#ocd poems on Hello Poetry

Stewie Dec 2019

I’m crazy.
I’m obsessive.
I’m anxious.
I’m depressed.
Those are words I would use to describe myself if someone asked me to.
No one cares or asks me what’s going on in my head.
It’s because I’m chaotic and normal people don’t know what to say.
If I’m being honest, my everyday life feels like a nightmare.
I think about death and it plagues my every move.
It’s like my head is a hot air balloon and there are ropes in my body, tied to my heart, keeping myself in place.
I feel way too much and I will never know how to stop that.
I can try as hard as I want to control the emotions that leak out of my heart like spilled milk but I can’t.
Because I’m tired of running from my fears and my problems. I’m tired of acting like I’m okay.
Why can’t I be loved just because of my mental illness?
Everyone always acts like it’s such a heavy burden to carry around but why can’t everyone just feel like me?
Because not everyone is that deep.

#mentalillness #anxiety #depression #ocd

Lydeen Dec 2019

Kiss Your Wrist

I'll thrice kiss
your wrist. It's
the only way

I can know
that you'll be
okay. I promise

it will help.
Kiss Kiss Kiss,
Kiss your wrist.

#ocd #compulsive #compulsions #tick

Lydeen Dec 2019

Tick tick TICK, 1 2 3, Kiss Kiss Kiss

Kissing my wrist.
1. 2. 3
times. I should

be good for
a few hours.
Then repeat again.

Stumb- stumbling stumble
over ov ov
stumbling over over

over over over
stumbling ov over
my over my

words. Every time
I try to
speak to you.

Kiss, 2, 3.
Now I won't
accidentally hurt you.

Picking at my
skin, pinching, frowning.
Cutting each and

every bite into
a perfect cube.
A PERFECT cube.

Into the car.
Kiss, kiss, kiss.
Now I won't

be in another
car accident. But!
Don't forget, don't

forget. Do it
again to be
sure. You have

to or else
you'll get hurt.
Hurt your family.

Hurt someone else's
family. Break apart
a whole life.

I can count
every single calorie
I have eaten

today without even
looking at the
label. I can

taste and tell
you which artificial
sugar is in

my energy drink.
But! I only
drink the ones

with guarana extract.
It's all natural,
so at least

kinda better, right?
FREEZE! Here comes
a new thought.

What if I
suddenly ran out
into traffic, got

hit by a car,
and traumatized someone.
Or, consider, if

I went to
a theme park,
and just jumped

out in front
of a roller
coaster, horribly traumatizing

a whole train
of children. A
huge explosion of

blood and brains.
Don't do it,
don't do it,

Don't do it,
don't, don't, don't
It's a thought.

It doesn't control
you. It doesn't.
Let it go.

Kiss kiss kiss.
Kiss, 2, 3.
Kissing my wrist.

#ocd #obsession #obsessions #compulsion #compulsions #anxiety #tick #ticks

Empire Dec 2019

Familiar and Terrifying

It’s returned
I’m getting obsessive
I can hear the voices...
They’re afraid
Urging caution where none is needed
Seeing death in every little thing
They can’t hear reason
The anxiety has been triggered
I could panic
I won’t... but I could

This is so familiar....
I know this delusion...
It was my companion for so long...
Until the pills broke our bond
But now....
It wasn’t supposed to come back
I thought I was free
I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE RID OF YOU!!!

But here I am
Bending to your will again
A slave to the compulsions
To the irrationality of my mind
I was afraid of this...
I am so **** afraid of this
Because I really don’t know
If I can fight this again

I’ve been visited tonight by a very specific kind of anxiety that nearly ruined me over a year ago...
At least this time I have medication...

#anxiety #ocd #panic #fear #mentalillness #ill #sick

Sharon-rose Boisvert Dec 2019

OCD

I will protect you with all my might

Whatever I say you will do

I will hug you in the evening

You will feel better for a little while

I will give you solutions

But I will also create the problems

I will tell you my opinions

But they will be so irrational you will think you lost it

I will be your bliss and your torture

I will be you
and you will be me

but

I will not exist

You will be alone

OCD is a disorder not fully understood by scientist. It's different for everyone. There are many types of OCD. Mine is magical thinking.

#ocd #obssessive #compulsive #disorder

blackbiird Dec 2019

o.c.d.

help
      stop
this
     doesn’t
belong
     here
     you
          don’t
    belong
here
   in
my
    world
messing
    it
up.

haven't written anything in a while because I've been so distracted but here ya go :)

#mind #ocd #random #love

sushii Nov 2019

Anxiety

Nervous
Nervous
Nervous
Nervous
My nerves have failed me yet again.

Twitching
Twitching
Twitching
Twitching
My senses are overwhelmed again.

Shaking
Shaking
Shaking
Shaking
My body can’t handle what it’s taking

Hurting
Hurting
Hurting
Hurting
My diaphragm is twisting and turning.

I’m scared.

#anxiety #nervous #anxietydisorder #ocd #scared #paranoid

Blixy Nov 2019

It feels like....

It feels like my stomach is turning the inside out.
It feels like my brain goes dark like the whole world is crashing down on me.

I am broken and I mean that in every imaginable way.
It feels like this huge dark hole is consuming me alive and I don't have any power over it.

It controls me. It controls my thoughts.
My actions.
It controls my life and every time I try to walk away it pulls me right back.

And I have tried so many times but it feels like I'm screaming from the very bottom of my toes to the top of my lungs.

Like I'm screaming and nobody hears me.
It feels like I'm losing myself to the sleepless nights cause the nightmares won't stop.

#control #losing #ocd #nightmares #screaming

Bobcat Nov 2019

Suicidal OCD.

Have you ever thought of ending it all?
Facing your fear when your backs to the wall?
Crossing the bridge and paying the toll?

Nobody know's the feeling better then me
I fantasize while in bed, rest assured I can't sleep
Knowing it's me I fear is murdering me

Drowning my face in my own reflection
Disconnecting myself from other's connection
Removing my head from self-loathing dejection

Addicted to things that help me forget
All the memories and laughs that came and went
Everything that I've done that I can't just repent

#dejection #suicidal #ocd

Juliana Nov 2019

I have an anxiety disorder.

I have an anxiety disorder.
I know, I know.
We all do.

It’s 2019. We’re Gen Z.
We grew up eating Red 40,
and processed sugar’s our religion.

But I have an anxiety disorder.
And ADHD. And a bit of OCD
when it comes to schoolwork.
Or books. Or anything that
does not matter.
But my room? Hahaha,
what’s cleaning?

I have an anxiety disorder.
That phrase goes through
my head several times a day.

I feel the constant buzzing.
My dance teachers used to
tell me to radiate energy
out of my fingertips.
And I do.
My hands tremble constantly,
and I forget to breathe.

I used to be that kid that
always had an imaginary friend.
When I was little,
his name was DeeDee.
But when he went away,
and there were others.
Like characters in a story,
but I could see them. Talk to them.
Now the voices are just in my head.

I have an anxiety disorder.
I like to talk. A lot.
Sometimes I’ll say a sentence
and not get to the point
for an hour.
Ranting’s like a pastime to me.
I’ll just ramble on and on.
Then stop myself.
“So, how’s your life going?”
Two seconds of silence,
Then back to whatever
show, or movie, or teacher
was annoying the hell out of me
whenever this conversation started.

I promise I don’t do this because I
like to hear myself speak.
On the contrary, actually.
I hate it. I hate my voice. I hate my words.
But I can’t face the silence.
Because whatever I say out loud
is a million times better
then the voices in my head.

“Shut up.”
“They don’t care.”
“You forgot to do this.”
“Remember that one time
you said that thing
freshmen year.”

I have an anxiety disorder.
I have ADHD.
I’ll have OCD if I get worse.

And if I could flip a switch
and it would all go away,
I would
in a heartbeat.
Snap my fingers and move to
a deserted island without any
people to judge my every move.
But then I’d be left with the
thing I hate most.
Quiet.

#nanowrimo #anxiety #adhd #ocd #mentalhealth