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Adam El-ghirani Oct 2021
Looking for security but ain't gonna find it in this life
No matter if ya rich or poor,
White or black
Whether or not ya take the covid shot
Here's a little fun fact we all goin die

Tell me can ya add up the years are you an accountant? Or are you a drug dealer selling that white horse, just put a crack rock on ya girls left hand
Then ya go celebrate with some powder and now ya high as a mountain.
Adam El-ghirani Oct 2021
Most days I feel so lonely
     Hide behind this mask like does anybody know me?
      Still dealing with the same stuff I dealt with when I was a kid
        Maybe I never grew up
Maybe I'm still a kid
       Maybe I'll never get over it.

Most days I just wanna lay in bed
      Close my eyes and forget about the world cause the world already closed their eyes and forgot about me.

I just feel like I could float away and die
Send me up to heaven with a message in a bottle saying " Return back to sender"
Or go down in hell and hang with some of the family.... probably shouldn't said that... oops my apologies.
Adam El-ghirani Oct 2021
In the next thirty years I hope I'm a little more secure in my finances and my mental health. I hope thirty years from now I'm not in this mental hell.

Maybe content with the things that didn't work out and who knows maybe I'll have time to work out
Finally forgive my dad for not coming round or we actually work it out

I hope thirty years from now I'm a little more comfortable in my own skin, be happy with who I am and who I'm not that would be an achievement.

Maybe take some risks and see where I land and who knows maybe I'll be a little happier with the end than where I began.
Adam El-ghirani Oct 2021
Sometimes I think the saddest part of life is how far we come from when we finished to when we started.

My daughter's one years old and I know someday she's going to know what it feels like to not be enough

My cousin wasn't always addicted to the ****** but then he got older had some pain that wouldn't heal  so he started medicating and started popping pills then it lead to the hard stuff and now he's not with us

I remember being young and wide eyed, never felt so alive but when I got older something in me died and when I die, I'm gonna die with a broken heart on my sleeve.
Adam El-ghirani Oct 2021
Are you tired?
Are you weary?

Have the people you once loved left you miles apart
from the person you once knew?

You're not alone in this mystery
All your wounds, all your tears will soon be healed
You'll be able to tell the tale of victory

How you overcame it all
how you made your own destiny.
Adam El-ghirani Oct 2021
22
I'm scared of love, I'm scared of lust
I'm afraid if I open up my bank account they'll take the money and run.
Adam El-ghirani Oct 2021
Please have a seat and tell me why you're here.

Well I'll start from the beginning, grew up in a broken home were the foundation of my heart started to get cracks and what I mean is I grew up with an abusive dad.

I couldn't understand how someone who's supposed to be the rock won't rock with me and he loved throwing the first stones.

As a kid I felt like I viewed life on the outside cause I didn't know who I was inside so I leaned to keep the house the clean just don't look under the rug.

As life progressed I learned that people like to wear masks to mask the pain of abuse, neglect and trauma but take off the mask and you'll see a face with scars from trail of tears.

Doc can you please help me? I'm lost inside and this inner child won't stop crying. He's lost in the grocery store and they keep calling me to come get him but I keep going down the wrong aisle.

Put in my headphones, with my eyes closed and I think I'm finally starting to see that it's not ghost I'm afraid... I'm really afraid of...me.
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