He was a galaxy, she was part of every song
He was in my bed, she was in my head
He could give me the future I want, she can give me the excitement I need
He was happiness and she was pleasure
He was hope and she was nostalgia

She is a girl

She has two sisters, a dog
And a pair of worn-out headphones in her pocket

She is fifteen

She plays violin in the school orchestra
And sings duets in the sun

She is left-handed

She’s also pansexual
(Just thought you should know)

<><><>

She is a girl
(A different girl, mind you)

She has bright hair and dark eyes
And a sky of freckles spanning her body

She is a netball player

She listens to everything that’s said
And laughs at everything in response

She is an Aquarius

Her girlfriend is an Virgo
(Is this what they call diversity?)

<><><>

He is a boy

He is on the males’ baseball team
And recites prophetical speeches in the dugout

He is an early riser

He likes old-fashioned comedy movies
And his favourite colour is either orange or black

He is graduating next year

He’ll finally get to ask his school’s star pitcher to prom
(Finally is the right word)

<><><>

‘She’ is a boy
(A different boy, mind you)

‘She’ lives in the countryside
And travels 2 hours to campus each morning

‘She’ is a realist

‘She’ studies human relations
And has wanted to visit Rome since 'she' was eight

‘She’ is a part-time barista

‘She’ prefers the pronoun ‘he’
(No big deal if you forget though)

<><><>

They are people

They have people they love
And people who love them

They are people

They may have changed to you
And yet they haven’t changed to themselves

They are people
They are still people

<><><>

(Just thought you should know)

<><><>

To the people who don’t or won’t support me,
I don’t live in your solitary reality.
I see the world in an equal and just perspective,
It’s affective, connected, receptive, near-perfected.
So I’m not going to heed your advice,
I knew as soon as I saw her, what I think is right,
I’m going to do what I was put here to do,
I refuse to listen to you and your out-dated views.
You say you will go to the city in the sky,
Way up high in the clouds, after you die,
And you say people like me will go to H-E-L-L,
Then I’m glad I’m not near you and your homophobic smell.
Plus, sending me back to my warm, homely home,
Your cult will crumble like the Colosseum of Rome.
You see, Satan is known for destruction and death,
So if you decide to oppose me, you just took your last breath.
I would kiss her right now, make you feel icky and horrible,
I would hold her hand; remind her she is adorable.
I would mess up her short, dark hedgehog hair,
I would gently hold her face in two hands and stare.
We would poke our tongues out at you, and then grin evilly,
Then skip away, holding hands, eyes twinkling gleefully.
Me and her, we don’t give a flying hoot what you think,
You’re small, insignificant to us, gone in a blink.
Me and her, we don’t want or care for your opinion,
You’re just doing what you’ve been told, like a good lil’ minion.
You go do your thing, and we’ll go do ours,
We will look up and follow the brightly glowing stars.

Sexuality is like colours
There is something between
Black and white
It's grey

This country was founded on the idea of being who you are in liberty, yet there are people stuck in closets because the monsters are on the other side and the darkness has become too comforting at this point. The face of death has become too beautiful to want to turn away. We are hidden, dancing around the idea of being hung as perfectly as that shirt that was “too gay”. We are wondering how to propose to the Grim Reaper because at this point, he is the only man who can “make us straight”, at least in my case. Others would give him a blow in exchange for their soul. The asexuals, though, are finding the words to ask death out on a coffee date. We’re all just thinking and wishing. We’re rolling out our blueprints and studying the structure of surviving instead of accepting that we’re different and actually living. The pride that used to live in us died a long time ago. Maybe around the same time we were in the closets writing our suicide notes. For me it was the day my mother said the idea of me having lesbian friends gave her headaches. Let me not even get into how high her blood pressure would rise if I told her she had a pansexual daughter. “Had”. Now I am but a corpse living among the resurrected by Christ and I constantly ask myself when God is going to baptize me. I ask myself when I am going to stop looking like a zombie from the Walking Dead because, ******* it, I never learned the script or signed up for any of this. I never even wanted to be an actress. I wanted to be a singer. I wanted to sing the songs of my love for her and let the paparazzi spread rumors of how I cheated because I’m that ******* hot. Mother, I wanted to be a singer, but you ripped my tonsils out and told me to smile for the camera and look pretty. But mother, have you ever thought of something? What if she’s the only one I want to look pretty for?

When I attempt to think about my future, I know I can't. I know, I can only do what I can now to piece together my future like a puzzle. I want to get on T, I want to cut my hair shorter than my parents allow, I want more body modifications, I want to have a completely flat chest, but at the moment, I can't imagine what I'd turn into. A butterfly I'm not able to picture yet. I am at the moment, a small catapillar, not being able to pass for the gender I wish. She's. Hers'. That's not what I want directed towards me. I wants he's and they's. Male and neutral term are what I want my friends to use. Not my birth name, Kit. Kit Lucas Zachary is what I'll become when I get older and scrounge the money together to make that change possible. I must change myself and bold myself into what I want to be happy, even if that means I lose people, I can deal. If they don't agree with how I feel, they don't need to be in my life anyway. I can't say that I'm a boy yet, I can't say I'm pansexual yet. The violence that is occurring against my LGBTQ+ people locks my lips together to my parents, and possibly some of my friends, because I don't want them to be my demise. In this hick state of Texas. My chest binder must be put up due to high summer tempatures, it's too hot to have on so I can't feel at home in my own body. I hate my feminine face, and my father uses double standard, making me shave, making me feel naked and incorrect. I feel incomplete, like I haven't had my right growth spirt, my right puberty. "Oh yeah, she-" makes me want to put a bullet in my head, but it I pulled the trigger I know my family wouldn't understand why. "Hey girl!" don't look, don't turn, they aren't talking about you. But, once I'm an adult with a steady income, I hope to become the person I wish to be.

It would be so easy
To throw the towel in
And call it a life.

I can’t turn on the television
Because every “Breaking News” story
Makes me cry.
How can I go about my day
Listening to people complain about cold coffee
When a lover is dead
And nothing stays still for a moment?

How do we live like this?

It feels as though my body is collapsing into itself,
An eternal void of instability,
A black hole for wisps of passion.

How do I live like this?

I have known the love of strangers
Thousands of miles away
In bars and silent living rooms.
I have known quiet love,
Felt the fingertips of men sure in the simplicity
Of heterosexuality.
I have known quiet love,
But never the fingertips of women
Terrified of themselves because
They’ve been told they are wrong.

I don’t always have the courage to stand,
And we all know that it is easier to submit.
The true test of human endurance is the ability
To be beaten down time and time and time again
And always get back up.
I’m still standing,
With sore feet and a broken heart.
We are all still standing.
Except for the ones that aren’t.

She was everything I wanted to be
No wonder I questioned my sexuality
But to find she might be into me?
My heart couldn't help but skip a beat

I was set on being her everything
Four years I batted my eyes
And watched as she fell for others
As she let them between her thighs

As young people will do
I fell for others to
But she was always there in my heart
My feelings always true

Lover apon lover
Cracked and broke me down
Slowly I lost myself
Slowly I began to drown

But I still loved them
Just as I loved her
But how could I love both
And for that I was unsure

Finally one day
I got my chance
After so long in denial
She had given me a second glance

I showed her what I could do
And she fell before me
She fell FOR ME
But it wasn't what I hoped it would be

For once in so long
I found that I didn't want her
And finally my life
Wasn't such a blur


Because I wanted him
And only him
I wanted him so much
That my love for her actually grew dim

I realized that day
That it wasn't about what you were
It was about who you were
Yes finally I was sure

So many people
talk about what they like
But I found that I like whos not whats
I'm not straight I'm not "****"

I am who I am
And I'm everything I want to be
And she helped me realize that
She helped me find me

I may not have the privilege of support from all sides,
But I know who I am.
Maybe it hasn’t exactly surfaced,
And I admit,
There have been some times where I wondered if it’s right,
But how can finally being sure of yourself be wrong?
Yes,
I struggle with self-image
And self-acceptance
My mom looking me in the eye and telling me I can’t be sure,
Or listening to my dad lecture my sister about how it’s
Adam and Eve,
Not Eve and Amy
Doesn’t exactly help,
But in a place and a society where being yourself is only acceptable
Sometimes
If at all,
Having even a little bit of pride
Can be the difference between
Saying “***** it” and being yourself
And deciding pleasing others is more important than your own happiness
But I’m done letting others decide what’s best for me
When I’m clearly already drowning in expectations
So here goes;
I’m pansexual and **** proud
Take it or leave it,
But I'm not gonna change for anybody.

Bodies.
Two together
Sliding,
Slipping
And slapping
Together.
Moans and cries
As purity dies.
As ****** thoughts
Are given life and energy.

As she arches her back,
Clawing his skin
Loving this sin.
As he goes deep
And she screams his name
Begging more
And his thighs, pleasantly sore
As sweat makes them slick

And moans and cries
And you feel so high

Only ***
Skin on skin
A man and a woman,
Or a woman and a woman
A man and a man
Trans and Genderflexible

Love is love however we
Want to see

And I am a follower of God
While i may not partake
I do not hate
Please understand,

We don't know how to say
That they don't think it's right.
But it's your life.

Forgive my people
For giving you anger
When they should have given love