I wish to write
before feeling takes
flight.
But I fear it will
be a love song.
As if the world needs
another one of those.

Ruining out of ways
to say the same things
in my prose.
Trying to be dry.
But getting the
words out;
has me on tiptoes.

Sweating words;
pores full of metaphor.
not knowing if I
even make sense anymore.

in those distant days, i said i never wanted to puff a single cigarette; i never wanted to put any dangerous substances in my system that would compel me to ask for it over and over again. you might be getting high off them, but the thought of they’d harm me—consume me little by little, gradually, until there’s nothing left with me but addiction and dependency is dreadful to me.

it all changed after you decided to break my heart.

now, i don’t care if i harm myself with cigarettes or any dangerous substances. i’m not afraid. because i survived you. you and your love are more harmful. the apocalyptic moment when we pressed our lips together, you also ****** the soul out of my body, leaving me a little to none of myself; you crept inside of me, savoring my vulnerability—they're even more harmful and addictive and euphoric than cigarettes or any dangerous substances could do to our bodies. yet i still survive, although i'm trembling every now and then with some pieces of you and me left in my grasp.

Take a look around you,
Look at the room you're in,
Are you happy?
Do you recognise yourself.

Paint a page of your past,
Write a word that infuses you with life.
Here you're, looking at you through the invisible glass,
This is what it must feel like:
To be free,
To spread your feathers willingly into the storm,
To gaze at that elusive light;
For once, to look in the mirror and not deceive yourself.

Traverse further in time,
Can you find yourself?
All of what you're, had been staring at you,
Your eyes had predicted this,
You were just to adamant to grant them true sight,
Blurring them;
Always escaping to your poisons
Living life in flashes, satisfying your convoluted mind.
Are you happy?

Here you're, back where you lie
Realising the gravity of this time,
Wishing you could run as fast as you would,
You want to, you see,
You want to outrun your shadow,
But here you're seeking substitutes,
and pleased with yourself.
Hoping someone deciphers your pain from your being
Shares it, alleviates it.
For here you're, always stuck in between
these familiar walls.

the sensation of a bus on the morning, a morning whose sun,
a flickering light, never goes out, even when unplugged.
you go to get a coffee, i don’t like coffee, so i keep our spot in line.
we boarded, i boarded. you were there and i was there
but really only i was there, in the end. i closed my eyes
and the lingering triggered cells of my retina maintained
your image for a few seconds. i opened my eyes again
and adjusted, never comfortable in the seat, *** and back
inevitably aching around the one-hour mark of a two-hour journey.
where we were going that day is unimportant now.
you brought water bottles, i drank the water bottles
and left none for you. i apologized and gave you the rest
of the breakfast sandwich. the hero’s journey
is a concept in narratology and sociology, among other fields
saying there is one central story, a template that all else fit.
carl jung had a lovely nose, and you have a lovely
pair of cheeks on your face (and elsewhere) and i
can’t help but kiss the ground you’re about to walk on (a blessing,
good luck to the earth for carrying your divinity).
inevitably

i know it’s a dream.
sometimes i wish that it was more than a cloud, a cloud
that hovers over us, frilly and fluffy, seeing me
heading towards the city and wanting to see the ocean
but knowing full well i won’t. neurosis, though
says i will, and as long as i’m neurotic i’m on my way
to the sea. i write about this a lot because i think
about this a lot. the driftwood i fashioned into a knife can’t cut
packages much these days.

do you see the ocean the way i do? no one does, i think.
last time i saw the ocean i cried and my
tears intermingled with the saltwater so now i don’t know
where my sorrow ends and the sea begins. i want to show you
the ocean but i’m afraid that if i do the water will bore you.
i want to feel your hand, laying down at shore, but i’m scared
to know that you’re not feeling the sand, only my love,
and i want to feel both.

Melancholic melodies fill the atmosphere
Suddenly it starts to gloom
So does my thoughts
Old memories came flooding in
Stuck in an eternal loop
Flashes of your face here and there
Paralyses me wishing it didn't end
Always coming home to you but you're never there
A room that was fill with your laughter has now gone silent
I know it's been awhile since we met
Please don't make it hard for me
I've suffered enough
I know I shouldn't be doing this
It's tempting to press call on your name
You've changed
You've moved on
Goodbye

Mistakes were made but I never regret them
But this one particular makes me drenched in it
Could it be I've let go the one that I love the most
Still haunts me to this very day
Oh how I yearn your affection
Where did I do wrong?
Was I the one at fault?
We've gone cold like the planes of thundra
Once a couple now estranged
My heart mourns everyday without you
Your presence still lingers around me
Like you never left
But you did
Maybe that was my mistake
I didn't love you then as now you were gone