#survivor poems on Hello Poetry

Matthew Rousseau Nov 2020

A quarter used to be a bag of chips,
days eye level with countertops,
2000 is a big number
when 5 is all you know,
maybe there's a one on the end like those twin towers,
and the falling man on the TV,

Or maybe it was blow up furniture in the shed with the hose on,
and a neighbor with a hose too,
He was kind, a big kid I didn't know,
Shrek plays on the TV, Only superstars
break the mold,

Mold in the basement,
dirt floor and the smell of summer fills my lungs
but then I'm on the bed with her, and The people's elbow
makes me laugh,
but feeling something else too, something
shameful like what's on the TV, on the TV there are those dead babies,

Dead people from the towers, I hear someone say
at the store, and I have a bag of chips, but my pants are down,
She te telling me to just watch wrestling and relax, but I just
want to know why,

Why am I 25 now but the hose and the wrestling, and the people, all those people on the TV, the twin dead ones,
it makes 25 feel like more
than just a bag of chips

#survivor

Sarah Flynn Nov 2020

parasite

I can't see him,
but he's still here.

he's still on me.

he won't let go.
he won't let go.
h e w o n ' t l e t g o

#abuse #assault #violence #survivor #recovery #panic #mania #paranoid #hurt #fear

Sarah Flynn Nov 2020

when to worry

when I make jokes about suicide,
you worry about me.

but if I'm joking about suicide
and still finding a way to laugh
through the morbidity,
I am okay.

it's when I stop joking
that you have to worry.

#survivor #suicide #laughter #pain #coping #recovery #past #jokes #worry

V Nov 2020

Just a Warning-

-That red flags, never turn green.

I had to learn it the painful way....

#relationships #warning #abuse #awarness #2020 #vent #support #help #survivor

SiouxF Sep 2020

You Are Not Your Past

I’m still here.
I’m still alive.
What happened,
Doesn’t change who I am.
I’ve been living in
My uncomfortable comfort zone
It’s just what I’m used to
Its familiar
But now I’m ready
To step outside
And to be an active participant
In my life
A protagonist
With all my passions and desires
And to live my life
With intent
And with
Love

#survivor #narcissism

Larissa Frost Nov 2020

My Space

When you come
Into my space
It makes me want to hide
And take my bones
And memories
And things I never
Speak of
And climb inside
A closet that leads to Narnia
Or somewhere else
Than here
Cause when you come
into my space
So does every single
Fear.

So stay away.

-L.Frost

#survivors #survivor #domesticviolence #healing

Larissa Frost Nov 2020

Escape

You lured me in
With your compliments
And trapped me with
your lies
I could never please you
No matter how I tried
The day we tied
The knot to hell
I saw the evil twist
And some years later
I ran
To escape
Your
Fist.

-L.Frost

#domesticviolence #domesticabuse #emotionalabuse #domesticviolenceawareness #narcissisticabuse #abuse #narcissist #gaslighting #toxicrelationships #survivor

Arya Night Oct 2020

Believe

I believe you,
Because I believe there is goodness
In talking about the badness.
Because turning a blind eye is the same as selling your soul.

I believe you,
Because I’ve faced the monsters too.
And I’ve found the monsters under the bed
Are nothing compared the monsters outside.

I believe you,
You’re not alone.
Your monsters are real
They can bleed
They can be defeated.

#power #notalone #hope #believe #standtogether #survivor

Sarah Flynn Oct 2020

my death would have been on a Wednesday

I slept in a little too late
a few days that week.

when the pharmacist called
about my prescriptions,
I didn't refill them
for the next month.

I forgot to eat breakfast
and maybe lunch
and I didn't remember
whether or not I ate dinner.

I didn't buckle my seatbelt
when I got into my car.

I didn't show up
when we made plans,
and eventually I stopped
making plans altogether.

I stopped joking about suicide
and you thought that
was a good sign,

but you didn't realize
I stopped joking
because this time,
I was serious.

when I hung up the phone
I said "goodbye"
instead of "goodnight."

and no one tried to stop me
because no one knew

because all of these little changes
seemed to mean nothing.

you didn't see
that I was hurting
until the tiles on
our bathroom floor
turned red.

you didn't see
that I was bleeding
until I had already bled out.

but on that day,
my story did not end.
my funeral was not
that weekend.
my death was not
on that Wednesday.

and now,
when I end the call,
I don't say "goodbye."

I never say "goodbye"
because tomorrow,
I will still be here.

even when it hurts
to simply get out of bed,
I will be here.

I will be here
because I am still breathing.
I am still alive

and there are so many
beautiful Wednesdays
that I haven't seen yet.

#suicide #survivor #strength #pain #silence #goodbye #alive #breathe

Sarah Flynn Oct 2020

we are survivors, not statistics

every 73 seconds
an American is sexually assaulted.
these statistics do not shock me anymore.
1 in 5 American women have been *****
at some time in their lives.
1 in 71 American men have been *****
at some time in their lives.
in an average year,
there are 433,648 reported
rapes in the United States.
these are only 2 of those stories.
_________

#1
it does not shock me
when my friend calls
and says that she
doesn’t remember
what happened,
but she woke up
lying in a puddle
of her own blood.

it does not shock me
when she’s sobbing
so loudly into
the phone that I
can’t make out any
of her words.

it does not shock me
that I don’t need to
hear her to know
what happened
last night.
I can hear the fear
in her voice.
I can feel her pain.
I already know.

it does not shock me
when I see her sitting
in my passenger seat,
and I automatically know
that she is not fully here.
she left a part of herself
there on that mattress.
looking over at her,
I know that right now,
she is beginning to realize
that she lost something
that she will never
be able to get back.

it should have been hers
to give away,
but it was stolen.
she is the 1 in 5.
_______

#2
it does not shock me
when we walk past
the Auntie Anne’s
in the mall,
and my friend
collapses at the smell
of cinnamon
and sugary pretzels.

it does not shock me
when he apologizes
over and over
and tells me that
he was *****,
and that his ****** was
chewing on a piece of
cinnamon-scented gum.

it does not shock me
that I am holding him
while he shakes and cries
on the floor of the mall.
I want to hug him tighter
and keep him close to me,
but I know that right now,
his mind is already gone.
he feels like he is still there.
he tells me that it feels
like they are hurting him
all over again.
I can’t hold him
tight enough
to bring him back.

it does not shock me
that he waited so long
to tell me this.
it does not shock me
when he says that
he didn’t think it
mattered because
he is a man,
because so many
people have told him
he should’ve liked it.

he does not tell them
his rapists were
six grown men
at one time,
but they wouldn’t
care even if he did.
he is the 1 in 71.
________

we now avoid parties
and pale blue bedsheets.
we never go past certain streets,
even though it adds
a few extra miles onto every trip.
we now avoid pretzel stands
and candy stores.
we never watch romance movies or films, even though almost every movie
has some kind of *** or kissing scene.

we are always aware of where we go,
and who we’re with,
and who knows that we’re going out, and
who knows where we’ll be if we do.

we avoid the things
that we once loved to do.
we avoid the places
that we once loved to go.

we are hyper-vigilant,
and we are cautious,
and we are careful
because we are scared.
we are all scared.

my friend is the 1 in 5.
my other friend is the 1 in 71.
I am the 1 in 5.

almost everyone I know
has a story like this.
this information may be shocking,
but not to us. not anymore.
it can happen anywhere
to anyone at anytime,
but we see it so often that I think
we’ve grown numb to it.

if you talk to a group of teenagers
and you tell them, “I was *****.”
they will not be surprised.
this is every day.
we are afraid every day.

know that this is not
just a collection of statistics.
these are your family.
these are your friends.
these are all people just like you,
with beating hearts
and lives to live,
and we are so much more
than just numbers on a list.

#survivor #**** #assault #attack #pain #young #hurt #daily #shock