I took down my clouds and my stars
Exhausted and frightened of my pain.
As I began to pack my heart away
He took my hand and whispered my name.
He unpacked the box of night and day
Smiled, and wiped my tears away.

And like that,
I learned
to love again.

Break me apart
Split open my sides
Let me bleed every reason
For me to give you
One more chance
You do not deserve

But I will give it to you anyway
Because what is one more
Crack in the glass
What is one more
Stitch in my heart
What is one more scar
To last me a lifetime

What is one more memory
To break me at the thought of you
You have already burned your smile
Into every brainwave
So that every time I hear another boy's laugh
I can’t help but hear your voice
Like a sweet melody in my ear
I can’t help but picture
Your smile on their faces

So what is one more
Heartache in the long run
What is one more chance
When in the end
It always comes back to you

I haven't seen you in two years
We haven't talked for a year and some months
Everything ended so badly
I had convinced myself that I was over you
But when you saw me, you asked to talk
I said Okay
Than that phrase, I'm sorry
You said I miss you and I still love you
My heart melted and I caved
We're talking again and I feel happy
Part of me thinks I'm making a mistake
The other part thinks we might work out

Old souls burn out young.
We've been here before,
the wasted youth,
AKA- the recycled material
Yeah you know who I'm talking about right?
The once upon a time obedient souls
that never disobeyed orders and followed the rules.
They died and live through us-
The wasted youth.
We are their second chances,
Their opportunity of another life-
where they don't give a care in the world
but to live recklessly.
Being rebellious with no direction.
Wasted lives,
like Lotto money that was won
and spent reckless because it isn't really 'YOURS'
isn't it?
You just won that money,
just like you won that second life.
The 'you' that held back when you were alive
about a century ago is living through the new age:
Now all that you are is the wasted youth.
You live in me

Why do the drops of blood
Stain the pristine paper
That is my soul?
I did not wish to bleed
Yet my wounds persist to flow
I tell my heart to heed me
Go slow

Why do the drops of tears
Stain the cheeks so dull?
Sighing into forever
Hopelessness immortalized
Yet my silent cries
Go unheard
As emotions vie
For supremity

Why do the drops of water
Promise a redemption
A vibrant baptism?
The peroxide eating into my sin
Stains fading into oblivion
Behind curtains of memory
Under fountains of love

(c) Anavah 2018

It’s a Perfect Day to Die
Can’t tell ground from sky.
A mist of cold cruelty breathes
Foul and unforgiving in my face.
And I feel peace,
Sad. Peace. Surrender
Sad for what could have been
Sad for gifts carelessly squandered
Like a child with too many toys
Sad for the legacy that should have been.
For the casualties I have left
In my wake of selfish insanity.
Sad to be stuck in this skin I can’t shake,
But perhaps I can break,
In a million pieces, so it is unrecognizable
From the whole it was
And a new whole becomes
With new gifts and opportunities
To appreciate, and cherish
And hold tightly this time
Surrounded by souls
That surrounded me here
In a circle of love and forgiveness
And second chance
It’s a Perfect Day to Die.

Every night, i’m awake and I lie in bed.
My heart feels broken, but also sad.
Can’t do anything about this feeling.
This felt like my biggest beating.
Why didn’t I have a 2nd chance.
Why did my heart get struck by a lance.
Everyone I do right, does me wrong.
My efforts were hopeless all along.
Truth is for the time, we had it great
So devoted to our game, I stayed up late.