I’m sorry I told you the things that I said I wouldn’t  say
Because I trusted you
It took you 20 seconds alone with them to tell them
I said it out of anger
I said it out of fear
I said it because what she did was unacceptable

And so I probably shouldn’t have told you
Should have known better
Because I know that I’m your best friend
But being popular is more important
To you
And what I said was said in anger
And you thought I didn’t know
When I walked into the room and you fell silent
The only word “snake”
Or the person you were on face time to
As I drove past
I know when you’re lying
Don’t call me ignorant

Because I didn’t mention it when you
Called me fat
Or called me dramatic
Or spoke about my biggest secret in front of everyone else
Or ignored me
And stood me up
So many times because fifteen minutes is not enough warning
And I didn’t want to get embarrassed in front of my mother for having such a ****** friend
So I sat alone
In the park at night
And we all know what happens to girls alone in the park at night.

But I didn’t mention it
Because I didn’t want to blame you
She was the irresponsible one
I was just doing my job
Cheering them on
Doing the right thing
Whilst she stared and whispered
All I said was that I “expected better”
And you told her because why the **** not

She’s more popular than me
She’s the centre of attention
She can get anyone on her side
But I must have forgotten I can’t tell you that
Because you’ll tell her
And that **** *****.

I was a giant.
One day while running, I spotted you atop a tree.
You were waving. Smiling. Barely able hold the branches from my ground shaking footsteps.

I don't know why but I picked you up, gently. You sat upon my shoulders and told me of your dreams of one day building your own home.

I showed you the place I called home, yet it was too big for you.
So we went back out.
I gathered you stones of love to act as a foundation.
I plucked mighty oaks of trust from the ground to provide lumber for your walls and security.
I cleared a spot for you in my home, and allowed you to construct yours.

And all was well.
One day, you came to me in the night.
You whispered into my ear that my footsteps were too loud for you
That my movements disturbed your peace and shattered your dreams as you slept.
I tried to crawl.
Tried to slide across the ground on my belly.
For a while I just stopped moving.

Without my massive footsteps to crush the forests, and stunt the mountains
The forests began to become an overgrown thick brush
The mountains toppled from their own height and destroyed anything around them

But I sat. Quietly. And watched.

And then it became my breathing.
My heartbeat.
The pounding sound of blood rushing through my veins.
My laughter.

My very existence was too loud. Too disturbing to your peace.
So when your walls started to rot
And you slept through,
I wasn't sure what the correct course of action was.

When the wind began eroding away the foundation, and collapsing the home around you
I was sure you'd awaken

But you didn't

Your home is gone now
Replaced by a pile of rotted wood that was your security and trust from the outside
And stones so heavy, only I can clean them up now.

And I will. Slowly

And once the pile of rubble is gone, and your corpse is located and buried

I will swear the vow that under any circumstance,

I will not let anyone tell me my existence is too powerful for them.

I am a Giant. And I will not falter from running any longer.

I strive to meet...
The person whom lies within

I desire to know what drives your every thought

Ecstatic and enthusiastic happiness you verbalize

it brings me joy to see your eyes Glistening like a constellation with warmth inside so bright


But as I listen
I inquire to myself "is that really you? Or just a Facade?"


When I peer deep within those Eyes
I glimpse great sorrow you Disguise...

When you message

Your name appears

they see my smile

But inside... my chest, Tense


I attempt to inhale
The air thickens
My lungs like Stone...
Chilling to the Bone

Your Phone silent... Do you wonder why?

What do I say? What will be the conclusion?

Delusion?

I think in a small way, I always knew it was you
you've always taken care of me quietly
told me difficult truths
surprised me with my favorite drink
(you memorized my order)
because you knew I was sad before I even
told you
you make me want to be a better person
I am a better person because of you
I like myself better with you

Friend energy vulnerable of honest.
When fulfils, they group feeling safe.
encourages thoughts of capable a trust.

To depend we when;
Safe doing feel thoughts and can purpose.
Vulnerable trust what honest encourages;
Safe when fulfils family feeling.
Other depend.

Words are nothing
Show me
Put your love in your fingertips and hold me
I don't want to hear your sorry
What use does it have when you remain the same and keep reverting back to the same old story?

I've had enough of your words and your talent
For webbing them together to trick me into trusting
I've had enough your deceit, from now on I'm doing me
So take your words and give me  room to breathe