that day broke me.
a part of me left.
I don't know
if it'll come back,
if I'll be me again.

but I'm trying.
I'm picking myself up,
taking small steps,
looking for the missing part.
I hope to be me again.

I don’t wear my heart on my sleeve, so it’s ok if you tug on it...

One little voice was a piercing light through the bleak days I now know from a grateful distance,
It uttered with confidence a beautiful perception of what I believed was a woeful existence,
That gentle voice loved all that I was with a fierce and resounding persistence,
  On days when I could heed nothing but hate, the voice ran to my aid and met hate with resistance.

One loving voice stayed near to my soul and traded my loathing for a love steadfast and sure,
It taught me to mend hurts that are hard to forgive and cherish a life I did not believe I could endure.
A kindness that reached the core of my being rendered this pitiful human secure,
And despite all that went before, despite indignities done, that little voice dared to call me pure.

I thought the storm had passed
and that wreckage had been avoided.
Against the current my whole pirate life,
uncaring of the opinions of others,
and focus on the rowing at hand.

The gray and thrilling sky
make the dark sea water seem ferocious.
The risk of lightning had never crossed my mind
before tonight when I suddenly realized I was alone
on a boat in the sea
and in the middle of a storm.

I steer with my left
and dump bucketloads of water with my other hand.
Focused on damage control
and ignorant to the the storm's prognosis
whilst my wooden mind struggles to stay afloat.

Row forth and onward.
This storm too shall pass,
and I'll come out stronger.

You waltz through this hell
Like it’s just a park
You laugh at them
They’re afraid of the dark
Because you’ve seen worse
Oh so much worse
They’ve had it easy
You’ve had the inverse
You’ve fought the long night
You’ve faced the fierce fire
They’re out of breath soon
But you just don't tire
They begin to cry
At every small burn
They don’t have the tolerance
You’ve had to learn
You walk through the fire
Like it’s so amusing
Though your heart’s burning
And your soul’s bruising
Because you’ve gone numb
To all of the pain
It’s left a permanent
Stain on your brain
And now you laugh
At the fire and flames
You know better than
To play their games
You know how to live
Forever burning
But won’t you teach me,
I’m still learning
I haven’t swam through
Infernos as long
Living with my heart on fire
Still feels wrong
So teach me to brave
The pain within
And teach me to waltz
Through hell with a grin

Glaze my mind's last bough with gold,
For it is waning like a face that has been carved by sorrow,
Reside, perched upon it like a robin in the cold,
Whose bold colour can't help but alight hope for tomorrow.

Though I wander, listlessly within this bleak time,
And a daily load upon my back has been thieving my vigour,
There is a guile still inside that is rightfully mine,
And an idea, born of strength, that is infinitely bigger.

I have been built upon a strong foundation,
Your attempt at erosion can do nothing or little,
A dignified and discerning heart beats within,
I will tell you in earnest, it is neither breaking nor brittle.

My sky does still have dark clouds to be cleared,
But such beauty they endow to a distant position,
Suffering has not marred those colours revered,
Tragedy and triumph are allied in this, life's war of attrition.