You like to say love disappeared.
And I swear it never left, but she talk like Kanye "Ima let you finish"
shrug her shoulders; cut me off, Swift.
    Drinks on the table it was no one else's business, Henny in my system there was no one else who witnessed how she never took a breath like a run on sentence so I'm in the club flexing working on my fitness; arms out stretched on my chest crucifixion.
    I'm forgiven but could never get a word in not even one syllable I'm talking in synonyms I,
never
ever
nevermore, words with friends.  Triple word how absurd you be trippin ****, on my Instagram insecurity I'm tired of it I'm with my Boys chillin rarely smoked but might burn a spliff; ease the pain so insane major Payne fatigue is in.  
    I got a glimpse of future, I use to, try to hit you up reconnect, bluetooth, I'm in her ear lying for the ***, I miss you, she on top giving me the truth: this all you.  But **** it though I'm not trynna be your man, but when she leaving out for work I be sleepin in
and when she home I tax that *** like I'm Uncle Sam nothing ever change so after head she be at my neck
next
    Flashback to the present
--and--
she still telling me how I don't get it
stressed
unproductive in her presence, you not even in front of me I'm still tasting lemons; Yo, my star player wants a trade should I let her go? cut too deep for bandaids should I let it flow.  
    Throwback to the past vampire clothes but the blood different I'm a sucker for that red though: she was floating 6 inches from the earth floor, you's a victim baby true blood, spoil us!  Show Me What You Got lil mama let your "Kingdom Come" dressed in all black spending money black republican?  Awesome and some; I was sliding home she was catching, clamping; say I turn her on like a touch screen, Samsung; with a touch of color you would disobey your mother as I slid under your covers
mid-day massages
"Midnight Maunders"
at least that's how it use to be, now Award Tour got her trippin almost frequently
we use to fight for love she said now she a causality!
        "and how you gonna make this bout you it's about me, phone ringing since 1am it's about 3
  thought you was slick huh,
thought I was sleep, you **** right love disappeared"
but she never leaves.
She's still waiting to exhale, but she never breaths.

"New York's charm is that you're surrounded by things you can't have"
then you
I meet an identity not of this world the term foreign sort after by many
a 1st world problem
No
"New York's charm is it makes you think you can have them"
Well well New York, an exotic creature I can't tame in disbelieve that you say your presence is illegal
not to be corralled
not to be labeled.
A 3rd world entity at least our verbs the same
but our actions?
explain
am I just another charm on your arm,
Or bracelet
brace yourself: New York

Circo nips on the go, the road
no mortgage or roof on the mobile home
Making music with the wind, her curls
I watch it --picture frame the moment with my hands on canvas memories and dreams are sandwiched no lettuce but the tank lets us cruise with these 6 figure fantasies worry free courtesy a day dream
Or déjà vu if I could choose, and I chose
We choose to break the rules so what's on ya mind? pulled into a rest stop indecent crimes with a box full of promises tucked in my pocket
Just know that it will surface but to you I'm not worth it
Just don't cosign the lies that they tell don't sign the doted line or give me that bill --it's all premature don't treat it all like a stillborn
Still on fact I see once every 6 months
I figured I was important figured that she could wait now contemplating extortion, how can ways of the selfish out weigh what's important
Cue curtains, hands off canvas

A silent mourn prior to another portrait, she spoke:
"take my body if the last supper"
Pardon myself from my favorite flavor no savoring the savior who can't even save herself or society.

I traded ***** pixels, sold my soul
for a bathtub full of this cold city water,
to let it dampen the dissonance between the long talks, screams, and silence and
wash my memory clean.

I severed what I just ****** could not untie and floated north
to be lifted to the sky-island rooftops and above and
finally feel light.

Instead, my skin is crumpling like trash and
still I find my fingers crawling down my throat,
depressing,
the only way I know how to release
all the things I swallow whole
and let sink without bubbles.

People everywhere.
People laughing; people sighing.
People talking; people silent.
Everyone occupied in their own lives, all in a hurry; where are they going?

Walking through the streets, I saw many things.
I saw people, faces worn and sad, going through the garbage for their meal; my heart broke.
I saw the elderly crossing the street, slowly, vulnerability written all over them, yet no one helped them, they were in too much of a hurry.
My heart was saddened.

I felt the bitter cold whip across my face, felt it against my bare arms and shivered.
I looked about and saw people huddled in the corners of buildings trying to shield their poorly clad bodies from the bite of the cold.
My gaze dropped to the coat in my hands and I felt both gratitude and sorrow.
Why was I blessed and they not?

It’s a city of plenty, yet there are so many without.
So many passed by, ignored, hungry, cold, homeless…
But everyone’s in a hurry, they all have places to be.
Could one sandwich, a coat, or a helping hand actually make a difference? How's anyone to know....they're all in such a hurry.

i wanna kiss you
in the crowd in new york;
in the crowd in disneyland;
in the subway in front of many people;
the hallway at school;
and in the wedding hall

I hate the person I become
I hate the fact that I don't trust anyone
I fell like I need to hide
So nobody can catch me
Nobody can find me
Nobody can get to me

I turned water into coffee this morning
and sat by the four corner light box
while reading a book
that taught me not to judge it by its cover.
The twisted crooks
that the story entails
the end trails of coke heads
that still drop slowly down the walls of
East Harlem.
I turned water into coffee this morning
and sat by the four corner light box
and all of its massive holiness
creating a halo around my entire body
without fearing a bullet would come rushing in
and **** me dead
I sat and read of another universe where
life and love still exist
but in a way I could not bring myself to condone
I turned water into coffee this morning
and sat by the four corner light box
with a dark shadow created by the backlit room
safe and in place
just wishing I was one of the twisted crooks
the story entailed
with my end trails in a little more danger
than when
I turned water into coffee this morning
and sat with the purity of my whiteness,
by the four corner light box
while reading another universe
and doing nothing about it.

In the city that never sleeps
Nobody has time to dream

No one cares for the color scheme
Everybody on these streets are mean
Women over here dress to ****

Yearning for a life to steal
Outrageous trigger happy police
Ruthless, spiteful and rigorous
Kindness comes fatally priced

No time for love or paradise  
Obsessive depression is what's subsidised
Beggars on my train struggle and scuffle
Oblivious oppression lurking
Delirious children deceived  
Yesterday's conception grieved

Craving lust is a must
Ageless shame is  
Rationalized pain
Everyone here idealizes blame
S*erenity is an absentee in this chaotic city

A wave of elation hit me the second I saw you,
and through that revolving door you flew.
I couldn't help but notice the smile on your face
as we held each other in a longing embrace.
The scent of you flooded my lungs,
how good it is to be happy and young.

Hand in hand we walked,
all the way to Top of the Rock.
Admiring the city we stood in that space,
you wrapped both arms around my waist.
Still standing in the corner behind the glass,
I turned with a grin, and our lips met at last.

We strolled over to Bryant Park,
where we laughed until dark.
The times we stared in each other's eyes without making a sound,
made it feel as if no one was around.
We watched little kids play many games,
if it wasn't freezing we said we'd do the same.  

Finally caught a cab to take us to The Met,
there we listened to a string quintet.
We sat at a small table with my dad and his wife,
where they talked all about college and life.
For an hour we stayed, in that beautiful place,
and secretly, our fingers were interlaced.

Back to the apartment with only an hour left,
we rode the elevators without a rest.
Foreheads touching, and mouths pressed together,
you soon had to leave in the cold frosty weather.
When it was time, we said farewell and goodbye,
then you ran back and held me for one last time.