let's sway as the honey runs through our veins
let's forget ourselves as we stand on the edge
you really struck a nerve on me
you really made me forget myself

this is nearly the end
for you and me could be
but from far behind I will just forget about the end
you keep staring at me
even when I'm down
I almost feel as confident
as you

I found myself sitting down in the pool
chloride blue
no surprise this is often how it's done
but lately it's about all you can take
but mainly it's because your life it's the same

maybe the scars won't matter when I'm asleep

There is a vacancy in my heart,
One that tears me apart.
A vacancy in my soul,
A gaping, ghastly hole.

I am shoveling things into the spot,
Oh how resiliently I have fought.
Yet the world does not see me suffer,
Its forces in response become tougher.

I am tempted to taste forbidden fruit,
Dagger, pills, then dresses and suits.
Solemnly bowed heads, grieving eyes,
A weeping woman whom I despise.

Alas, I would not see these things,
These awful things that funerals bring.
Like ants from the woodwork they'd appear,
As if they ever cared about my fear.

Mommy, drink another beer.
Go ahead and do it.
Mommy, cast another leer.
You will regret it.

Everything you touch will die,
Everyone you love will cry.
To be associated with you is pain,
There is nothing to be gained.

To be miserable is to embrace you,
No matter what I try to do.
Self-harm is hidden from your sight,
For you love this awful plight.

One day it will change,
Happiness is within range.
I need to last until that time,
When the exit bell will chime.

I will be gone like those you have lost,
For you have ruined me with frost.
Unlike those who have died,
My departure will be a chosen ride.

When my heart is heavy, when my mind is buzzing
painting my heart in a picture, hard-pressed graphite
cures my soul
When my heart is shattered, sinking, when my mind is trapped
when my hands and paper are no longer any cure
a masterpiece of crimson and alabaster is created

She used her skin as a canvas
She didn't want to be on this planet
Her emotions were void
Her heart was destroyed
If only I knew she had planned it

My fear complements your addiction,
For it controls me in such a way;
You have had me under your palm
From the very first day.

It is a terrible thing, to live with trauma,
And to relive that trauma on a daily basis;
I have discovered, mother,
That you have many faces.