screaming to nothingness is painful.
my throat is raw,
begging to be felt
tears masking my strength;
blinding my vision.
I cannot be heard but I yell louder.
I’m trying so hard for you.
The nothingness is your deaf ears,
my words falling onto them,
Ignoring my pleas.
Hear me.
Why won’t you listen?

quick figurative brush stroke drawn out character sketch
(serendipitous verisimilitude)

i stand in awe
(with mouth agape) at elegiac, fantastic,
   and graphic idyllic Kinkade magic
   leaving breathlessness from craw

at such artistic talent oozing
   spellbindingly, whatever
   aforementioned noteworthy craftsman
   didst paint or draw,

and chanced to comment
   about sad affairs leaving flaw
in regard to questionable business ethics -
   where press hee haw

contradicting, maligning, undermining, and jaw
boning sans said late talented mortal
   engaging in sketchy traits of south paw

city when contrasted with a dog given gift -
   ooh...such rah...rah...rah
when he first appeared on the scene,
   where most viewers saw

utmost dynamic, fantastic,
   and harmonic convergence
displaying such prosaic, rhapsodic,
   titanic art show events

hum...and perhaps not surprising
   his illicit in dull gents presents stark contrast,
   staring hypnotized as imagination invents
experiencing peaceful, restful
   and tumblerful joie de vivre espying

   honorable mentioned nonpareil oeuvre
   that placidly rents
craving to disappear into bucolic landscape whence,
splashed upon canvass,

attempting to bat
presumed "FAKE" rumors aside as nonsense - fat
chance prevailed constituting:
   deceitful, immoral, unfaithful sly kat
nocturnal antics, despite scathing attacks

   (cut him down to size), niggardly praises spat
out for me, I maintain cult of personality (his)
   setting Mac Book Pro wallpaper
   with exemplary landscape,
   either authentic or copy cat.

I love, when you unzip the layers of your personas,
letting me peek behind the mask
Revealing your raw edges
allowing me to be your haven from the world of facade.

I love, when you strip down your heart, 
unfold your thoughts, 
share your inner struggles
and pour your secrets into my ear
allowing me to be your sanctuary.

I love, when you lean your head on my shoulder
let my hands hold yours
and you let your tears flow
allowing me to be your solace.

I love, when you’re vulnerable and raw with me
making me one of the very few of those
who knows the darkest and brightest part of your mind,
and who are deeply embedded in your heart.

I dare you to peel away my skin,
dig in my flesh and pull me out
of this ******* shell I’m in.
Leave me raw and pink,
A sunburn from your soul,
that righteous light, the missing link.
Fill a hollow heart that doesn’t beat
but you’ll find in a corpse,
it just won’t keep

you are not who
everybody wants you to be

you are you
and that is far
more than enough

I was set aside by my own accord.
  I chose to live in a world of subtle   loneliness,
hiding who I was,
remaining hidden in the shadows of
ever green hope and dismal
sorrow.


I hid from love.
    I hid from affection.
   I hid in fear of risk,
    and I couldn't, for
  risk brought me too much pain.

My prowess kept me away,
it let me leave without as much
as a glimpse being slipped
back in the direction of
my betrayal.

****** and battered.
Weeping and crying.
That's what it took, but
you accepted that.
You embraced it for the
sake of my sanity,
for the sake of love.

    You gave in, and I
  wanted to run, just
   as I always had.

I prepared for it.
Your words frightened me,
but your actions only did worse.
Your kindness was beyond
that of another that I had ever met.

  That's when I planned to
take my leave, but when
I turned on my heel,
when I took a few steps away,
I
  Hesitated.

That's when you had me,
that's when I knew I couldn't leave,
but I had to.
Didn't I?

It's all I knew.
  I only knew to leave
when there was good
because sooner or later
there would be only be pain.

That's all there ever was,
and I was to blame.

You waited for me, and
I shakily turned around,
obliging to the pull
you had over me.

I'd been there before, but there you were,
and in that moment I knew I
wouldn't have to run away;
I knew you made
me feel something deep and raw,
something that only natural emotions
could restore in my fractured
mind and heart.

I risked it;
I wasn't afraid of the outcome,
for being away from you
suffocated me
more than any small space could,
more than any wave that rolled
over me in
an endless cycle could.