The first time we said "i love you"
was when we were fifteen
there have been many times that
we had to begin again
but I've known all along that you belong with me

After our sad beautiful tragic love affair
let's jump then fall into wonderland
because you're the only one I want to get lost with
I knew you were trouble but now it's
a state of grace

I saw sparks fly  when I met you
and I was so enchanted
i couldn't wait for you to be mine
and I know all too well
the story of how everything has changed
and now I have found a place in this world
where I can be fearless

This love might be treacherous
but it will never go out of style
I waited so long saying "I wish you would"
and now my wildest dreams have come true

I know places where there is a lot of starlight
that we can call our holy ground
here we can stay stay stay
and never have a last kiss
you don't have to leave me haunted
and waiting for you and your white horse
I still think you're innocent
and I hope you speak now when necessary

Long live all these red emotions
and listening to our song together
which is of course how you get the girl

I will be yours until we're 22 and beyond
I'm so happy that we're out of the woods
and that *this is really happening

2am
I lay in my bed trying to sleep
It's so easy for everybody else.
Fifteen minutes and then their out.

But my mind wonders.
0 to 360.
What's for lunch tomorrow?
I wonder what your doing lying in bed.
I can't get this song out of my head!

My brain unravels

Time to write
No need to fright
"It's as easy as riding a bike."

But my brain crumbles
My words jumble
I feel as if I've taken a tumble.

This is taking an hour
I really need to shower
I'm giving school too much power.

I'm unable to write
Blank typing into the night.
It's time to say goodnight.

Disoriented faces timelapse by as I trudge my way to school.
The old women over there carrying a Fairway bag
Her grandchildren are visiting her for the weekend.
The women  attempting to refrain a smile
Her boyfriend is going to propose tonight.
The young man carrying a briefcase and rapidly walking
He is on his way to his first day at work.
The little boy carrying a backpack that is larger than himself
His mom packed him a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
A million faces timelapse by.
I wonder what my story looks like to the grandma, the women, the boy, the man.

I can feel the cold setting in.
Each morning is more bitter and frostbitten than the last.
The air and my thoughts are becoming stale, dry, and unpleasant.
The sun does not warm me anymore.
Like me it seems to have become weary.
The birds are gone.
All life seems to have abandoned this place.
Ice clings to my bedroom window, begging to expire in the warmth of a living room fire.
Smoke rises from the chimneys, covering this world in cold ashes and grey.
A life of color now painted banal and mundane.
I can feel the frozen air seeping in, slowly chilling me to my core.
With every passing night I grow colder and slower.
I have become eternally internally tired.
I end each dream embracing the boreal winds.
Ice evaporates into my thoughts.
I can feel the cold setting in.

And just like that the rain was gone.
The puddles were the only thing that remained.
They reminded me of the rain.
How it fell so beautifully,
How it spoke so softly,
How it left without saying goodbye.
All that remains now are the puddles,
Until they too wither away in silence.

~Dear Taylor, (Taylor's a guy)
Taylor
And
Sam.
To star crossed lovers with their heads in the clouds.
To star crossed lovers with their love turned to shrouds.
Taylor loves Sam,
They were so happy.
Then the secret was out,
That they were gay,
Taylor was Christian.
In a Christian town.
He didn't belong there,
The wrong time.
The wrong place.
All because Taylor loved Sam,
To his town, he is a disgrace.~

I know I have no chance, I know there will always be someone before me.
But before you make this your final decision, give me a chance.
Give me a chance to show you I know how to love, and I know how to love you.
Let me show you my true colors, my real spirit, my real self.
Give me a minute to let all my inhibitions go, be real, and be silly.
I love to be silly.
I guess that's something you should know.
I like to prance around in boxer shorts and oversized t-shirts belting out Taylor Swift like no other.
I like to make funny faces on snapchat and tweet song lyrics.
I will always laugh uncontrollably no matter how funny something is, that's just me.
I will always want to cuddle during thunderstorms, and I will always want to watch movies that make me cry.
I will never not love being kissed on the forehead, and hearing someone say, "you're cute."
This is Marisa, and this is Marisa unraveled.
This is me breaking out of the everyday norm.
And if you want to put me first,
You have to accept the challenge of loving me,
then you have to accept all my silliness and my quirks.