When the only thing you've ever known breaks in front of you,
When your heart is grieving, so full of love, it hurts, it shatters,
There is no one to fault, no one to put the blame, just raw emotion,
There are no words, just tears of pain and anguish, not a life has been lost

No matter where this life takes us, whether near or far
You'll always hold this special place embedded in my heart
No matter how much time may pass, even when we don't speak
I am with you always and I love you endlessly

Most people think I'm crazy. I can see it in their eyes. They think I'm dumb for holding on, but they fail to realize, what we have is something special. You can't just lump this in a box, it goes so much deeper than all they know of human love and loss.

They have never felt a love like this, and they probably never will. It takes an ancient soul to comprehend that what we have is real. They say there are others out there, and while it might be true, I've never met another soul that gets me like you do...

My heart broke in two.
You didn't mean too
It's no ones fault
No ones to blame

Shattered and confused
You are our role models
And now you're apart
I don't understand

We always thought you'd be together
I guess life isn't perfect
You will always be our parents
New memories, new traditions

Our love will never stop
My heart still hurts
One day I might get it
For now I'll just trust

I miss you out of habit. I still find myself searching for your eyes and yearning for your touch even though we are no longer a we. It's just a you and a me now. It has always been so hard for me to deal with change, I always end up reaching across the other side of the bed, always thinking my fingers would still come across yours. I have spent so much of my heart loving you that I failed to see I would end up clawing at the air you used to warm with your presence and staring at blank spaces where you used to be. I miss you out of habit, the habit being us, but that habit has proven itself to be a bad one so we ceased to exist and we were replaced with untouched hands and empty spaces.

If I could take your place in death, would I?**

No.

I would rather bear the weight of the graves of grief and drown in the seas of sadness than let you know this kind of suffering. I would rather let my heart be torn in half out of loss than let yours be crushed by sorrow.

---

Yes.

You will feel pain and become empty and hollow but you will live and thrive and slowly be whole again and that will be enough for me as I smile down at you from the skies.

You were the exclamation point in the sentence of my feelings, a loud and restless reminder of the erratic beating of my heart whenever I saw you.

You were the comma in the first group of my thoughts, a promise of more, a promise of better days to come.

You were the parentheses in this world of paragraphs, keeping me safe within your arms, making me feel the good kind of different.

Yet too soon, you became a question mark in my head. I was slowly filled with doubt and uncertainty. You were my sanctuary but your walls were crumbling down, the beautiful book we were writing was falling apart.

You are the period. An ending. A conclusion. A warning sign that says this is the end. The problem was that I let you be anything that you could be, so you became punctuation marks in our story. You were an exclamation point, a comma and parentheses but you became a question mark and now, a period. I let you become anything so you became our ending. You are the period to the conclusion of our story but what I failed to see was that I was the one holding the pen. **You were the ending and I was the writer.

You talked like a song and I sounded like a poet. You saw the world like a sunrise and I only saw sunsets. Your favorite days were gloomy ones and I loved the rain.

We were alike but not quite. We were similar but not exactly the same. We weren't opposites but we were attracted to each other.

Our affection was stronger than the pull of a blackhole. We were quickly ****** into our own universe where we created our own world of songs and poems, of sunrises and sunsets, of gloom and rain.

But it was all an illusion, a sweet imagining, a lovely lie.

We were almosts, almost the same, almost the perfect equals. We had little differences but they were still polarities; and in the end, our ends didn't meet.

Sometimes I wonder,
if you would recognise me,
years later.
Where I would come up to you,
with a token of my love,
in a different city, in a different land.

Maybe I will disguise myself.
And I'll be fatter than I used to be,
and older and more tired,
of this life without you.

Would you still recognise me?
While I have made, in my mind,
Every permutation and combination,
of how you would look now and maybe
ten years later. Twenty even.
I would add weight to your body,
and wrinkles to your cheeks.
And present myself with your image,
Older but still beautiful.

But would you recognise me?
I wonder and fear,
that in your ignorance,
will be my death!