Kindness, to me
It's kind of like a flower
Only every time I'm given one
It's poisonous and thorny
They ***** me and fill me with betrayal
And turn to ash in my hands
How am I to know
That your kindness is genuine
That you don't want to hurt me
And even if you don't
I still know that every flower
Will die in the end

I don’t trust myself with you.
I’ve built myself a lonely cage.
I use my fear as my protector.
But sometimes, I open the cage.
Step-out to breathe in the fresh air of what could be,
then get terrified with the first breath I inhale,
and I go back in.
Because I’ve learned that the more people you let into your life,
the more vulnerable you get.
The easier it is for them to walk out.
And so I will suffer in silence.
Because I'd rather be lonely.
Than happy then broken.

I wonder what you think about when you lay down next to me... When I sleep, do you sleep, or internally question me?

How quick do you jump when Im up and you see the phone was right next to me? You scroll and search, hope to find dirt, and continue second guessing me...

Sweatin me, when you taking certain things out of context, stressin me, when I tell you how Im tryna be honest, selling me, tellin me how you respecting my process, only to continue to do the same thing again and again like you obsessed...

Its not a sport, nor is it fun, when it feels like there's a gun, behind my back and at my head, wishing what we had was dead...

But you still not using words to talk to me or ask me first, to let me know what thoughts still linger, what doubts you have or your distrust...
You tell me all is fine; that you have nothing to say, then we go to bed at the end of the day

But still, I wonder what you think about when you lay down next to me...

@desire.is.dope
20190428
1249HRS