I realized I have a voice
But when I want to speak
You just covered your ears
Why you're making me weak?

You knew I fell down
But when I tried to stand
You asked me, "Why move on?
No one will hold your hand."

You knew I was drowning
But when I tried to swim
You said, "Go back
and be drowned with him!"

You believed in traditions
That can hurt and ****
What is there in the name
That's not worthy to heal?

They say losing a loved one is the worst thing you could go through.
Suicide.
******.
Heartbreak.
Divorce.
Miscarriage.
The whole nine yards
But no one ever really mentions reputation.
For me reputation has engulfed my whole life.
Caring so much about
What other people think.
Image.
Late nights
Wondering whats wrong with you.
Wondering why
you cant look like her.
And wondering why boys
steer clear of you like a virus.
For me
I contributed all of this uncertainty
to one event in my life.
And for some reason i think if i got the opportunity
To go back in time,
I would.
Maybe.
And teenagers, especially girls
Crave affection.
You have no idea what a girl would do
To feel something
Even for just a minute.
People call us names for looking for affection.
****.
*****.
Thirsty.
But how were we supposed to know
That this so called
"Affection"
Wasnt real?
How were we supposed to know
That we would get
Played
And used?
Yet we do it more than once
In hopes that
Someone.
Will surprise us.
Dont get me wrong,
My life isnt terrible
None of those things i mentioned before
Have ever happened to me,
But reputation has.

Spilled the water
but did not mind.
Worry not,
it can go on it's own.
Clear it up
it's up to you
Let it dry and
watch it go in a blink of an eye.

You chose to take a step
and there it was.
Colored with dirt
all around and left a mark
You thought it was funny,
but see who's laughing now.
Fine by me
No hellos, no goodbyes.

As the sun sets upon the horizon,

Without poetic justice,

I do not prevail.

My mind troubled,

Obfuscated by the irony,

Of everyday situations.

Purity,

Tarnished.

Joy,

Vexed.

As the sun sets.

I have a reputation
One I wish would go away

But this world has no magic
For that I'd have to pay

I've met my one and only,
I've met him once or twice.

And I know a lot of stories
No single one tells my vice.

Twice I've tried
Twice I've died

I breathed in a kind of life
Which conformed to that one I evoked
Carried my own identity
Which I valued so much
Gaining honor from the league
Yes, I was distinguished.

You offered me your name
So pure and white to my eyes
Accepted, love and nurtured it
Like what I have done to mine.

We echoed to the world
The best alliance we have
Glowing and sparkling like a diamond
But only for a moment in time.

The force between us was great
Pushing us to opposite directions
The friction became so intense
Which created the flame of ire.

Why not?
You ruined the thing I valued the most
Crashed it behind my eyes
With your selfish plans
Of which became sharp knives
That cut it all.

My name, my precious name!
Was now but a ***** rag into their eyes
And nothing I have done
But a thousand sighs and cries in the dark.

In my dark moments I remembered
The pledge that we have made
And so I stood and dressed up
Walked in nobility
Breathed the same air
Just like before
Ah, I have to win this task
Though only risks were all displayed.

I fought for you
For our name, for our life
But you left me alone in the dark
Cleaning that messy ground
With such sticky dirt
That are hard to wipe out.

Now I am trying to breathe again
In the same way I once knew
Hoping that I may redeem
My name that once they revered.