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mark soltero Sep 2020
i don’t care  
i might be afraid
but i don’t care
it won’t matter
when i won’t be
lemme go on record and say I was definitely listening to nirvana when I was thinking ab this
Cattatonicat Jul 2020
You wanted me to be tiny like you

The compliments you gave out in the beginning
Dried up and soon nothing I did was enough for you

I went out of my way to help you the first time
After that, you took my help for granted, made me do it over and over again
You acted helpless to guilt me, and the truth is you didn’t want to help yourself
When I tried to stop, you left a hurtful letter, out in the open, very well visible, on the kitchen table
Yes, I know you lied about the fact that you wrote the letter for your eyes only
Yes, I know you wrote the letter to hurt me and manipulate me
That’s when I should have left you, but I was too nice, I was too naive

I did most of the cooking, and you did most of complaining about the food
You started to control the way I dress, you wanted me to dress the way that was acceptable to you
You also didn’t want me to be with my friends

You belittled the work I did to chase my dream
If I work for my dream, I would grow, and you didn’t want that
You needed me to be tiny, so you could control me

I couldn’t let you manipulate me into being tiny like you
I have a dream I can’t possibly achieve if I’m tiny like you
I can’t let that happen
That’s why you are not in my life
Rachelhopeful Jan 2020
I am a garden exploding with flowers,
Like a work of art
but your eyes were closed and
You didn’t care to listen to my thoughts,
You cursed me when I begged you to stop...
spelled your curse words...
Your so smart
I’m a landscape designer and really connect spiritually in the garden. I begged my narcissist to stop calling me names which included every name in the book. Once I started counseling, I demanded that he stop cursing me so he would spell out your a “B I T C H.” He’s an attorney so he thinks he’s smarter than everyone.
Rachelhopeful Jan 2020
I TOOK it and HEARD it
And tried to forgive,
Forgive the last time, or time before,
Forgive all the hurt
But I couldn’t take it anymore
Now the only person
I need to forgive is myself
For trusting a monster
Who is in love with himself
I was taught to be forgiving so I forgave horrific and abusive behavior over and over again always hoping it would be better but things escalated as I became more tolerant of abuse and he became more violent.
Stygian Jan 2020
You're a beautiful creation.
But what did they do to you?
Now you're a beautiful disaster.
What can I do?

Someone will love you but that someone's not me.
I'd rather be alone now than fall to my knees
And beg you to see, that this is real and this is me
But you cant see it so I'd rather be free.
And learn to love myself more than you could ever love me.

You're a beautiful creation.
But what did they do to you.
Now you're a beautiful disaster.
There's nothing I can do.
Sorry this is long
Rachelhopeful Dec 2019
THE KEY

Please Dear G-d
Make him go
For he hurts me so...
I cried too many times,
"please stop, GO, leave me alone"
Stop yelling, putting me down
Hurting me so...
It wasn't all mental
It was physical too
Hurt my child
I didn't know..
I'll never forgive him..
To prey upon the weak
what does it mean
To hurt a child
Threaten my life
It means you are meek
And why?
Because you are tormented inside
A liar and a thief,
Please spirit above
Give me relief and peace

I am a lover, giver and want to be free
He took advantage of the good in me
But not anymore
He needs to let go
Stop controlling me
Everyone please pray for me..
I don't want much
Just a simple life you see
Filed with people who love and care for me

You get what you give
And know one can deny
I give and love freely
I believe you will see why
For that is my nature to nurture and care
I will pray and you will see
That soon I will be there
Hopefully the blessing inside
is that he will eventually understand why
Why I needed to leave
from his control over me
For Now, PROUDLY I hold the key
Thankfully now I am free
A M Ryder Dec 2019
Do you think it's too late for me?
I mean, am I doomed to be
The person that I am?
It's not too late for me
Is it?

I need you to tell me
That it's not too late
I need you to tell me
That I'm a good person

I know I can be selfish
And narcissistic
And self destructive but
Deep down, underneath all of that
I'm a good person

And I just need you to tell me
That I'm good
Alek Mielnikow Dec 2019
You drink milk
when all that’s served
is water and wine.

You ****** the throbbing
pulse of the night
with your contriving lips.

You dip into the
honey and you
bedizen your seat.

You leave a trail of blood
to lead you back to
where you are from.

You wink and
the world relents.

-
by Aleksander Mielnikow | Alek the Poet
Rachelhopeful Nov 2019
DONE
I grieved the relationship
we never were
Because you only love yourself
When I finally left
My grieving for
Us was done.
Nigdaw Sep 2019
We walk
In glow of silver screen,
We talk
In acronyms and SMS slang,
The star
Of an everyday movie
Camera man, script writer, director
Floating in the ether
Weaving our tapestries,
Between radio masts
Life on earth, live on earth
Spaceman, time traveller
On a voyage of discovery,
Walking and talking to ourselves
Without noticing the outside world,
Only interested in our own
Biographies;
Time for another selfie…………….
"The people will not revolt. They will not look up from their screens long enough to notice what’s happening" - George Orwell ©
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