exploring my mind for a topic,
and all that comes up is you;
I miss the taste of your skin,
and the look of infinite love in your eyes.
you're the only soul in this world that's lifted me up with just a smile,
a word,
a look.
you have me forever.
love like this is irreplaceable.

You mustn’t look behind
You mustn’t look ahead
Stay in the sideways they say but it can be hard when surrounded by *****
Your future is bleak and non-existent
Your past too melancholic
So sideways you look regardless of the numbing pain engulfing you
Your foreground fades to background
Your background foregrounds, highlighting futility
Looking sideways is how you stay until future and past collide

*You should’ve looked behind while the choice was there
Or ahead, at least

Hey! You!
Follow Your Path
Frost had it right when he “Took the road less traveled by”
But when is that easy?
Because frankly the road I’m going down has been traveled by many
At this day in age I’m not sure there is a road not traveled

Roads have been paved and concreted to the city
Made by technology and not withered by experience
I would love to take the road less traveled by
But instead I think I’ll take to the sky
Because these roads are cluttered with traffic
And too slow moving
For my fast-paced decade
So I think I’ll traveling by plane

I believe a great man name “Doc” once said, “where we’re going, we don’t need roads.”
That’s right I don’t need roads
Because I’m done following the path paved and named for me
I’m done with society not viewing the world the way I see
I’m done with the insecurities
I will not be told
I’m not pretty enough
Smart enough
Involved enough
I’m not tall enough
I’m not old enough

I determine my life not you
I will not wait at the stoplight
I will no longer wish for the green to last
Because the sky is limit
I will not wait another minute

This advice is not only to me but to you
Fly with me
Be clueless with me
We will make the sky our kingdom
Give ourselves absolute freedom
Do go down the path we please
Because we choose our destinies
Just think of the endless possibilities
I am sick of the need to perpetually people please not praiseworthy persons who are passively prejudice of my personal path
Please, swallow your pride
We don’t need roads
And we don’t need to deal with stop signs
We just need to mind the birds

This game we are
playing tires me out.
You decided to call it 'hide and seek';
we are the players - you and I, and all of them.
But I question this little game of ours,
everybody's hiding.
Nobody
is seeking.

Through the dark,
I let my eyes adjust.
I did my best
to stay out of sight.
Behind the curtains, below
the cabinets, and until now
hidden in these words.

We remain unseen.
We remain hidden.
No one wanted to be
found.

I try to control every variable
Just like an experiment
Like a mad scientist
If something goes wrong it could cost some blood
A hamstring
My shins

My heart is pounding like a runaway train
Chugging along and always speeding up that it sometimes trips over itself in my chest
Fluttering

I tune out everything except for the official

I set my blocks
I am already trying to catch my breath to calm the butterflies in my stomach
I wipe my hands on my spandex
They're covered in sweat

I let out a shaky breath. Telling myself "You know the drill"

"Ladies stand in your lanes"
I do a couple tuck jumps
Double check my spikes, my hair
I shake out my hands hoping to wipe off the nervousness
But know deep inside my heart that it's the only thing keeping me sane

"On your marks"
A sour taste forms in my mouth
All I can do now is think about my start
Another variable I become the master of
Low and drive
I get on my trembling hands as I slide my feet in the blocks
I inhale-my breath quivering
I peer ahead at the finish line in front of me
It's so close yet oh so far away

"Set"
Is there a word for when all of your potential energy instantly turns into kinetic?
All of your nervousness turning to pure adrenaline?

Is there a word for that split second after the gun goes off?
For what it feels like when my muscles stretch and scream for oxygen?
My mind goes blank
I can't hear any of the yelling or my runaway heartbeat
I don't think about who's beside me

This race isn't about the competitors next to me
It's the clock
That irrevocable tick that means almost everything
That horrendous voice inside my head saying I am too tired
Slow down
My legs weren't made for this
But I know deep down inside that it's my brain trying giving up

I keep running because I don't care about the voices in my head or the sprinters beside me
I race against time
An irrevocable substance that will always win
But I was born to run

Is there a word for when your brain gives up and you are running with pure adrenaline and heart?

Is there a word for running so fast time slows down? You can hear your mothers pleads, your fathers coaching, your friends reassurance as you pass by but it doesn't even process until after you are done

You can feel every millisecond in your toes when you spikes dig into the track

You can feel everything that could have gone wrong but somehow went right and you don't even register it until after

I make it to the finish line in one piece
My muscles are tight and my lungs are trying to catch up with my racing heart
My head is pounding and I don't remember what just happened
But I get a feeling that it was something wonderful
I can't find a word for it

I wish there was because  I would have already said it by now