मन~ सुन

कहिले काहीँ तहल्न निस्कदा
दिन भरी पानी पर्दा
उर्लेको हनुमन्ते झैं
एकान्तमा बसेर चियासगैं
तिम्रो यादहरूमा तड्पिन
मन लागेझै लागेझै गर्दा
मन अझ शून्य शुन्य भइदिने
मन ~ सुनको दिन।।

अरूबेला लिखुरे देखिने
र आज
सारा धर्ती बगाउझै गरेको
त्यो लिखुरे हनुमन्तेको
छेउमा गएर
मनको सारा भावना बगाईदे न
भन्न लागेझै लागेझै गर्दा
मन यतिकै यतिकै
शून्य शुन्य भइदिएको
मन ~ सुनको दिन।।

तिमीले पनि मलाई
सम्झेको छौं कि जस्तो
लाग्छ।
र त्यही सम्झनामा
बगेका आशूंहरू पो
हुन् कि
मेरो घरको छतमा आएर
मलाई कविता लेखुझै लुखुझै
बनाउंदा
मन पुरै शून्य शून्य भएर अल्मलिने
मन ~सुनको दिन।

बादलमा लेखेको नामले त
वर्षातमा यादले भिझाउने रहेछ
र
मनमा लेखेको नामले चाहीँ
बेला बखतमा
मन व्यग्र व्यग्र बनाई
शून्यताले भिजाउने रहेछ

मन ~सुनले बेइमानी गर्यो
जिन्दगीमा
या हो प्रेमले...

So fresh and free
Joy is spread
Calm is instilled
Heat withdraws
With drops of life
All is cleansed

overcast
you sit
**** on mango skin
the juice on your chin
drips on
basil leaves,
your hands already wet
before the rain
we watch the yellow mountains
spring back to life
verdant, almost emerald
green foliage tender at the end of summer,
nourished by the dead roots
beneath softened soil.

The rain fell, delicate as muslin
heavenly threads, coming undone
From pearly gates of paradise.
Weaving fluid intricacies underneath
The grainy sands, grooved with drops
And canopies laden with silken film
dewy, with crystal orbs suspended
a diamond mosaic radiant
Under the ashen clouds.
Crystalline drops clung
Onto ends of leaf blades
Forming a grand chandelier
Hundreds hung
On slender boughs
And the tree stood with
An embellished crown
Bedecked with clear dew

Back in January seeds started flowing
From the balcony.

On Sunday we read
The poems of the deaf and
Watched the matches stumble
Drunkenly through the darkness.

In March my hips began to
Fill out like my mother’s.

A monsoon of bullet ants
Waged war along the perimeter of the bath.
I squashed three under my thumb.
Hide, I told them. I have dropped mercy off the edge of the hanging bridge.

In May the stars were soft,
The ants came back to bite me in my sleep.

I tried to clasp your nose to keep you warm
But all the heat had flown from our bodies.
Sacrifices were made along the way.
The ants, admittedly, least among them.

I let the rain fall upon my shoulders.
It is cold,
yet welcoming somehow.

I taste the salty sadness
as it runs in lines
down my face,
and drips off my chin.

After months of the emotional hiatus,
this storm has ended it all.

I feel the electricity welling inside me.
I wait for the lightning to strike,
before the deafening boom of thunder.

And I am awake.

For the first time in months,
I feel everything instead of nothing.
I am somber.
I am impassioned.
I am free;
to feel
and to let the feelings take me in their arms
and throw me until I can’t move.

This monsoon
is long overdue
and the numbness of emotion beats
the paralysis of feeling nothing.

Blood runs down my blistered fingers
and my hands are cramped and shaking.
My pen runs dry but still I write
yet my resolve is slowly breaking.
If I give up, just die alone
and drown in my thoughts tonight
would anybody care enough to notice,
would they wish I'd put up a fight?
I was told to write out my emotions,
that they'd dissipate like lost love,
but instead there's been a monsoon
that I never will be free of.
Instead of sticking to the page,
the ink is raining down
filling even the vastest oceans
in which I'm going to drown.
So if I am gone before the morn
just know it wasn't you.
It's the ink that got the best of me,
and so I say adieu.