matter how great our sins

We are all human

No matter faith

Or what we believe in

We are all human

We do not love or hate the same things

But we are all human

No matter how strong the convictions

Nation against nation or between simple citizens

We are all human

No matter the civil

Or social unrest that has risen

We are all human

No matter the wars we wage

No matter the battles we win

No matter the violence that's made

In the end it's humans both sides are burying

Human life lost that both sides are mourning

The weight of human life in the caskets they're carrying

But both sides are still human

One thing we all have in common

Times not our friend

It is and should be our only end

But…

In the news

I only hear about humans ending humans

Why is it that I see violence  

Why is it that when I look around

I see humans

But…

Little humanity

I've risen up from the bottom
I’ve free fallen from the top
I'm down to earth
But the free fall never stopped
I was eventually battered by the waves
Hit my head on the rocks
I drifted for days
I awoke surrounded by the ocean so misty and clouded in this grayish haze
Just like the sea
I felt sometimes so clear blue and so free
Then sometimes I felt as deep and as black as could be
The world had cast me away because I had questioned its wars
I had questioned its ways
Once again
The silver lining that had been behind this life had withered and frayed


As I looked around
Bullets began to stray
The ocean was flipped upside down
The sea floor became a battleground
Barbed wire raised
The ditches sunk
The scene unfolded into a battlefront
But that grayish haze didn't change
You couldn't mistake the sound  

The struggles

The shouts

The whizz of the bullets

The doubts

The moments of silence

I’m thrown back by the sight

The bloodshed

The violence

The sound and sight of artillery shells as they shatter the ground
Covered by the ash strewed grass
Once again
I'm thrown back
I was battered by the blast
I hit my head on a rock
Out cold
No longer than three minutes I'd last. . .
Bled out on the already blood stained grass

They arrived with a letter after only a day passed
My mother. . .
Her heart shattered like glass
My father. . .
To his knees he collapsed
An honorable death in the letter somewhere it read
But so many words left unsaid

Wasted life
Jesus Christ
What a pointless sacrifice
Sleepless nights
Sorrow filled flicker of the candle lights
Devastating letters to family. . .

Just wait till’ dad sees. . .

The 21 guns salute
The flag strewn casket

Inside his son. . .

Who he, himself, taught to shoot a gun at 6 years young
Lil’ sis’ still can't grasp it
Too young to understand the senselessness of a topic so sensitive


There truly is no sense in this
Our patriotic grievances
With all these wars and smothered grins
I wonder if anyone actually still believes in sins
I myself no longer see the light
I try so hard to catch another glimpse
I once saw it as a young boy
But then I grew up
The shadow of the real world was too immense
So it died out back then
I haven't seen it since

The human race
The United States
Says it strives for peace
Yet the world’s becoming more and more of a crazy place
They think being capable of the most destruction keeps us safe
Yet it's dangerous so they develop destructive weapons behind closed gates

The sins of humanity are clearly pointed out in our history
We've had two world wars soon to be three. . .

Undoubtedly. . .

Guess Planet Earth is now a wars world
It is this that makes the world so unworldly

One race

One world

Divided we've always stood
Divided we'll inevitably fall
Tripped over our own two feet
Caught up in the waves when our engines stall

Capsized by the waves of our history. . .

Sometimes so clear blue and so free
Then sometimes as deep and black as could be

History's developing a pattern so sink or swim won't matter
A shadow over our own people we so easily cast
Drowned in the darkness
Caused by the ignorance so easily hidden and masked
Caused by the heartless
So oblivious to the past
It's now just a matter of how long we can hold our breath
How long we'll last


One thousand years won't save our lives
But thousands of lives can be saved for a lifetime if we understand the fact that...

Wars don't determine who is right...

Only who is left
Only who is left to fight another day
It's sad to say
So sad to see
Wish these soldiers could come home and live happily

But when they close their eyes they see their brothers in arms meet their demise

Again and again and they beg and they beg

“Please god when does it end! ”

"What do you want from me? ”

"If it was only me and not them! "

“Why couldn't you have saved my friends? ”

“They were clearly the better men.”

They had wives
They had children
They had lives
Now what fills in?

A flag in a glass case
Right above the fireplace
A picture frame of their smiling face
An angel lost to amazing grace

A silent dinner table . . .

An empty space. . .

A whole future. . .

A whole life. . .

Gone and erased. . .

Lost to The Waves of War

Metal heavy
ready
steady

Hot in hand
Shelled, cocked into green-light action
Pierced through fresh flesh

Body leaning
keeling
pleading

Hot under hand
Shelled, coiling under skin unwilling,
Malleable

--
c

What is more
fleeting than love
but safety
shelter
a home
built of solid material
a place to rest the bones
in darkness
and in light
and honey,
you are that light
built into my chest
a bountiful inside
a beautiful edifice
a commission of stars
a love no less worthy
of poetry.
Sure,
I fight
and I toil
but what is spoken word
if it is not flawed
and resistant to shaking?
In this God’s land
in this green machine
a woman’s love
is but a dark kiss
but yours is destiny
and violence
collisions of legs and sweat.
So honey
sugar baby
give me shelter
let me rest in you
I promise to be
a faithful visitor
to your shrines
and temples
and to love you
fiercely
and madly
as only a woman can.

Tear-stained pillow.
Crimson sheets.
A broken heart at rest.
A troubled mind at peace.

Weeping willow,
mighty tree.
No longer bound by your own roots.
Fallen yet free.

As the river takes you on your journey.
The machine that cut you keeps on turning.
We are but single grains in the shifting sands of time.
A flame that burns and fades in the blink of an eye.

I've been waiting for you here.
I'm your protector, have no fear.
My darkness hides you from the demons.
No pain, no anguish. No more reasons to cry those tears.

You lie so still now,
wrapped in velvet sheets.
Photograph clutched to your chest.
Snow-white cheeks.

A smile that never fades.
No furrowed brow.
Those emerald eyes no longer betray you.
All's peaceful now.

Don't grieve for the ones you left behind.
They all will understand in time.
Those who loved you most take comfort that you're free.
Your ever-youthful ghost lives on in memory.

I've been waiting for you here.
I'm your protector, have no fear.
My darkness hides you from the demons.
No pain, no anguish. No more reasons to cry those tears.

Weeping willow,
sacred tree.
No longer bound by your own roots.
Fallen yet free.