I helped you
You told me you're here too
I don't help for personal gain but
I'm hurting.
I'm hurting.
Please return the favor.
Please stop telling me to not be selfish.
All I asked was for some help.
I've listened to you talk about what's ailing you
I've helped you through it
You promised!
You promised you would be there for me!
But now that it's not about you, you don't care
You give me half hearted advice and change the subject to yourself
How you're hurting more, or how I'm too weak because you're hurting more and you're better than me

so I put my pain aside so you'll feel better for awhile

God I wish for something more
Empower me until said power sours me
Bitter poison, take a bite
Give me a reason for an extra step
I don't care if the stairs lead me no where
I just need something to climb

I'm not in the position to be wasting others time
You see I am simply a being of habit
Let me run, let me soar
The world can't bind expression
So give me something new
Give me more

The table's empty in front of me
When the drought came
It took everything, and left this
Along with a greatest fear
What no body would wish for
What hatred and vengeance cared for
It could take me heights
But for nothing, it will perish
From the top to the ground
It will collapse, leaving nothing
But hatred itself and loneliness
It's when I'll crave for company
From love and kindness
They still reach out to me
Stay with me, until I betray them
Again, for my own doom than good

Oh my, noone ever told me it would be this hard...
To be so in touch with your emotions,
Right from wrong,
But still choosing to do wrong.
Is it the selfish gene taking over,
Or is it the fear of the unknown?
Am I too caught up in the safety of this home,
To break through and be on my own?

you
once told me that
until we met,
rarely did you
ever recieve

and/or deserve any

form of
unconditional love,
care, or
kindness, while - even
in my chilliest nights -
never did you have
grace enough to

consider returning such
understanding. at least,
not to me. well,
times change...

There's triumph in each step
Walking timidly home
Looking down
So no one can see the grin
Spread generously across my face
Or the love marking my neck
Because, selfishly,
I want it all to myself.

I only want to me

©  2017 Jim Davis