We were on a 2nd floor garden terrace. The three-quarter moon was doing its best to set a romantic, gin-mood, pouring a soft pastel-blue on the world, that softened hard edges.

A cool breeze wafted jasmine scents from a nearby tea-olive tree. We were alone, the only sounds were far off footsteps and my pounding heart. Wasn’t this romantic?  

Fueled twice by desire I had dressed carefully and modestly, with just a subtle, but fancy, hint of sluttiness. My costume, carefully vetted by a company of five, calculating, non-virgins, was designed to be both alluring and as abstruse as Kleenex. I was a doll dressed, painted and scented to ******. Wasn’t I romantic?

We’d never kissed before, and I wanted him to kiss me with an almost moaning force of will. I brushed my skirt down and checked that my hair was in place with quick, fleeting hand motions that could have been butterflies in the reflected light.

We were sitting close together, I could feel his warmth, but nothing was happening and then, as nothing continued to happen, I began to fret, to sag, what was the glitch? Maybe..

I felt a warmth, his breath, I looked up and he kissed me, gently, then moved back a little. I smiled. I wanted to laugh, to shout, to jump around like my team had won the Superbowl, but I was very still, lest I scare him off. Oh, there were butterflies somewhere.

He’s smart. His mind probes the infinite but sometimes neglects the immediate. I wasn’t expecting a smooth move from someone who’s all knees, thumbs and elbows but, hey, I’m capable, and willing, to learn.

Were we lovers
Or only good friends
I still don't know
Although in the same timezone
But somehow always in different seasons
We seem to miss one another
Like ships passing in the night
You seem to be doing well
Or so your pictures say
One never knows with you
Using your smile as a guise
But your eyes give you away
You are more transparent than you think
Wrapped in cellophane you are

Some random people are stuck in my head. They smiled at me and disappeared. Just transient smiles. I don't know why I recall them ten years later.

My eyes cant cry a river, so it just rains a puddle

if you'll look into its water you'll find, a huddle
of colours. A rainbow imperfect

Of the smiling yellows and the joyful reds

of the calming green, that had spread
like the mist over those meadows serene.

The painful black, the somber grey, had also found a way,
to enter my rainbow green

But for the sun that you lit in the sky of my eyes, a thousand such eclipses can I take.

I thought my dusk was eternal, and only the night was waiting ahead,

but for this sudden morning when my 15 yo self, came crawling out from being dead

give me a hundred lashes, and more I won't care,

for I'm still at my prime, I'm still singing and laying and whistling and running, in my dreamy flowery bed.

im addicted to you
to your laugh and your smiles
your "i havent seen you around in a while" 's
and i've made most of it up in my mind anyway
i romanticize the little things
like your bedroom and the way your t shirt clings
i can see our future so clearly its scary
its not happily ever after by any means
but its enough for now
its enough for us in our teens