Moon shining brightly
Moon light my way
I am between shadows
The horizon is grey

Then as I grow weary
a rose blooms in the sky
The birds sound so joyful
I no longer ask— why?

The world felt so empty
and charity cold
But this day brings me hope
I no longer feel old

Thorns dig in deep,
stabs of bitter pain,
testing what it will bear,
was it ever meant to last?

Fragments scattered about,
spilling tears and sorrow,
the end looming near,
basking in darkness and despair.

A faint glimmer of hope,
like the sun bursting through the clouds,
within its renewed embrace,
love stands strong and proud.

love has broken limbs,
yet it stands tall,
piercing through sorrows,
it breathes free.

I wish I could write something
That pierced the wool
Pulled over your eyes.
Your depression, your nihilism;
The things keeping you coupled
To the miserable lense of your life.
Cause there are so many things,
That are just perspective.
And everything else,
We could work through together.
I fear you can't imagine, what
It would be like, to improve.
Walk the world afresh, renewed.
Just so long as you're comfortable,
It doesn't matter if you're happy.
We could be something wonderful,
But you can't see.
That's the real tragedy

Dew
Early morning
Grace like rain
Renewed day by day
Tranquility




Mark Toney © 2021

I search for him,
he who would take my pain
and carry it as his own

even just for a moment,
so I that I could feel what it is to breathe without this weight on my ribcage.

They walk
through
my gates

through my garden,

and see the ugliness of my pain
holding court in the center,
and would flee in fear
and disgust.

And each time I sat next to
my pain,
holding its hand
and
letting my tears nourish the earth around
its deep roots
that wind through,
because nothing and no one else
dared to go nearer.

I sat, the only company my pain
has ever known
and told it with damp eyes that watch
the abandon,
that they are beautiful
just as they are,

and that men that can't see
beauty
in pain,
are simply boys
playing.

And each time,
my heart bleeds a little less.

And so I sit in wait
with the only real company
I've ever known
and hope for more,
tomorrow.

I'm sad.
And that's okay.

This heaviness in my heart
is not mine alone,
I carry it for my mother
and my father
and his mother

I carry it for her husband

who quickly became
the demon
sleeping in the
shadows
that then became
a
stain
who's faint edges
still linger.

Deep and bruised
like my heart
after that day
confused and
oh, so green

I was already shedding
my innocence,
but you stole
hers

in one moment.

And for this
she
starves
herself
of nourishment

of unadulterated
joy

her body,
something she feels
shame
about

all because you thought
every
body
was yours
to be played
with.

Thrown against the wall
fragility will not find home in my bones
I have picked myself up from the hardwood
more times than you could understand.
the moon has traced my tears
as they fell down the golden, cracked
floral and lace, carefully absorbing them
into its tides. a controlling force in itself —

I became her.  

This time, I say hello to you in a different
light. a light that is my own as my strength
shoves through you in waves… a power that
sweeps you off your feet.