I watched the heavens open up
And cry souls in forms of rain drops
Smacking the pavement around us

I'm on a carousel
Riding the stars
On a one way path up

My heart beats so loud that
You turn to me and ask
If I can play that melody louder

I watch your fingertips
Paint imaginary masterpieces
Over the curves of my breast

I'm still riding the stars
Tongue twisted & choking
On the emotions I can't spill out to you

Ready to put my knives down
Surrender my heart
Open my soul
Give my all

To you &
only you

I want this now
I want this forever

I saw life
In searing white and blue
as I fought to keep control
Purple roses bloomed
in that absence
A psychedelic day dream

I was chicken
dropped only a half tab--a quarter before midnight  
and hurried back to my apartment
before the day changed    

from a Monday
to a ruby Tuesday  
where my walls melted
and music smelled like sassafras;
the flickering flares of light from two fat candles  
tasted like toasted almonds    

every eternal hour, or minute,
or so, I would try to tiptoe down the hall  
past the sleeping neighbors who were all dreaming
of me, skulking past their locked doors

but I never made it to the street
a feat that would have demanded
I stop giggling, and my heart stop thumping
for any pig or narc could have seen
my crimson machine pumping
ready to fly from my chest    

dawn did finally come--I was
coming down, down from the floor
on which I had lain from the minute
a ferocious fly dive bombed me
somewhere around three  

I walked to the corner grocery store
where I bought pan dulce, and was glad the clerk
spoke no English, for surely she would have asked me
to tell her how I survived such an aerial assault  
in peacetime

Darkness leaped in, smothered my psyche.
Led me down a hall, into the cinema I went, not willing.
A theatrical presentation, an outcry ensued.
Perception forever altered.
A mind completely new.  
My ideals, my dreams, dissipating with the ending scene.
Go forth I did, dashing into the illuminating beam.
A challenge of realization, no immediate hesitation.
Advancement granted, the understanding,
of another dimension.  
Speechless, words cannot explain.
Abandoned, with nothing left.
An experience to entertain,
while under the dancing rain,
Vanity's Game.

You are not defined by the mistakes you make
You are not defined by your success either
You are not the identity your parents gave you
You are more than the body you inhibit
You feel this truth
You know this truth
You know that trying to pinpoint where your consciousness lies is impossible
You exist outside of this reality
You are timeless
You will not cease being when your heart stops beating
You will go on

Because you are part of source
Part of the fabric that is all known existence
All you know is part of you
All you know is you
You are everything

Poetry doesn't always have to rhyme.
Sometimes it's just how you see life
Or how life sees you
Or sees itself.
It's a strange concept- life.
I was once asked by a younger friend of mine, although I am merely twenty-three, what was the meaning of life?
I, like many others, didn't know the answer to such a complex question, but still I pondered it.
I recalled a moment in my life where I had been experimenting with marijuana, not as a means of simply getting baked, but as a tool to experience.
In one of my psychedelic wanings between time and space, I found myself asking questions.
I swirled into myself, my true self, and found that, from my perspective, life is meant as an experience.
To live
To love
To feel
To learn
To understand
To teach to others what we have learned.
And in knowing this- life, and the world I see from my infinitely finite point in this mass of perplexities, became all the more beautiful.
I began to see things as others do.
And still, it was beautiful.
Beautiful, because I was allowed by the creator to experience and wonder the poetry that has been laid before us.

I’ve dreamed I was falling asleep
And shaking myself to keep awake.
There’s only so much weirdness
And crap a poor dreamer can take.
It was all involved with friends you see
That I don’t see now, because they
Were stranger than my dreams
Or maybe I was. Back in the day.

I would be partying with them
And walking remembered streets
But I’d look around and everybody
Found other people to go meet.
Then suddenly the Hollywood
I knew and loved for twenty years
Became Kansas City boulevards
And Hollywood totally disappears.

Or maybe I’m coming home
At the end of a tiring long day
And look around, find myself
Saying, no way. No effing way;
This is not my apartment!
It’s fine, I kind of like the place
But someone is pulling a joke
The housekeeping is a disgrace.

Then someone would come in
Who I was supposed to know
And this chick is my roommate?
Oh, no. This woman has got to go.
But before I can get my head
Wrapped around standing up
My family is there too, cooking
Handing me a steaming hot cup.

Well,, now I can’t offend them
So, I sit my *** back down.
I don’t want to seem ungrateful
Like some unfunny kind of clown.
******, I leave to go for a walk
Thinking I am in Tucson but then
This is the Country Club Plaza
And I’m back in Kansas City again.

One time I was building something,
Under an expensive sort of contract
But none of the sub-contractors
Or the assistants knew how to act.
They were putting the thing together
Like a Rube Goldberg machine.
I was going ballistic on them all;
The ugliest thing I had ever seen.

These are the dreamworlds for me
On a regular, but often bizarre basis.
Streets change while walking
And people I know change their faces.
Or I am tasked to do something
Involving technology or looming mass
I end up getting no help at all
And wind up falling right on my ***.

Dreamily the stardust gathers
Deep inside black
Soulful vibrations exploding like candy
The clouds shades colors of light
Erasing the burnt toast

Upside-down I am
I have lost part of me
Inside the ocean

Down the hole
Into unknowingness
A place shied away from
A pool closed for winter
Guarded by walls of swords
Cut my sides open
Fall into a blueness

The future in a fog coat
Can't remember even being here
I've lost the time of day
And the sun and moon
Mysteriously disappear
And appear again

A want of the flutter of wings
A loss of gravity
Landing on the floor
To see the white shine
And glowing stardust
To dive into a place
Of youthful adventure
Of roaring fires
Of heightened senses
Of quiet glances

The words twisting my spine
The thoughts racing mind
Can't describe
Lost in a place
A dance in slow motion
A blender blending
Our souls into smoothies

And I know I'm alone here
Swallowed in my own fear
The glass breaks and falls
Only those claws
Scratch a bone within
Begging to let you in.

Feel the psychedelic beat
it makes me complete
gives a lazy Sunday
a new kind of heat

hate  ol' Sunday
no good 'xcept for gin & old ladies
but now there's
this psychedelic beat

give it to me, Momma
sock it to me, Pappa
let me feel the heat
of this psychedelic beat

turning the world
into acid rainbows

My views on society are,"people without meaning"
One day I strolled the block, seen a girl, tears streaming
Out her eyes, people mocked as she began to cry
And as sister would view it, I viewed it as unright
As the crowd cleared, I steered my way into her own
And as I enclosed her zone, it appeared that she had shown
Gratitude, it was as if she never had a friend before.
At last, he began to tell me what she sniveled for
"I get called a *****, *****, ****, on a daily basis.
I can't even face myself sometimes, at this rate
I want to end it all, don't even have no one to call a mother
Caused she died, that's right. Checked out in front of my eyes
***** still tragic, I guess that's what happens when you live deadly
I ain't clean, I drink heavily
Hennessy and **** is all I need
Basically, I'm a huge embarrassment
It ain't hard to tell I'm not doing that well.
Highway to hell and I'll gladly be there.
The same fate as my mother, it's a very fitting fare."