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Roman May 1
It was random
I can't stand em
They're inside my head
I don't panic
I'm interplanetary
Soon we'll all be dead

I was walking on the sea and I'm swimming in the street and I'm simultaneously fraught with nothing
I am yearning for this thing that is deep inside of me but I'm philosophically codependent

I am not ok
Everything's alright
I am not ok
I been dreamin'
I got dreams and I'm slow as I am proud
Temptation lady
You persuade me; your thoughts are all too loud

I am not ok
Everything's alright

I have managed
To abandon
The reasons I move on
There's a bandage
For all the damaging
parts I've found so far

I seen her walking by; didn't look her in the eyes and I knew it was a lie but I was looking at her thighs

She said I like your smile and I really like your style and I've known you for a while let's just do it on the tile

I said I don't even know where I am at
She said don't worry I'm never coming back
I said I don't think you really understand
She said don't worry I'm not here to hold your hand
And then she showed me that we are only ruling our mistakes
She pulled me closely, whispered slowly "bend it if it breaks"

I am not ok
Everything's alright
I am not ok
Roman Apr 2019
My thoughts fly to rise
I push my eyes to blind
Even when I close them
I see you in my mind

I wrestle with my logic
The bar is set for fools
Mistaking beauty–for you
The bar has been removed

I wonder what you wonder
I wonder how you stare
I wonder why I wander into tables that are bare

I wreak of incompletion
My goal was in your eyes
I wonder if I hurt you more than pushing eyes can blind

The world is ever turning
The oceans fall and rise
Maybe it's the land that moves–the ocean cannot decide
Roman Mar 2019
I wrote a song about you
The first I've ever done
I've been playing seventeen years
You'll never hear it sung
If I have to breathe the lyrics
I'll set fire to my tongue
I never talk about myself
because then you could not run

I'm a lie behind a fountain
The sun is to the moon
I hate the outer space
I lay inside—entombed

The granite cast of actors
Their eyes are made of gold
I'll take their scripts and hearts and souls
and sell them for more gold
Your smile led me in circles
You sought for what you sold
It was simply circulation
Your hands were awfully cold

Take it while it's cold
It still won't splatter
Drink it on the stove
It still won't matter
Seal it's lips to kiss
It still won't chatter
Raze it's cropped to dust
It still won't gather
Strip it from its lenses
It still won't stare
Rip it from the moonlight
It still won't glare
Take it like a pill
It won't be taken lightly
It's in my heart—in yours
It will never grasp you tightly
It's never holding still

You simply can't deceive it
It just misunderstands
What's wrong with you, is wrong with me
You lack the essence of a friend
Things grow from roots that split
The strand means to an end
I don't like to say favorite
It has a way of changing plans

I'll look down at you
"Your hair—it still looks nice"
You'll look down at me
I won't be looking twice
Roman Mar 2019
An interest in indifference
Beneath my heart
I arrived alone
From the very start

Interested in difference
The sun was on my way
To hold my breath before I'd speak
To match my mind's forte


The certainty as a child
was brusque in all it paid
Gathering for keeping's sake
made keepsakes that have stayed
The nostalgia of my age

The heart would pool fully
Parents not at peace
Gripping my blanket's corners
My size–it would decrease
My ripples were at ease

Interestingly indifferent
It gave me all I made
It justified the center
of mistakes I had to make
The rock
The bus
The kid
The cuts
The run
The door
That turn
The anti-yearning
The core
The burn
That art of learning
Roman Sep 2018
Be kind, please rewind
To a time when time was all but nine
A time that filled itself with pride
A pride that fulfilled itself through mine

Be kind, please remind
To a mind that cleared itself at night
A faux pose in pictures, an absent sight
Like motion pictures with a lack of light

Be fine, redesign
An erasable head with a rolling supply
A post to guide my fixed eyesight
The tension is pinned between plastic and life

Be mine, realign
Our love's been layered, wound and shy
The price we paid to play it, right?
The tape is thin, we rolled our die

Be blind, believe in eyes
Alive and across a long divide
that ceased to exist outside of the tide
The place we are hidden that no one can hide and the place we all seek that no one can find

The godwashed

Just rewind. Be kind.
We ask the cosmos for only what we can fathom.
Roman Aug 2018
The rustic sheet of a door screams as we pull it like a scab
We step inside this warehouse can
Two floors - we're holding hands
His eyes lit like a crescent Moon - excited, he yells "daaad!"

Our head, like swaying swing
We see it all, tongue in cheek
Like controls without the freak
It's so much fun it stings

An asymmetric wasteland
Convenient and distorted
The walls - bleak and boarded
A symbolic sleight of hand

This is where we feel
My father's on the catwalk
Like paranoia paraphernalia
My son's grip tightens, it's the only thing that's real

Absolute felicity
To realize what I have in the confines of my hand
Imperfection in the making - he doesn't understand
Skylarking permissably

A reverie to remember
His smile - sifting through his eyes
Warm, he maneuvers like the flies
He was born in December

Moving closer to my father
He's amidst the in-between
Consistently foreseen
His motion is no bother

He steps along the ply
Somehow keen in his demeanor
Four-years-old, but greener
Tossed and turning - it's the gleaner

The sheet has been disturbed
He's falling to his death
I'm blanketed in sweat
This cannot be deserved

My father's eyes - they match my own
I tear through the distance
Foreseeing and consistent
My father is a witness

The fear - he's fighting falling
We've never known it more
His tiny hands just wishing there were nails
Collective - we're losing all things

I grasp a finger as he falls but not enough to bring him back
My son approaches pavement as it fills my throat the same
I look him in the eyes as they melt away in pain
My body wakes without my mind - hysterically screaming  "DAAAD!"
This happened to me. I awoke, but it didn't make the memory any better. Only the ones to come.
Roman Jul 2018
Her hair: intertwined with mine like fine lines in disguised pines
Our lives: making life like lovers do - letting our mistakes live to let ourselves

Who's who in this zoo built for two?

Will I find time to find the kind of mind that pries at mine despite the time I've formalized into time I can't divide?

I try to meet ends with the women that I meet, really never knowing me - like a fish without a sea and falling bird without a breeze - easily bequeathed with ways to satisfy and please

I evaluate the fragile and get diagnosed a cynic
I empathize with strength but get too into it to win it
I believe that I am different for the sake of being different but if everybody's different, then everybody isn't

I feel it is my life, and it's none of my ******* business

Hopeless romantic
I hope it's not malignant

Hope less, romantic
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