A deep breath in
Let my world collapse
And rebuild on its own

Tear down those walls
By the bricks that I laid down
Tear down those walls
With the light of her world

It was perfectly reckless
The way you left me defenseless
You broke me in
Then let me down

A deep breath in
And the world is spinning around into the atmosphere

How can these words hold so much weight?
It was perfectly reckless
The way you left me defenseless

You took my hand and promised me the world. Like childish intentions you let
Me fall and I'm swimming among the ashes..

A deep breath in
Let my world collapse
And rebuild on its own

I do it

I get back up and do it again

I do it

So you don't cry

I do it

So I won't feel like a failure

I do it

Because I love you

I do it

Because I need to love myself

I get back up and do it again

I get back up and do it again

Sun rising on the horizon

I take a deep breath

All this will make sense

I smile and think of you

I smile and think of why I do this

I get back up and do it again

Because of you

The cold breeze
hits me, everytime
like never before
The darkness,
haunts me
the same way
my thoughts made me
an insomniac
The fog,
opened my eyes
nevertheless, I was blind
I have to remind myself
nature amazes me
On the shore of that same beach
I remember;
childhood traumas
misery
that time I wanted to vanish
and never be found again
But this time,
I didn’t cry
I didn’t shiver
I didn’t lose hope
I stood there
and accepted the truth
I merged my feet
with the cold water
I looked at the sky
So vivid, so blue
I knew it wasn’t always
the mediocrity of the universe
It was many things, at once
And I kept it to myself.

I've always found comfort
in your darkness.
The cold, heavy shroud
you invisibly drape around me
in times of weakness
and despair.

It feeds on the emptiness
that surrounds my heart and soul
with more and more emptiness.

Nobody can understand
the comfort I get
from this seemingly
unending sorrow.

But alas -
it is only temporary comfort.
Once I let go
of these dark shrouds,
I will finally see
the promise of a
better tomorrow;
but most importantly -
a better me.

Bound

Tie the knot
Tie the noose
Wrap your hands around my throat
So I know we are through.

Lay my head on the bed
Through my eyes, all I see is read.

In love and hate
In truth and lies

I hate that I needed you.
I hate that I wanted you.

Grind the words into my head.
I'll make sure to count every last thread.
I feel the void to numb the pain

But in the end, what's to gain?
In your hate
I found new love..
In the truth

I found true forgiveness.
Here we lie
Bound.
Knife to throat
In a coffin built for you.

You’ve known me since I started looking down at myself.
What the hell were you thinking when you said : “ I’d be there for you” ?
Isn’t it funny you were actually there to pick up my midnight calls,
Isn’t it funny you were actually rooting for my crusade against the trolls.
Well, I fed on your optimism, twined around it and faked my smiles.
You could’ve gone along with my act but you chose not to.

You’ve known how my dry frown turns upside-down
And yet you make me figure it out by myself.
You please yourself by seeing me out of my comfort zone .
You are selfish, you use me to tickle your funny bone
But I know you mask your good intentions behind the sly wink .
I’m no fool, turning a blind eye to the things you do.

You’ve known places I like to go on a Friday evening
But you take me to the hole I won’t even visit on a Monday morning.
It’s uncanny to face someone else’s fears with them
And you have walked the mile in my old-dusty boots.
I sometimes feel that you’ve reached out to my roots,
Reminded them of my unique existence or maybe resilience.

You’ve known , yes you’ve known it all
And you decide to stay and continue the journey with me.
What’s your intention, motivation, illusion ?
I used to ask these questions and found myself in delusion
But I don’t care anymore about anything and everything.
I’ve known too, maybe not enough but I will always try.

Back when I had lost all my friends and the last lover sat there behind the barred door, she would gather me up with so much warmth.

      She knew I could not be without rhythm. So she played the harp for me. Caresses from hushed lullabies sitting against the windowsill.

      She wept when she saw me naked. I pretended I did not see. She bathed me in flowers and silk.

      Her touch sang mellow tunes on my discolored skin. And her eyes held my soul still, cuddled me as if I was once in her womb.

      Tender, careful breathing into my lungs she did. I looked at her. She only smiled. The air sounded an apology.