you sold your savior in the papers
he was a lanky man, with eyes red and bloodshot
the press shoved his face in everyone’s faces
tangled his poster beauty in bleached hair
does it pay to be lied to
does it make it seem more bearable?
and have you seen their intimidation tactics
their ways to force you to believe their scam
your savior looks like he would abandon you in a minute in a strange situation
be careful who you trust
being truthful is inferior, supposedly
so is being a decent human being apparently?
such behavior is anomalous to me
if you want a savior, then go be free
southern skies
it’s all north from here—catharsis
you didn’t like your savior
impossible to please, ever consider locking yourself up in a cage with the lanky man in your dreams?
he has belts and chains and violent ways
and he uses his pain to manipulate
it’s all north from here—it’s evil in disguise
when lying is the only thing that soothes your mind
he was red and unrelenting
and it was the heat stroke that made it serious
did he save you or he did just come to scramble up the honesty?
it’s all south from here—secure in doubt, a running nightmare, sleep paralysis woman
if you want a savior, too bad, he already left you
with the moonlight, with the pure fright
bring a flashlight
—
but it’s not his fault you abandoned him
left him by the gas station
with his hands buried in his chest, his knees clutched breathlessly
it’s not his mistake you’re misguided, he wants you to be his child
you’re a flame and he’s just gasoline
lit him up and now the boils are forming
how dare you throw him out in the garden?
bruised, purple marks of bitten flesh
left by such a disingenuous mess
oh, the soothing ocean waves
against the southern palisades
you dug him into his grave
don’t you dare cry now that he’s laid
you punished him for a mistake
he bleeds for you—for your pain
“insane head on that woman, she just needs someone to hold her”
that’s what they all say
but a woman doesn’t just blindly rage without a whisper in her left ear
but you sold your savior out
for a couple dimes, you proud?
do your teeth sink into the battleground
right above his bleeding crown?
panic sets in, he’s abandoned
you made him your weapon
to wield against the inevitable
against the powerful
don’t you dare start feeling sorry
you may have confused him amidst your fury
but your savior is perfect, ain’t he?
such a perfect—perfect reflection of what you
want to see
wrote the first stanza a while ago. i didn’t want to post it yet, but now i fixed it cause ethel cain inspired me lolz.
started: 4/30/23
finished: 5/31/23