If I dare
To let go
I release
My control
And I can’t
Be here alone
With volatile
Sticks and stones.

If I dare
To be free
Then I’ll have
No more of me
Because shackles cold
And leashes gold
Are better than
The days of old.

If I had a dime for every instance
I self-sabotaged my own existence
I would be richer than Elon’s kids and
I would be shiny, and I would be drippin’
Something is missin’, you got my permission
To take a blade right to my wishin’

A self betrays
It dances through the maze
A sly saboteur within our core
Destroying dreams we once held dear

It whispers doubt, it fuels our fears
Tempting us with wasted years
A saboteur we cant evade
For in ourselves, its roots are laid

But hope still flickers, a steadfast flame
A chance to rise and break the chain
Embrace our flaws, learn to forgive
And self-sabotage, we shall outlive

i now cast to the shadows
(oh! i’ve really not grown)
for i now cast to the shadows
that which once shone
tender moments do rot
and whisper-words spoil
as i debase that which once freed me
good fortune recoils
maroon tinges my vision
self-treachery prowls
as i make the incision
with no hint of a howl
a jagged ***** you’ll find
reeling of love that fell flat
i did it; not you, r
dare not misconstrue that

Fear is a language all on its own.
Although broken, we understand soon
as we hear it.
No matter how well spoken
No matter how intuitive or savvy
We sabotage ourselves well after the
moment has passed.
I stepped outside of myself when I met
you.
Bilingual & open,
No matter how far you move or I.
I'll always remember you
I've memorized you in my heart
Where fear does not exist

For someone like me
being told you're getting
exactly what you've always wanted
is like being told that you have
24 hours to live.

Because nothing I've ever wanted
really, actually, down-deep wanted
has ever worked out.

The more important something was,
the more ****** up the eventual outcome.

This self-fulfilling prophecy has been
more reliable than any family
member, friend, or lover has ever been.

It's never let me down.

I rummage through dead leaves,
looking for any excuse to evaporate, like an abrupt mist into nonexistence.

I can justify my actions with one blink of an eye.
Regret does not sit in this mind of mine.
Would ruining my happiness make me complete?
No, it would not.
Yet I still chase it, like a gust of wind.