beware atomic attack!
1950s civil defense
duck and cover drills
Bert the turtle
showed us the way

flash of light - duck and cover!

Come out of your shell but don’t throw by the wayside what’s there to protect you.

Lost in the sea.
          Lost in your eyes.
                     Lost in your love.
      
Am I lost in the depth of the         ocean?  

Waves crash against the shore. So are you the ocean, if I’m the shore?        
      
           I see a sea turtle.
A large one with a colorful glow.

It opens my eyes and I can see the life inside you.
                It’s bright.
                         And warm.

But when you wrap your arms around me, they’re cold and dark.  

      Are we like dolphins and lions?    
Different from so many perspectives and meant to stay apart.

      But again, the lion chases    
              dolphins, while they run.          
       And they do outrun him,       because the lion can’t swim.
     Because the lion will drown into
             the depth of the ocean.

So if I let myself drown and die for your love. Will you push me back onto the shore and let the lions, whom are so afraid of drowning take me.
          And tear me apart,
                     piece by piece,
                            part by part.
        And heart by heart.

I’m not the only one who’s afraid to let myself drown into a love of another.

     There will always be one ocean,    
              that lets you drown.
      And one that pushes you away.

      There will always be one shore,    
            that’s brave enough to try.  
     And one that will never get wet,    
          because it’s too afraid to die.

A walk on the beach, calm and content
A slow stride with intent
Directions are clearly written
For the water tempts with graceful position
"Come to me, and take a swim
I will shelter you, please come on in
Little green speckled walker
I, the Ocean, call you son and daughter."
With a joyous pitter
And an excited patter
Water to toes,
Then feet, legs, and tummy, all the way to little turtle’s nose.
Protection and freedom within the ocean
A soft sweet lullaby motion

Is a common turtle really different from a crab?
They both make their ways slowly, across the dirt and sand.
The mouth and claw don't differ much in ways they're used to grab.
Could a common turtle really be a green-shelled crab?

i touch my soul and release the ON switch.

The darkness beckons like an aborted child full of possibilities never explored.
Potential never reached.
Heights never teached.
Things never speeched.
But life goes on thrashing like a rude animal, desperately devouring all in its path with no end in sight, and no table manners.
Trembling slowly, my hand reaches into the abyss for a drop of light to comfort my flickering life force. The only channel of hope that now rushes with the ferocity of a dying turtle, with no home to speak of.

TICK TOCK, click clack, the only sounds that remind me that reality never shuts off.
Where’s the remote?

It was never invented.

My shadows play dead to my consciousness, never there to teach me my concrete lessons.

So I scratch my bed stings, reminders of my past, itches of my present, and marks  in my future.

The fade to black is my only resolution.

The gavel sounds and I pinch myself, hoping it’s a dream, no it’s just a scheme, ultralight beam?

The ticks turn into Morse code. Translation?



Start over.

I resent many of my own works,
And I resent who wrote them.

But It’s what I feel and my hand writes,
As a suicidal turtle,
Though may place his head underneath an elephant’s foot,
Cannot stop himself from pulling back under his shell.