When I was young,
Forty-five inches, about forty-five pounds.
All I wanted was a bond, one with-
You at least.
Jeering was all I received. The bond
A bond I wanted with you. Caught were you
Between love with her. Want she saw.
Want she withdrew. She held back what I wanted
Most.
Bonds with you.

You'd think I grew out of it;
Pent up emotions.
You know? Some nights,
Some days-
They suffocate me. How painful to-
Live on such breathlessness.
Refreshing you say? I think not!
To watch all the love,
Attention and delicate care you should have been the
One to get. To watch it wave like a tattered flag.
Right before your face. Refreshing I deem,
Not! But a crime to both-
Live and die.

To hell with bonds I say.
To hell with a bond,
Consisting of both-
You and I.

What good is a day lived alone?
Wasted, nothing but solitude,
Conversations with dusty flowerpots,
Excuses for a bad mood.

Waiting for someone to stop and chat,
Call, or text, or leave a note,
Pour water down your chimney
To assure you stay afloat.

Don't wallow in self-inflicted seclusion,
Go and discover some company,
Instead of spending this weekday alone
Isolated, bitter, reveling in lonely.

Time lingers on an endless array
For just out the window screen
I watch many of my nights turn to days

Alone as you are your mind begins to drift
To thoughts of past pleasures
As it recedes into a darkened abyss
For what you feel is of an other worldly pain
As you hold on for a new season with no coming change

At times it is pleasant as you are soothed
At times it seems as if death is of the only way to break through
Silence fills the air of your odds and end conscious
No speech for days, silence is the only remaining constant

And as you walk down the street on an afternoon strole
Across two lovers you find transfixed in each others hold
Desperation and longing fills the space which that warmth did abound
Slowly a destitute darkness begins to violently resound

For what others have seems lie just out there
Not quite within grasp but in the distance of your stare
And while you dream of days filled with joy and love
Only to be replaced with black vision hovering above

You try and attempt on an odds and ends affair
Only to be tossed out in the cold left with despair
For what is it to try if the outcome remains the same
Who is that upon which should be left to blame

For socialization and true love are that but a dream
Some creation of man to place his mind at ease
For is anyone really filled with such a feeling  
Or is it that my curse upon which all have receded

Green.
That peeks through my window
and craddles me to sleep.
Green.
That caresses my hair and whispers sweet.

Green.
That sips the vibrant rain
and drinks the dew deep.

Green.
I seek your blood that accepts no creed.
Green, I live.
Green, I bleed.
Green, I find no color so keen.

We all tell lies, lies so deep
We all have secrets that aren't ours to keep
We all have feelings we're battling with,
Decisions to make, to die or to live?
Deep inside of us all there is a fear, that the only way to be happy is to cut yourself ear to ear
The worst part of it all is that even when we think we do we have no one to call
So go now, get out of this well, but whatever you do don't take the wrong road or you'll end up in hell
The devil will ask how you know your way around the halls of hell, and you'll reply by saying, I don't need a map to navigate a darkness I know so well.

A girl did often sit
bubbled in her wit
to keep her from his hands
and his darker plans
refusing to submit

Drunken nights he always tried
hunched over her bedside
she learned to just play dead
taking solace in her head
while her youth was crucified

In her bubble she did stay
never to go astray
too afraid to begin
awkward in her skin
no fresh air, just decay

It's hard here on the ground floor, surrounded by the street.
The scenery a still-frame, a cell set to repeat.
I don't see your colors now, that patch of blue's gone gray
I hear your laugh cut through crash of just another day
Time, again, finds us alone...
in the crushing nothingness of the crowds
I just want it to be gone
Want to shed my shadows among the clouds

It's quiet here in the recent past, reliving a silent beat,
An echo too weak to distinguish, yet still moving the Earth 'neath my feet.
Still the subtlety's hard to decipher, the nuance is lost in the stroke
I numb any phantoms that linger, the world is cloud of smoke.
And time and again, it pulls me through
Running headfirst into hell.
Full circle, it seems, in whatever I do
Stopping just this side of well.

It's fleeting here in so-called prime of this distraction known as living
And I haven't asked for more than I have, but I'm taking what they're giving.
A single spark in the midst of a fire doesn't seem to warm the soul
But that same small flame can change the game if you add a little coal
We're hardened now, by time and heat
The pressure's always on
But maybe, when our time's complete
We'll be diamonds before we're gone.

Silver boulder nestled upon the grass,
As the surface collects the sheer sunlight.
This stone retains the warmth which does not last,
While my fingers against the hard stone write.

The rock absorbs cold air upon nighttime,
Adapts to each climate it is within.
Diverse foliage surrounds all which doth chime,
Sounds of nature are to beauty akin.

I rest upon the stone, feeling the air,
A force which grasps like a warm and fond hand.
Sunlight filters through the sparse trees, so fair,
While some music cues in my head, unplanned.

This is my place—solace from all truth,
A place which does ignite my life, my youth.